I Need U Boy (A Jikook Fanfic Series)

I think I'm Sick

I closed my leather-backed diary after reading that year old entry. It's crazy to think that I whined over that sort of thing whenever I had free time. I chuckled to myself. I was hurt for a long while before that last entry, but eventually I finally acquired the idea to write down my thoughts last January. The year 2013 had just ended and I was finally starting to get used to all of the members in our group since it was the year of our debut. I had been hurting for almost two years.

But two years of hurt is a long time in a sense, it can do a lot to a person. Overall it toughens you up until numbed of emotion. Perhaps Jungkook reached that final stage himself, so maybe he isn't to blame for his lack of affection. But I wonder who could've done that to him? Pft. I don't know and I don't care.

I bent down and placed my diary into a drawer labeled "Jimin" and leaned back into the chair, swiveling from side to side calmly. As I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, memories of Jungkook and I suddenly flooded back into my mind. I squeezed my eyes tighter and rubbed them frustratedly, attempting to sway my thoughts from something I've been trying to avoid for months now. I can't remember. If I do, I'll be a mess again.

"Agh!" I grunted out, jolting upright. I can't do this—it's too quiet, I have to get out of here. I rose from the chair and left the home recording studio, entering the rest of the house. I tried to move as fast as I could to avoid any confrontation from the other members, specifically one person in particular who I preferably didn't want to come into contact with at the moment.

As I had predicted, the current situation would make it almost impossible for me to leave unnoticed. V and Jungkook were running around and laughing about who knows what, but I didn't watch them long enough to find out. Monie and Suga were talking on the couch while listening to some music, and Hobie was messing with Jin in the kitchen while he prepared something that smelled rather delicious. Okay, they all look distracted. Now for the execution. I waited until Jungkook and V weren't facing the front door, then I booked it.

Successfully, I left the dorm and exited the building, now exposed to the fresh breeze of the outside world. I began walking along the sidewalk, having no destination in mind, but honestly I didn't need one. I just needed to get away from the place that carried so many memories. Memories of me and.. Ugh just, just don't think Jimin, don't think. You'll only make things worse for yourself if you do.

I stuck my hands into my pockets and kept on forward, feeling calmed out in the open rather than crammed up with six pabos in that tiny room back at the dorm. Ahh.. This is just what I wanted. Friendly faces surrounding me going about their normal routines— not attacking and fleeing over just because they see the boy group "Bangtan Sonyeondan" somewhere; although that usually only happens when we are seen in the big cities where there are a lot of people. Maybe it has to do with the fact that our new residence lies far away from the big parts of Seoul and is hidden from suspected idol locations. Thanks, PD nim.

When I don't want anyone to know who I am, I'm sure to cover up my red hair as much as possible, and avoid wearing super expensive name brand clothing which usually draws suspicion. However, looking like you're obviously trying to avoid being recognized is also suspicious, but you can't win them all. I just chose the method that's most convenient for me.

I look around me, trying to spot somewhere that seemed cozy and not so packed with people, and I spotted this park down the way, not too far from where I was now. I know that place—me and the other members have been there before for an outdoor fan meet once. It was beautiful. Cherry blossom trees grow there, so it makes for a pretty and serene setting; I remember taking many selfies that day.