The Go Rockin' Chronicles

Variety, the spice of life

It was a cold dark night in 7/11 and our friend Rablosh had the honour of working. now Rablosh didn't really mind this at all, as it gave him some privacy that his parents rarely gave him. These late shifts very rarely had customers, and was mostly just to keep up with the 24 hour policies of the rival service stations.

A few hours into the night, still without one customer, our friend got a little bored, and saw some magazines near the spam and tinned tomatoes and felt a little tingly inside. Now Rablosh had never done anything like this before, it was forbidden in his house. However, Rablosh was not in his house, he was all alone. So "why not" he thought.

He grabbed a canister of dove moisturiser, and one of the magazines, undid his 7 Eleven-issued belt, pulled off his 7 Eleven-issued pants and pulled out his throbbing penis. Which was of course, either 7 or 11 inches long (that's for you to decide) and started going at it, jerking it all over the place. This was fun he thought, but could be better.

Rablosh then looked over to the slurpee machine in the corner and had an idea.

Rablosh trudged over to the slurpee machine and poured himself a Kool-Kola™ flavoured Slurpee. Rablosh stuck his little plane into the icy cold slurpee "what a chill" he thought. But alas, this could still be better. Over the other side of the store he saw a jar of spicy hot chili sauce. "Perfect" he thought. He grabbed the jar and turned the lid and proceeded to insert his member in to the deep red sauce.

The spicy hotness of the chili sauce perfectly countered the cold chill of the Slurpee. "What a tale of two extremes" he thought. He swapped jars every few seconds to keep it exciting, whilst he stared longingly at the magazine.

But then, as he was extracting his person from the slurpee cup, the sharp plastic of the Slurpee cuo left a cut. In the heat of the moment, he didn't notice this cut, until he inserted his willy into the chili sauce jar.

The open wound was filled with the salty, peppery, spicy sauce and it burned like the twin towers. "Great ganesh" our good friend yelled, whilst he hobbled over to the slurpee machine, looking for a solution. He turned the lever on the macine and the slurpee poured at full speed, cooling his wound. He however, required more satisfaction from the cut and inserted his penis straight in the machine.

The inner canals of that machine tickled him just the right way, it was the best thing he'd ever felt and at that very moment, he ejaculated. For the very first time.

Also at this very moment, a customer entered the store, looking for a late night snack too conquer their muchies. What did the customer see, as the entered the store? A porno mag on the bench, a smashed jar of chili sauce next to a Slurpee cup on the floor, and an Indian man with his penis in a slurpee machine having an orgasm.

And that my good friends, is the tale of first experiences, which our friend Rablosh had a lot of on that day. He cut his penis for the first time, masturbated for the first time, ejaculated for the first time, orgasmed for the first time, got caught orgasming for the first time and went to jail for the first time.