SCARRED HEARTS

CHAPTER 18: OPEN

The walk back to her apartment felt like it took forever, but the weight of the envelope was heavy in Lila's hands, dragging her thoughts into a place she wasn't sure she wanted to go. Every step felt like a battle, as if the world was conspiring to remind her of everything she had locked away for so long.

Sebastian had walked her all the way back, but when they reached her door, he had stopped just short of following her inside. His eyes, intense and unwavering, had been glued to her the entire walk. He hadn't said anything. He hadn't needed to.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he had asked at the door, his voice gentle, like he was afraid of pushing her too hard.

Lila had looked at the envelope in her hand. Her heart pounded at the thought of reading it, but a deeper, more fearful part of her wanted to rip it apart and forget it ever existed. But it wasn't that simple.

"I'll... I'll think about it," Lila had said, her voice barely audible. She didn't know if she was answering him or herself.

Sebastian had hesitated for a long moment, his eyes searching hers. She could see the concern etched on his face, but he said nothing more. He gave her a small, almost reluctant nod before turning to leave.

"I'll be here when you're ready," he had said, his voice like a whisper in the air between them.

And then, he had walked away, disappearing into the hallway.

Lila hadn't gone inside immediately. She stood there for a while, staring at the door, her heart racing. She wasn't ready to face that letter. She wasn't ready to let it all spill out.

But the longer she stood there, the more she realized that she couldn't avoid it forever.

With a shaky breath, she entered her apartment, the quiet sound of her footsteps echoing in the hallway. Her apartment felt strangely empty, almost too quiet.

The envelope was still in her hand, the edges worn from her grip. It felt almost like a living thing—heavy, oppressive, like it was demanding her attention. She placed it on the kitchen counter, her eyes tracing the delicate handwriting on the front, a part of her already knowing what was inside.

For a long moment, Lila simply stood there, staring at the letter. The years of silence, the years of pain, it was all contained in that small, seemingly insignificant piece of paper. She could hear Sebastian's words in her head, the quiet, persistent reminder that she didn't have to face it alone.

But I do, she thought bitterly. I've always had to face things alone.

Her breath hitched, and she closed her eyes. The words inside that envelope held the power to destroy everything she had fought to bury. They had the power to change her entire life again, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to give them that kind of power.

Her hands trembled as she reached for the envelope.

She stared at the letter for a few more seconds before pulling it open. Inside was a single sheet of paper, neatly folded. The handwriting was familiar, too familiar. It was her mother's.

Lila unfolded the paper slowly, her heart thudding in her chest as she began to read the words.

"Lila," the letter began. "I know you probably hate me right now, and I can't blame you for it. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I need you to understand something. I never meant to hurt you. I know the scars I left on you run deeper than I could ever explain, but I want you to know the truth, the real truth, about why I left."

Lila's chest tightened as she continued reading.

"I left because I was terrified, Lila. Terrified of what I had become. I thought leaving would protect you, that it would make everything better for you, but I see now how wrong I was. I was selfish, and I hurt you in ways I can't take back. I've spent years trying to fix the damage I did, but I can never make it right."

Her eyes blurred with tears, but she blinked them away, refusing to let them fall. She didn't know what she had expected, but this—this wasn't it. Her mother had never once admitted to being wrong before. Never once said she had made a mistake.

"I don't expect you to believe me, and I don't expect you to want anything to do with me. But I'm asking for one thing, Lila. Please, for your own sake, forgive me. Not for me, but for you. You've carried this weight for so long, and I don't want you to keep carrying it alone. I won't ask for your forgiveness, but I hope that one day, you'll find it in your heart to give it."

Lila's vision swam as she read the last words. Her mother's words, filled with regret and an emotion that Lila had never imagined her capable of.

"I love you, Lila. I always have."

The paper slipped from her fingers, falling to the counter as the air around her grew thick with emotion. She didn't know how to process what she had just read. There were too many conflicting feelings rushing through her—anger, sorrow, disbelief, and, strangely, a sense of relief.

She wanted to scream, to throw the letter away and forget it ever existed. But deep down, she knew she couldn't. She couldn't keep running from the truth.

Lila took a shaky breath, her hand gripping the edge of the counter.

I've carried this burden for too long, she thought. But am I really ready to let it go?

Her mind immediately drifted to Sebastian—his constant presence, his unwavering patience. He had been there for her in ways no one ever had. And despite everything, despite the walls she had built around herself, a part of her wondered if maybe she had to let someone in.

A small, quiet voice in the back of her mind whispered the question that she had avoided for so long:

Can I finally forgive her? Can I finally forgive myself?

The thought made her heart ache, but it also gave her a sense of something she hadn't allowed herself to feel in years—hope.

The doorbell rang, pulling her out of her thoughts. Her pulse quickened, and she quickly wiped the stray tear from her cheek before walking to the door.

She opened it, and there stood Sebastian. His eyes softened as they met hers, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. But the look on his face told her everything. He had known she'd be struggling, and he was here—just like he promised.

He didn't say anything at first, just stepped inside and gently closed the door behind him.

And for the first time in a long time, Lila didn't feel so alone.

"I... I read it," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I don't know what to do with it."

Sebastian didn't need any more words. He stepped closer, and without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her. She didn't pull away this time. Instead, she allowed herself to lean into him, her body shaking as the dam she had built for so long began to crack, letting all of the emotions she had been holding inside flood to the surface.

He didn't say anything. He just held her, steady and strong, letting her feel what she needed to feel. And in that moment, Lila realized that maybe, just maybe, she could finally begin to let go.