"Go on, I'm listening." Her voice sharp and clear, eyes teary yet fierce as she faced him.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled, his head hanging low in guilt and remorse.
"Head hung low, eyes not having the courage to meet mine and a weak apology. This is definitely not what I anticipated when I decided to you face you." Shilpi remarked with a bitter chuckle.
"If you have nothing more to say, I'd ask you to allow me the space I need right now." Her voice stern yet again.
"No. Please listen to me." Dhrubo implored.
"I've heard enough apologies, I'd only listen if you've anything more to say." Shilpi snapped.
"I am a Swadeshi". He confessed only to earn a loud gasp from Shilpi.
"You're what?" A sudden urgency lingered in her voice as Shilpi stood up.
"Yes, I'm an author who writes article and booklets for our patriotic political party. Do you recall when I used to ask you whether you'll hate me if I become one of the Swadeshis?" Dhrubo continued, flashing a void chuckle.
"Although your replies were always a 'no', but now I think I have successfully made you hate me, despise me." He trailed off looking away, tears threatening to escape.
Instead of anymore sharp words from her, he felt a familiar warmth around him, the one he has been craving for the longest of times. Those unshed tears finally escaped, as he reciprocated the warmth he received.
She had wrapped her hands around him, her head resting on his chest while her eyes brimming with tears. Oh how bad did she want this. This action might just make her look like the most desperate, dissolute and perverted woman but she didn't care. That very moment, nothing mattered to her. It felt as if the world didn't exist, just him and her.
Dhrubojyoti caressed her as she kept trembling with tears in his embrace, squeezing him tighter every moment. His Punjabi (a piece of clothing) moistened with her tears but it never mattered to him. It was paradise to Dhrubo. Just melting and breaking down in each other's embrace. After all it has been almost half a decade they met.
"Dhrubo.." Shilpi called between her tears, her hands still wrapped around him.
"Mhm" Dhrubojyoti hummed in response as he held her shoulders.
"Why did you leave me?" She asked finally, facing him.
He smiled, thoroughly aware how this would be the very first question she'd ask him. He felt the heaviness in his heart slowly subside while he prepared himself to answer her.
"I was a bloody escapist, Shilpi-" That was the very moment his lips were met with the feathery soft touch of her, trying to prevent him from speaking further.
"You know, you can explain me your reason without cursing yourself. I don't need an apologetic self depreciating explanation from you but a true answer to my question." Shilpi stated, her eyes meeting his with a soft yet demanding gaze.
Words failed to explain what Dhrubojyoti felt that moment. A familiar spark igniting in his heart but with doubled intensity, just like it used to do when his teenage heart had just fallen for the woman standing in front of him.
"I want to see our country independent, Shilpi. I don't want those White invaders to impose their treacherous rules over us. Our nation has its riches, cultures, traditions and history like no other, I want to live with those, I don't want some foreigners to order us around like some mutt and make us forget our roots. That is the reason I wanted to help the Swadeshis. I wanted to contribute as much as I can for my nation. So I fled that night. I met a few of them just a few days ere my flight and they encouraged me to fulfill my wish by helping them. Right now I write articles, poems and stories for them to educate more people to help us in this movement. I couldn't inform anyone. I left a letter for my family members. But.." He trailed off looking away from her.
"But you couldn't for me. I understand. We were just acquaintances, how could I possibly so important for you that you'd inform me seperately. Thank you for informing me now, I appreciate it. Also I'm proud that you've engaged yourself in such a praiseworthy task, I'm happy that you could get the opportunity to serve the country. If you require any assistance from me, I'll always be there.... I guess we part our ways now. Your family members must be anticipating your homecoming." Shilpi finished with a stoic grin as she distanced herself from him.
"They don't know I've come back." He replied still looking away, unable to form words to pacify her.
"Then they would be delighted to see you back after so many years, go surprise them." She said, even a wider smile this time still maintaining her composure.
Dhrubojyoti could well aware understand how hurt Shilpi was but he wasn't ready. He wasn't ready for her yet. Although he has realised and accepted his feelings for her, confession still remained as a far fetched dream for him to achieve. He did not want Shilpi to feel anything by guilt tripping her or by feeling any pity towards him. Although the pain was evident, he couldn't give in yet. He had to take it slow, for her.
Reciprocating the same pseudo smile, Dhrubo left only after murmuring an almost inaudible sorry. The room was empty now. Shilpi was all to herself now. Sensing nobody around, Shilpi quickly locked the door as she finally broke down.
Her back was pressed against the hard wooden door while her whole body had curled up into a fetal position as she rocked back and forth between her heavy breathless sobs. Looking at the burns on her limbs she wondered, what sins she must have done in her previous life to deserve this.
She had to go through every pain a woman or rather a human being would be afraid of. How will she manage to survive as a widow who was supposed to be a Sati? How will she face the villagers when they accuse her of defying a holy practice? All these thoughts struck her like a lightning thunder.
While her mind was all over the place, a sudden image of a person flashed in front her. Dhrubo. The man who she had been blaming all these years for her misery. The man who betrayed her, the one whose memory strangely soothed her heart but pained her mind. But what was his mistake? She wonders.
Maybe Dhrubo never recognised her the way she did, maybe she was never anything more than a mere acquaintance or companion to him. Also how is he even responsible for her misery? He couldn't have done anything to stop the marriage even if he stayed in the village. She smiled bitterly thinking about how deluded she was all these days. Blaming someone else for her sufferings because its easier and convenient. She was being nothing but miserable.
Just then she heard a knock her at her door. Wiping away her tears, she quickly composed herself as she stood up to open the door.
"Aishani?" She called, knitting her brows in confusion as she looked at the younger woman standing nervously fidgeting with her fingers.
YOU ARE READING
Butterflies
Romance"Go away. There was nothing between us." Tears brimming her eyes as her lips quivered in anguish and fear. Fear of losing someone whom she had been trying to hold onto. Tragedy was slowly creeping in her life yet again. He stood there silently, a...
