The Siege of Shadows: The Veil of Danu Book one

Chains of Stars and Vines (28)

ROWANS'S POINT OF VIEW

That night, as I lay beside the fire, I couldn't escape the uncomfortable warmth that radiated from Kael's body, just inches behind mine. The fire crackled in front of us, a comforting presence in the cold, but I couldn't stop the confusion swirling in my mind. I turned onto my side, pulling my thin cloak a little tighter around me, but I couldn't shake the heat of his presence, or the weight of everything that had happened.

It was the longest conversation I had had with him since we met. Kael was a man of few words, and yet, tonight, he had shared more than I expected. His voice had been quieter than usual, a touch less guarded. He hadn't given much away, but enough for me to piece together some things about his life. His past. His service to a King who had stripped him of his name, his humanity, and given him a cruel label instead—a Beast. I had no love for this King. He sounded like a monster, a tyrant who cared nothing for the lives he destroyed in his pursuit of some unknown goal.

The warmth of Kael against my back felt... contradictory. He was the one who had taken me—no, captured me—against my will. And yet, here he was, patient and kind, something I hadn't expected from the beastly creature I had feared in the beginning. But that same kindness, that strange attention he had begun showing me, was starting to confuse me. I was supposed to hate him, wasn't I? He was a prisoner of the King, but that didn't absolve him of the things he had done. I couldn't forget the destruction he had caused, the village I had loved, the cityhe had helped to burn. It was hard to reconcile that Kael with the man lying next to me now.

I closed my eyes, my thoughts racing.

He had served a tyrant. That was clear. Everything I had heard painted a picture of a King who cared nothing for anyone but himself. But then I thought back to the conversation Kael had had with Ahren. Whatever it was this King was after, he was willing to burn entire worlds—entire realms—to get it. The human world would be nothing but ash in his pursuit, and the thought made my stomach churn.

I couldn't stop the questions from flooding in.

How much of the death, the destruction, the murder, had Kael actually been responsible for? And how much of it had he simply been forced to carry out? Was he truly a monster, or was he simply another pawn in the King's game? The guilt, the violence, did it belong to him—or to the man who controlled him?

I didn't know the answer. I didn't know anything anymore.

The firelight flickered in the distance, casting strange shadows across the forest, and I couldn't help but feel the heavy weight of my own uncertainty. The more kindness Kael showed me, the more my feelings for him twisted in knots. I had been determined to hate him. But the more time I spent with him, the more I saw how hard he was trying to treat me differently. And with each gesture, each small kindness, it became harder and harder to keep my anger, my hatred, alive.

Why was he so different from the monster I had imagined? And why did his kindness hurt more than I expected it to?

I shifted again, trying to find some semblance of comfort.

Kael had no idea what was going on in my head. He never did. But I could feel him there, behind me, just close enough to make my heart beat a little faster, but not close enough to make me feel truly safe. His warmth, his presence, were confusing to my already fractured mind. I couldn't decide if it was a threat or a comfort.

I sighed quietly, letting my body relax against the ground.

Tomorrow, we would continue on, moving closer to the Seelie Court, and I would be forced to deal with whatever this strange connection between Kael and me meant. I had to hold on to my resolve, to remember that I was a prisoner, that I had no choice but to follow him. But the more I thought about everything, the more the lines blurred, and the harder it became to keep my hatred for him in check.