The Siege of Shadows: Book one

The Weight of Fear (38) *

I was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the book Kael had left me the night before. It was one of those thick, leather-bound volumes with gold lettering on the spine, but every time I tried to open it, the words blurred together. My thoughts kept drifting back to the human world—the world I'd lost. The life I used to know.

The door creaked open softly, and I glanced up just as Kael entered. He was holding a tray in one hand and a book in the other. Without a word, he set both on the bed in front of me, the scent of fresh bread and roasted meat filling the air.

"I thought you might like something to eat," he said, setting the food down. His voice was softer than I expected, but it still carried that same edge of wariness I was becoming familiar with.

I nodded, though I didn't reach for the food right away. The book caught my eye again, and I leaned forward slightly, picking it up. It had the weight of something important, but I didn't have the energy to focus on it.

Kael sat down at the foot of the bed, his eyes lingering on the book in my hands. "How are you holding up?" he asked, his tone less guarded than usual.

The question threw me off guard. The only thing I ever expected from him was control—distance. But now, there was something more, something human. I didn't know if it was pity or curiosity, but it felt... unexpected.

I shrugged, placing the book back down. "I'm managing," I said quietly. I didn't feel like talking about how I really felt—not yet. My emotions were a mess, swirling inside me like a storm I couldn't outrun. Instead, I picked at the food, a little unsure of how to continue.

"You've been quiet," he remarked, his voice barely above a murmur. "Tell me about your life... before all this. Before you ended up here."

I paused. The question was simple, but it felt like the weight of everything I had left behind was pressing against me. The world I used to know felt so far away, like it belonged to someone else.

"I was a park ranger," I said after a long moment, my voice soft as I spoke about the human world, the only world I knew before this one. "In the Smokey Mountains of Tennessee. I worked in the national park, patrolling the land, making sure people were safe, making sure the animals were safe."

Kael looked at me curiously, as though trying to imagine it. "A ranger?" he asked. "What's that exactly?"

I met his eyes for the first time, really seeing him, and tried to explain. "I worked with nature. Forests, animals, the land. No magic. No Fae. Just... peace, you know? There's no magic in Tennessee. It's just trees and rivers and animals. I made sure people followed the rules. That was my job—keeping people safe from the wildlife, making sure no one got lost or hurt. It's a quiet life."

He didn't respond immediately, but I saw the way he was looking at me now. Like he was seeing a side of me he hadn't known existed. I didn't think Kael could fully grasp what I was saying. The life I'd had felt so alien to this world.

I continued, even though it hurt to talk about it. "I had a dog, too. A collie named Nox. He was... well, he was everything. Loyal, protective. He stayed with me through all of it. Through the long nights in the mountains. Through everything."

Kael's gaze softened slightly, but he didn't speak. He let me continue, and for a moment, it felt like I wasn't trapped in a strange world of magic and monsters.

"It wasn't perfect, of course. But it was simple. It was real. A lot different than..." I trailed off, not sure how to explain the vast, dark world around me now. "This."

There was a long pause. Kael didn't seem to know how to respond either, so he just let the silence stretch between us. Finally, he shifted slightly, his shoulders stiffening. "I've never known a world without magic," he said quietly, almost to himself.