Finding Us (Christian Interracial Romance)

Letting Go

Cecilia 

The weight of Athena's message still lingers in my mind as I press play on the recording. I glance at my cousins—Misty, Reagan, and Lizzy—who sit sprawled around my room in my apartment. Misty leans forward, her hands steepled like she's preparing to negotiate a truce in a war-zone. Reagan's arms are crossed tightly, her sharp features set in a permanent scowl. Lizzy, stretched out on my bed like she's at a sleepover, pops a sour gummy worm into her mouth, though her brows knit together with concern.

Jeremy's voice cuts through the room like a blade.

"No, what's complicated is that you lied to me. You made up stories about my sister, about Cecilia, all to cover up your insecurities. And now you want me to protect your reputation? You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Reagan sucks in a sharp breath, her fists clenching. "Oh, I don't like him. I really don't like him," she mutters, even though we all know she's directing her anger at Hannah.

Jeremy's voice shakes with anger, but the conviction in it is unmistakable. It's raw, unfiltered, and—dare I say it?—honest.

"You destroyed my relationship with Athena and Cecilia because of your bullshit. Do you have any idea what you've done to me? To them? Hannah," Jeremy says, his voice trembling. "You are the most manipulative, soulless person I have ever met. I'm not signing your bullshit NDA. I don't care about your secrets. I don't care about your family. You deserve whatever's coming to you."

Lizzy whistles low and long. "Well, damn. He's not holding back. Took him long enough."

Hannah's voice slithers out next. "You don't know what you're saying. If you don't sign, I'll make sure—"

"I don't fucking care what you do," Jeremy snaps. "Get the fuck out of my house. And out of my life."

Silence.

I pause the recording, letting the last echoes of Jeremy's words settle. My chest feels tight, my emotions a tangle of hurt, vindication, and an ache I can't quite name.

"Well," Misty says, her tone cautious, "that was...something."

Reagan pushes off the bed and starts pacing. "Something? That was infuriating. Four years, Cecilia! Four years of him believing her lies. He just now found his spine?"

Lizzy leans back, her arms crossed. "Look, I'm not saying he doesn't deserve a reality check, but that's some Grade-A accountability right there. It takes guts to own up to how badly you screwed up."

"I don't give a flying fuck about his guts," Reagan snaps. "He hurt you, Ceci. Badly. You don't have to forgive him just because he suddenly remembered how to tell the truth."

I fiddle with the edge of my comforter, my thoughts swirling. "It's not about him," I say finally, my voice quiet but firm. "It's about me."

"You're speaking the truth from Phyllis Hyman," Lizzy places her hand over her heart dramatically.

Misty tilts her head. "How so?"

"I talked to Mami earlier. And Aunt Sharon. And Aunt Lucille...all of them, really," I admit, laughing softly. "They all said the same thing: holding on to this anger is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to get sick."

Lizzy snorts. "Classic Aunt Mariam wisdom. She's got a point, though."

"I've spent so much time resenting Jeremy, hating him for what he believed, for what he did. But the truth is..." I pause, swallowing hard. "The truth is, I don't want to carry that anymore. I want to let it go. For me."

The room goes quiet. Reagan stops pacing, her face softening.

"I get that," she says reluctantly. "But letting it go doesn't mean you have to let him back in."

"I know," I say. "But it's a start. And forgiving him doesn't mean forgetting what happened. It just means I'm choosing to move forward."

Lizzy grins, her playful side re-emerging. "Girl, look at you. Dropping wisdom bombs like you're the Dalai Lama or something."

"Shut up," I say, laughing despite myself. "We're Christians, not Buddhists." 

"Okay, but real talk," Misty cuts in, her expression serious. "Have you talked to him yet?"

"Nah, not yet," I shake my head. "But I'm going to."

I hold up my phone, showing them the message I just sent.

Me: Can we talk? Griffith Park. Tomorrow at 2 PM.

"He actually agreed," I say, still a little surprised. "Said he'd meet me there."

Reagan crosses her arms. "And what if he screws it up again? What if he doesn't take responsibility?"

"Then that's on him," I reply. "But I have to try. For my own peace of mind."

Lizzy claps her hands. "Well, if he messes up, Reagan and I can always go full Mortal Kombat on him. Just say the word."

"Noted," I say, rolling my eyes. "But let's hope it doesn't come to that."

I'm glad Athena sent me the recorded audio of Jeremy washing his hands of his ex-girlfriend because he finally opens his eyes to see watch a manipulative person she really is after she had brainwashed him with these audacious lies about me and Athena for four years. And I'm proud of Athena for forgiving Jeremy as brother and sister as well. 

I'm ready to forgive. And I'm ready to let go like the leaf slipping between my fingers and dance in the wind.

I'm ready.