In A Perfect World

Chapter Nine

"You were wrong," I told Miles, backing away from the red-coloured door. "I can't do this. I know you said I could, but I just can't."

Miles and I were standing outside his front porcch and on the other side, through a door that was only an inch thick, was Liam. He was probably sitting with Jayce, laughing and playing guitar like there was no trouble in the entire world. Then there was me, who was backing away from the door like a cornered animal. If it wasn't for Miles I was sure I'd be halfway down the street, running so fast that I'd be tripping over the laces of my Doc Martens.

"Sweetheart," Miles' voice came drifting into my ear, sounding like he was standing in a different room to me. "You need to calm down. Seeing him again is a good thing, right?"

My hand tightened around the handle to my guitar case. "Good thing?" I questioned, twisting my neck to look up at his face. He was a good foot taller than me but I could still see every detail of that chiselled face. Miles swallowed and backed away slightly, looking very afraid.

"Okay, that sounded bad," he admitted, "but you're seeing your childhood best friend for the first time in years. Don't ruin this for yourself."

"I'm not," I denied, although I probably was.

"Look," Miles sighed, grabbing each of my shoulders and twisting my body to face him. His eyes burned straight into mine and his voice, firm and strong, said, "We'll walk into that room together. You will say hello to him and sit down. Jayce and I will keep the conversation going. You can just sit there and stare at lover-boy, okay?"

"Okay," I nodded, swallowing down the millions excuses I had for not walking through that door. With everything moving slowly like a scene out of a movie, I hitched up my guitar case and let Miles lead me into their house.

I was first met with two things – a table covered in empty beer bottles and music blasting through the home. Despite the nerves, I just had to grin; they were playing Queen. I snuck a look at Miles but his back was turned towards me, so I eyed off the glass bottles overflowing their dining table instead. Frowning, I kicked one away from my feet and shuffled around the chairs.

Grubs.

"Yo, dickheads!" Miles shouted over the top of the music. "I thought I told you to get rid of the trash!" I rushed after him, not wanting to be left too far behind. We moved through their tiny kitchen and towards the living room, where the source of the music was.

Jayce's voice came booming back. "Yeah, asshole, we did. We got rid of your crusty ass."

My laugh fell short as soon as I heard Liam's chuckle come from the around the corner. Miles, sensing my anxiety, placed his hand at the bottom of my back and mouthed, "You can do this." I nodded, inhaled a deep breath, and took a step around the corner

There are many moments in your life that you will always remember, that will replay in the back of your mind like some broken record player you just can't throw out. For me, some of these moments include the first time my father ever lifted a hand on me. Or the first time Liam told me he loved me.

But there was also the time when we were only sixteen and I'd walked into that silly garage band room of his to find him lying on the sofa on his back, with his guitar on top of his stomach and picking random chords that were totally improvised but still managed to sound good. His hair had been messy and his eyes were bright. I remembered how he gave me this look that made my heart skip a thousand beats. His lips twitched into a tiny smile and a dimple appeared on his left cheek. Then he sat up, put down the guitar, and asked me to sit with him.

When I walked into their living room nearly five years past that memory I was met with nearly the exact same picture. Liam, sprawled on his back, was wearing a red and white flannel shirt I'm sure his mother would scowl at. He looked exactly the same as always, even with that same black guitar he'd bought for his early seventeenth birthday present lying on top of his stomach. But there were a few differences too, like how his hair was slightly shorter – but just as curly – and how he looked so much sharper than I'd imagined. Apparently Liam had been working out since the last time we'd been together.