Bleeding flowers just for you

Flowers bleeding

"For you, I'll always suffocate. I'll rip out my heart and give it to you if that's what it means to be with you."

Those were the words that Ronin would go by. The feeling in his lungs felt like hell. He wished to rip them out, cut himself open to never feel this pain again. But that isn't possible, that'll never be possible. He is stuck with these flowers growing deep in his lungs, the roots slowly consuming him whole. He doesn't remember how the flowers took their roots, all he could remember were the red petals that painfully took their fall from out of his mouth. The feeling of when a mother could easily kill her baby by simply putting a pillow on its head. That is what it felt like when those petals would fall. That feeling of slowly losing yourself in the feeling that makes you sicken when you look at yourself. The scars were already enough to Ronin's life, the ones on his arms and the two displayed on his chest. To now cough up thin fragile petals with a dollop of blood. Some could say it's a beautiful sight, but for Ronin, that feeling of wishing to sink a knife through his lungs to kill these roots was enough to drive him mad.

Would bleeding for someone you love be romantic? To cough out a bouquet just to never give it to your love. To paint out unspoken "I love you's" across the floor, to yet never having it noticed, to have your love mean too little. For the other to be so selfish. To care so little.

The floor was pretty like this though. Dead and withering. A mess that screams love over and over again.

The feeling of killing yourself without actually trying. The feeling of trying to stay alive is overwhelming, but these roots and flowers are taking their bloom. You're trying to fight it every day as it's tiring trying to stay alive, but the ones that love you need you the most. These roots are killing. A sight to see and be disgusted at.

"Say the word I love you, and this will be over. Say you actually want my heart and these bouquets I made for you."

-

Ronin hated people that would push their beliefs, make up these things that these people call a "sin." Love was never supposed to be a sin, yet here it was. The sin to love the same sex, though Ronin was already a sin. The sin of changing himself. To change for the good, to be the person he meant to be, to have those needles seep through and give him what he was missing. Ronin would always be a sin, hiding himself in these shadows. He doesn't care about their words, but Ronin is the sin he doesn't mind being. The sin that he's happy to be that sin no matter what people tell him.

He blends in just fine, he looks like your normal male, but the scars on his chest will forever say it all, or how his love dies down deep for this person who he truly loves. He doesn't care what they say. This is his life, his own fucking story to tell.

But what even is true love? Is it supposed to be pretty, or is it meant to be deadly? Should you die for the love of your life, trying to protect them, or should you be selfish and try to protect yourself. Maybe love truly is like a flower, possibly only a rose. Everyone loves it, one way or another, but with that rose you have to be gentle with it. Treat it with care. It has its thorns and if you're not careful with it, it will make you bleed. But those roses aren't coming out of Ronin's lungs, the petals are too different. The same color, but must have a different meaning. The petals are too thin to understand, they seem to easily float away whenever they're in his hands. What must these petals mean? Should he have to bleed? To have whatever this in him barge in and claim it lives here, just for him to slowly fade. For it to consume him for what he's worth, all because he deserves this curse.

-

But of course, being a sin already just wasn't enough. Why be one sin when you could be two? Two sins that make Ronin even more deadly.