𝙄𝙙𝙞𝙤𝙩 || 𝙃𝙤𝙡𝙡𝙮 & 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤 𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙛𝙤𝙮

CH #8

Draco's POV:

But as I thought about it, an irritating truth started to creep in-Holly was my escape. Not painting, not reading, not any of the other things I tried to convince myself would help me forget. It was her. And I hated that.

The realization was infuriating, like an itch I couldn't scratch. Of all the things, she was the one thing that pulled me out of my head, out of the darkness I'd grown so used to. She was the one who made everything feel... lighter. It wasn't supposed to be like that. I wasn't supposed to need anyone, least of all her. But the thought wouldn't go away, no matter how much I tried to shove it down.

She didn't even have to try. That was the worst part. Holly didn't have to paint or lose herself in books or pretend to be something she wasn't. She just was. She existed, and somehow, that was enough to drag me out of whatever misery I'd managed to bury myself in. Without even realizing it, she'd become the one thing I looked forward to.

And it made me angry. Not at her, exactly, but at myself. I shouldn't need her like that. I didn't want to need her like that. People like her-people who could escape so easily-didn't stick around for long. They didn't need to.

And yet, every time I thought about her, it was like the weight I carried got a little lighter. It made me feel pathetic, like I was some lost puppy trailing after her without even realizing it. I didn't want her to have that kind of power over me, but she did. She could make me forget everything-my fears, my doubts, the things I hated most about myself-with a single laugh, a single glance. And I resented her for it.

Or maybe I resented myself for letting her in. Because that's what this was, wasn't it? I'd let her in, somewhere deep where no one else had ever gotten close, and now she was there, taking up space I hadn't even known existed. It was infuriating, and terrifying, and... freeing.

I didn't want to think about it any more than I already had, but the truth kept circling back around, as irritating as it was undeniable. Holly wasn't just some girl who made life seem easy. She was the only thing that made me feel like I could escape at all. And the thought of losing her... well, I wasn't going to think about that, either.

Because if I admitted that I needed her, if I said it out loud, then it would be real. And if it was real, I wouldn't be able to pretend I was fine on my own anymore.

(Time skip)

The frustration had been clawing at me all day, and I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know how to shake it, how to escape this restless feeling she always left me with. Holly was everywhere-in my head, my thoughts, my chest. It was like she'd taken up permanent residence, and the worst part? She had no idea.

I found her in the courtyard, perched on the edge of the fountain, her sketchbook open but untouched on her lap. Her face was relaxed, but there was something distant in her expression, like she wasn't fully present. I stopped a few steps away, the words I'd rehearsed in my head crumbling the moment I saw her.

She glanced up, her gaze meeting mine. "Draco," she said, tilting her head.

That voice-it was curious, but not prying. I hated how easily it undid me.

"I need to talk to you," I said, my tone sharper than I meant it to be.

She blinked, closing her sketchbook slowly. "Alright."

Her calmness only made my pulse race faster. I didn't deserve it, not with the way I was about to dump everything on her. But there was no turning back now.

"You've been... distracting," I said, pacing slightly as I tried to gather my thoughts.

"Distracting?" she echoed, her voice cautious but without a hint of malice.

"Yes," I snapped, running a hand through my hair. "You're always there, Holly. Always in my head. And it's-it's infuriating, alright? I can't focus, I can't think, and no matter what I do, it's like you've taken over every corner of my brain."

She was silent, her hands folded over her sketchbook. Her expression was grounded, but there was a hesitation in her eyes, like she wasn't sure where I was going with this.

I stopped pacing and turned to face her. "I don't know what to do about it," I admitted, my voice quieter now. "You make me feel things I don't want to feel. Things I don't know how to deal with. And I can't stand it... but I can't stand the thought of losing you, either."

Her lips parted slightly, her breath hitching as she stared at me. "Draco," she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.

"I know it's selfish," I said quickly, before she could say anything else. "I know I'm probably the last person who deserves to feel this way about you. But I do. And if I don't tell you, I'm going to lose my mind."

For a moment, she just looked at me, her eyes wide and searching. Then, slowly, she stood, holding her sketchbook to her chest like it was a shield.

"Do you really mean that?" she asked softly. Her voice wavered, like she was afraid of the answer.

"Of course I mean it," I said, my voice rough. "I wouldn't be standing here making a complete fool of myself if I didn't."

She let out a shaky breath, her grip on the sketchbook loosening. "I don't know what to say," she admitted, her gaze flickering away.