Breaking Pattern

Fractures in the Mask

Maya sat in the library after school, her notebook open but untouched. Pages of notes lay scattered around her, but her pen remained still in her hand. Usually, this was her sanctuary, the quiet space where she could focus on her assignments, block out the noise of the world, and maintain her relentless march toward perfection. Today, though, she couldn't concentrate.

Alex's words echoed in her mind.
"It didn't seem like you were really there. It was like you were doing it for someone else, not for yourself."

Her first instinct had been to dismiss him. What did he know about her life? About what it took to be successful? But the more she tried to shake it off, the more the words lingered, as if they'd lodged themselves in a part of her brain she couldn't silence.

"Ugh," she muttered, leaning back in her chair and rubbing her temples.

"Talking to yourself now?" Chloe's voice broke through her thoughts, and Maya looked up to see her friend standing at the edge of the table, her usual bright grin plastered across her face.

"Hey," Maya said weakly, gesturing for Chloe to sit.

Chloe plopped down across from her, dropping her bag onto the table with a loud thud. "What's with the gloom? You nailed that presentation today. As usual."

Maya forced a smile. "Yeah, thanks."

Chloe frowned, leaning forward. "Okay, what's wrong? Don't tell me it's that idiot Alex. I saw him talking to you after class. Did he say something stupid?"

Maya hesitated. "Not stupid. Just... weird."

Chloe snorted. "Of course, it was weird. He's weird. What did he say?"

Maya tapped her pen against her notebook, debating whether to tell Chloe the truth. She finally settled on a vague version. "He said it looked like I was just reading from a script. Like I wasn't really into it."

Chloe rolled her eyes. "Classic Alex. He probably thinks everyone should be as miserable as he looks all the time. Don't let it get to you. He doesn't matter."

But Maya wasn't so sure. She didn't know why, but Alex's comment felt different. It wasn't criticism for the sake of it—it was like he'd seen something in her that even she hadn't noticed.

After Chloe left, Maya tried to focus again, but her thoughts kept spiraling. She thought about her parents and how proud they'd been when she told them about the presentation last night. Her mother had smiled that satisfied smile she always wore when Maya achieved something. Her dad had nodded approvingly.

But there hadn't been any real conversation. Just the usual routine: praise for her success, an implicit reminder to keep it up, and a quick pivot to discussing her next big challenge.

Did they even know how much pressure she felt?

She closed her notebook and shoved it into her bag, deciding to head home early.

As Maya walked through the quiet streets toward her house, she noticed someone sitting on the low wall outside the park. It took her a moment to realise it was Alex. His sketchpad rested on his lap, and he was drawing something with quick, deliberate strokes.

Her first instinct was to keep walking, but something made her pause. Maybe it was curiosity. Maybe it was the lingering frustration from his comment.

Before she could overthink it, she found herself walking over to him.

"Hey," she said.

Alex looked up, surprised but not startled. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" she asked, nodding toward the sketchpad.

"Drawing," he said simply, his tone neutral.

Maya shifted awkwardly. "What are you drawing?"

He held up the sketchpad. It was a pencil sketch of the park in front of them, but it wasn't just a copy of what was there. Alex had drawn the scene with small, surreal twists—trees bending at odd angles, shadows that stretched into shapes that didn't exist in real life.

"Wow," Maya said before she could stop herself.

Alex raised an eyebrow. "Wow, good? Or wow, weird?"

"Good," she said quickly. "Definitely good."

He tilted his head, studying her for a moment. "You don't have to say that, you know. I'm not looking for approval."

Maya frowned. "I wasn't... I mean, I really think it's good."

Alex gave a small shrug, his attention returning to the sketch. "If you say so."

Maya hesitated, unsure why she was still standing there. Finally, she said, "About what you said earlier... after class."

Alex glanced up again, his pencil pausing mid-stroke. "What about it?"

"Why did you say that?"

"Because it's true," he said simply. "You're really good at what you do, but it doesn't seem like you care about any of it."

"I care," Maya said defensively.

"Do you?" Alex asked, his tone calm but pointed.

Maya opened her mouth to argue, but no words came out. The question hung in the air between them, unsettling in its simplicity.

"I have to go," she said abruptly, turning on her heel and walking away.

"See you around, Maya," Alex called after her, his voice carrying an edge of amusement.

Back at home, Maya threw her bag onto her bed and collapsed into the chair by her desk. Her laptop screen stared back at her, the blank document waiting for her to start her next assignment.

But all she could think about was Alex's question. Do you care?

She stared at the screen for a long time, her thoughts racing but never landing. For the first time in a long while, Maya didn't know the answer.