Torn Pieces

6. Dilemma

Ajabde didn't know which side was winning but she knew she held the key to the result of the battle right now. She couldn't let it slip away. Badshah Khan charged at her and Ajabde had to keep defending at first. But she slowly gained the upper hand. She wasn't able to seriously injure him but she was successful in pushing him back by 10 miles. They were now both off their horses and battling with all their might. Ajabde had already kicked his shield out of his hands. Badshah Khan made a strike that was unethical and pulled the shield out of her hands. Instead of using it, he threw it away and caught her hand itself. At that moment, Ajabde could see that he thought he had won. 

"Foolish man, as if I am not going to cut your hand.", she thought. 

In the same flash that Ajabde swung her sword, Kunwar Pratap yelled at Badshah Khan in rage, galloping towards him at double the speed. In the same second that Ajabde's sword severed the last thread of Badshah Khan's wrist, Kunwar Pratap picked up Badshah Khan by his collar and dragged him through the mud. Ajabde called her horse and rode after him, trying to get him to stop. But Kunwar Pratap dragged him through the forests, and back to the battlefield. Badshah Khan was half dead by then. The low-ranking Afghan soldiers dropped their weapons and absconded while his chieftains and commander surrendered. 

"I have said this before and I will say it again. Anybody who tries to look at my motherland and the women in my motherland with a dirty mindset will undergo the same fate at my hands that Badshah Khan has today." While cheers for Kunwar Pratap rang out amongst the army, Ajabde was afraid that he would kill Badshah Khan today.

"Patta, arrest Badshah Khan and take him to Bijolia's jail. Get his first aid done. We need him alive, as was the mission." She said the last part glaring at Kunwar Pratap. He gave permission to go ahead, giving a sheepish look to Ajabde.

It would be an understatement to say that Ajabde was tired. Ajabde was extremely exhausted. The journey back had been relatively silent. For one, they had lesser soldiers as was always the sad case with battles. Second, Patta had gone ahead while Acharyaji had left for his ashram with the Bhils. And third of all, Ajabde had nothing to say to Kunwar Pratap. Having taken care of the lurking danger, she knew which conversation sat on their to-do list in urgency. But she had nothing to offer, and no space to accept. The purpose that she had been fighting for the last 8 months was now complete. Ajabde wanted a break from all of it, a break from the emotional and physical pain. All she wanted now was her bed. 

Kunwar Pratap tried to initiate conversation but she could only reply in hmms and nods. Night had fallen by the time they reached Bijolia palace. She instructed her ministers on medicinal and religious arrangements for the injured and dead; then asked to be left alone. Once she had taken a bath and gotten ready for bed, Ajabde didn't feel sleepy. She felt like visiting her father. Quietly, she made her way through the corridors and to the secure room where he rested. His eyes were closed, but he was breathing deeply. Her father looked so normal like this. He had gotten thin, because they had to force-feed him food and there was stiffness in his limbs due to the lack of exercise. Every morning, Ajabde made her father exercise his limp limbs with the help of the servants. But he laid there, unresponsive and unacknowledging, his eyes blank and distant.

Ajabde felt like if he woke up from his sleep now, he would talk and walk like nothing had happened. In a moment of desperation, Ajabde shook him awake. He opened his eyes but they were still blank and unassuming. Trying not to lose hope, Ajabde began to talk.

"I defeated the Afghans today, Daata. I fought them, chased them out of Bijolia. Kunwar Pratap helped me, Daata. He came back and he saved Bijolia."

Rao Ramrakh's eyes were still uncomprehending but they had fixed on her now. Ajabde took strength from that gesture to continue. 

"For the past eight months, I have been angry, and used it to fuel my energy. I have been angry at everyone who has wronged me and those who have tried to correct me. But when it comes to Kunwar Pratap, I feel more disappointed in him. There is rage and a sense of betrayal. But I know that he will always follow his principles and his duties towards me, and he reinforced that belief today. I cannot accept his apology just because he is a principled man. My blood boils when I think of the ignorance he displayed towards you and Bijolia. I was his culprit, why were all of you punished? Why were all of you given such a harsh sentence for my supposed crime?" Ajabde was shaking now. 

"I might forgive Kunwar Pratap, as the husband who lost trust, who made a mistake but I can never forgive him for the prince who ignored his people, for the warrior who avoided his duties." Ajabde took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. Her father's eyes hadn't moved away for a second. Ajabde started crying. "What sort of problem have I landed myself in? How do I make a decision without being untruthful to myself and to Kunwar Pratap?" Ajabde rested her head on her father's shoulder. She didn't know when she slept off.