THE SICKNESS.

The spark

Lucille could tell that something was different between Nilou and herself as soon as she first opened her eyes. It couldn't be anything on her side considering she'd been unconscious for three whole days from what she'd been told. She turned slowly to lie on her side. Though she'd slept through the worst of the illness, her now painfully sore limbs and joints were eager to remind her of just how close she'd apparently come to dying. She had a suspicion as to what had flung her into the waiting jaws of death. After all, she'd spent several months now agonizing over her own morality, the anxiety of her social position and it's implications and worst of all, she'd spent several months with Nilou trying to pretend she didn't want to fling herself into the other girls arms and demand to be held. She'd had plenty of time to think over her predicament while pretending to still be unconscious the last few hours and had come to the realization that the stress of such emotional musings is what had weakened her. Grief is what had killed Adrienne and to her great embarrassment, a crush nearly led her back to her brother's side. He would have laughed in her face.
"Do you feel uncomfortable in anyway young miss? Should I bring you more blankets? Are you thirsty? Hungry?"
Lucille studied Nilou's eyes carefully while she thought about what to say. She couldn't very well come out and just confess her love. That wouldn't do at all and even with her newly discovered affections, she couldn't help but be suspicious of just how kind Nilou was suddenly being.
" Is nearly dying what it took to get you to be nice to me? Did anything happen while I was asleep?" She watched Nilou pause and then look down at her hands in her lap.
" You're my young mistress. Of course I should be kind to you."
Lucille rolled her eyes and turned stiffly to lie on her back again. Every movement she made felt like she'd been hit with a sledgehammer .
"Not today please. I can't bear your lies today. "
There was a brief silence during which Lucille was tempted to look back at Nilou if only to see what kind of face she was making. How had Lucille never noticed the mole beneath her lip? " Did my mother come by while I lay dying?"
She heard the breath Nilou let out, probably relieved at the change in direction the conversation was taking.
She told Lucille all about the doctor and her mother. How her mother came to see her everyday she was unconscious and how anxious she had seemed the whole time. Lucille didn't believe a word of it. After all, when she'd opened her eyes a while ago, only Nilou and Rayna had sat conversing quietly by her bedside. Her mother didn't care whether she lived or died. That woman's heart had been buried with her precious son. It was an awful thought and the bitterness of it made Lucille want to gag. Adrienne, her darling Adrienne.

Nilou seemed to notice the change in Lucille's demeanor and in an unexpected move, she stuck her hand underneath Lucille's covers and sought out the girls cold fingers with her own much warmer ones. She intertwined their fingers and gently rubbed circles into Lucille's palm.
"Listen. I'm going to take care of you. I said I would do what you asked of me. I also said I would do everything to ensure your comfort. I meant it. I know a servants words don't mean much to you, but my word is everything to me and all I have to offer you. So while you'll still have me, I'll be good to you."
Like everything else Nilou did, her promise was steady and carefully uttered. Each word was given time to leave her lips and wash over Lucille like waves meeting the shore in a gentle embrace. Lucille could feel warmth rising from the point of contact where they held hands to spread slowly all over her limp frozen body. Her eyes had closed without her noticing and she was far too afraid to open them now. She could only imagine what Nilou would do if she saw the tears forming in her eyes.
"If I had actually died, my mother would not have had you killed you know. You must know about the rule I'm sure but I think you couldn't know that house D'avencourt hasn't followed it in years. You could have run away while I was unconscious. Why didn't you?" Nilou shifted uncomfortably in her chair and turned her face to look anywhere but at Lucille. "I know about the rule. I still wouldn't have left you."
Lucille curled her fingers over Nilou's with all the strength she could muster. "You've said it yourself. Now you can't leave me at all. Even if you change your mind."
Nilou's grip on her hand tightened just a fraction, enough to make Lucille think she'd finally said something to remind the other girl of how much she disliked her.
" I won't."
The words were whispered but Lucille heard them still. She would have embraced death every day just to feel the warmth that settled in the pit of her stomach at that moment.