The Siege of Shadows: Book one

Fragile Bonds (36)

ROWAN'S POINT OF VIEW

The king's drinking party dragged on, the air heavy with the bitter tang of wine and the incessant hum of drunken chatter. I sat at Kael's feet, my cheek pressed to my knees, trying to make myself as small as possible. The sting of humiliation from earlier clung to me like a second skin, but the weight of exhaustion dulled its edge. I felt too drained to keep my guard up, though the low buzz of laughter and lewd remarks from the courtiers kept pricking at my nerves.

I stared at the floor, trying to block it all out, but my body betrayed me. My eyelids grew heavier with every passing moment, and I fought against the pull of sleep. I couldn't afford to show weakness—not here, not in front of them. But my muscles ached, and my mind felt like it was wading through fog.

My body swayed slightly, and before I could catch myself, Kael's hand shot out, steadying me with a firm but careful grip.

"Rest," he said, his voice so soft it barely cut through the noise around us.

I blinked up at him, startled by the gentleness in his tone. His expression was unreadable behind the edge of his helmet, but his touch was steady and unthreatening. Slowly, he shifted in his chair, pulling me closer with a fluidity that didn't draw attention from the courtiers.

I stiffened as his hand guided my head toward his leg, unsure of what he wanted or why. Every instinct screamed at me to pull away, but I was too tired, too spent, and too confused by his calm. The warmth of his body against my cheek caught me off guard, and his fingers brushed lightly through my hair—so subtly it almost didn't register.

At first, I kept myself rigid, waiting for some cruel twist, but it didn't come. His hand continued its slow, rhythmic motion, lulling me despite myself. The soft scrape of his glove against my scalp was almost... soothing. Against my will, the tension in my body ebbed away, leaving only exhaustion in its place.

Before I realized it, my eyes slipped shut, and the sounds of the party faded into a distant murmur. For the first time in what felt like forever, I allowed myself to drift.

The room was quiet by the time I stirred, caught in that strange place between sleep and waking. Everything felt distant and slow, my thoughts hazy and unfocused. I noticed movement, the steady, rhythmic sway of someone walking, and then the solid warmth of arms holding me close.

Kael.

I could feel his strength in the way he carried me, his grip firm but careful, as though he thought I might break. My head lolled against him, my cheek brushing the cool metal of his armor at his shoulder, while my body rested against the warmth of his bare chest. The faint scent of pine and smoke clung to him, clean and earthy, a welcome change from the heavy perfumes of the court.

His hand moved, threading through my hair with a softness that sent an unexpected shiver down my spine. Slowly, his fingers trailed down the curve of my back, the motion deliberate and calming. I felt the steady rise and fall of his chest as he sighed, and then his voice—low, rough, and filled with something I couldn't quite place—broke the silence.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, so softly I almost thought I imagined it. "I never meant for this to happen."

My heart gave a small, unexpected jolt at the rawness in his tone. I stayed still, not wanting him to know I was awake, curious to hear more.

"I shouldn't have brought you here," he continued, his arms tightening around me just a little. "You don't belong in a place like this... with people like them."

His voice cracked, the weight of his regret cutting through every word. "I've done nothing but make things worse for you." His hand stilled on my back for a moment before resuming its slow, soothing strokes. "I—" He exhaled sharply, his words faltering into silence.