The Delivery Girl

25. Pragmatic

Callen

I feel like a huge asshole. Julie is standing there, on the verge of tears, but I can't give her what she wants.

Is this even what she wants?

I want to tell her that she's wrong – that I care about her deeply, more than I have about any other girl in a long time. But she's just asking for an out. She wants things to go back to the way they once were. I'm sure she hates this wall we've put up between ourselves as much as I do.

"Please," she whispers. "Just say it."

I grit my teeth at the heavy, sinking feeling in my chest. The guilt of causing her pain is torturous – the last thing I was to do right now is hurt her further. I slowly walk over to Julie. Her eyes flicker to the floor but she doesn't move.

I use a bent finger under her chin to tilt her face up towards me. Her round eyes are soft and glassy. "Is that really what you want?" I mutter, my voice slow and rough.

"I..." She chews on her lip. I'm suddenly reminded of the feeling of those soft lips against mine.

"Julie?" I say gently.

She closes her eyes and shakes her head. "It isn't. I know it's not a sustainable option if I can't ignore my feelings."

"I feel the same."

She sighs. "But we both know how complicated starting a relationship would be."

"I do, but I also couldn't care less," I say firmly. "I'm willing to work things out."

Julie's eyes are warm and gentle as she looks at me. "Really?"

"Of course," I say. "The last week's been killing me. I can't lose you, Julie." It's been miserable, tip toeing around each other. I tried to put what I thought would be an appropriate distance between us, but it just fucking sucks. I was worried that she was planning to quit.

She smiles and buries herself into my arms. She's soft and warm and smells faintly sweet. The discomfort in my chest fades away, replaced with a lightness I haven't felt in a long time.

"I've missed your smile," I mumble into her temple.

She chuckles as she pulls away. "Yours too."

Her eyes practically sparkle as she looks up at me. She wraps her arms around my shoulders and stands up on her toes to place a tender kiss against my lips.

She giggles as I pull her closer, not ready to let her go. I deepen the kiss and she immediately melts into my arms. It's slow and soft and gentle, nothing like the frenzied, frantic kiss that night.

My phone suddenly starts ringing. I curse under my breath as we reluctantly pull apart. "Oh shit... I actually do really need to get going," I say sheepishly after glancing at my phone. "I was supposed to be at the airport to pick someone up half an hour ago."

Eliza is not going to be happy.

She laughs. "No problem. We can talk about this tomorrow? My first class is at eight thirty."

"Let's meet at the cafe by the bookstore at eight."

–

I spot Julie sitting by the window as soon as I step in. The cafe is nearly empty, only having opened half an hour ago. She's working on her laptop with a small cup of coffee next to her.

She looks a little different from how I'm used to seeing her. She's wearing a Steveson University branded hoodie and ripped jeans. Her hair is untied and wavy, and she isn't wearing makeup.