Why Do I Care So Much?

Why do I even care about this guy? He’s a teacher, I’m a student. We should keep it that way but he was the one who wouldn’t let it go. So it should be his problem; he slept with a student so he should be the adult. But then I would be the one getting jealous or doing something to get a rise out of him and then it was both of us caring. We both cared. But why does he care? I’m just a me. Why am I so important?

There I was, in his classroom, him standing in front of me while I’m sitting at my desk, my head down while fumbling with my fingers: neither one of us saying a word. It was after school, his class the last of the day. I was interrupting class, talking to Sarah about a rumor that involved Mr. Styles, and after the fourth time telling us to quiet down, he finally punished us, or me, really. He crossed his arms across his broad chest, waiting for me to say something. But I wasn’t going to. A few more minutes passed, and then he sighed and walked toward the door and locked it. I tensed up. Crap... 

He came back and pulled a chair out, turning it around so it was on the other side of my desk in front of me. I was thankful for this two student desk; it was the only thing between Mr. Styles and me. He sat down, putting his hands on the desk right next to mine, careful not to touch my hands, or maybe he didn't know how I would react to it...

“Y/N… talk to me.”

No.

“Y/N, we need to talk about why you’re here.”

You gave me a detention for continuing to talk after you repeatedly told me not to.

“Y/N!” He slammed his hands down on the table, causing me to flinch and then he grabbed toward my hands but I pulled them back, setting them in my lap.

I finally looked at him and asked, “Can I go now?”

He sat back against the chair, looking at me, “No.”

I looked away and said, “I’m sorry for disrupting class, okay?”

“Okay… but this isn’t about you disrupting class right now. You look upset.”

I shook my head, shrugging, “I’m not.”

He leaned forward, reaching out to cup my face in one of his large hands. He made me look at him and he said, “You sure?”

“Sarah heard something about you today.”

His face twisted in confusion, “What?”

“She said that you are engaged to someone back from your home town.”

“Y/N-”

“I’m not finished.”

I grabbed his hand that was caressing my face in mine and held it on the table, sighing as I continued,

“I told Sarah that that couldn’t be possible, because you know, we talk. But she said that you were talking on the phone before class.”

“Y/N… I promise you, it’s just a misunderstanding. You’ll find out the truth soon. But you’ll ruin the surprise.”

“What?”

“Just… drop it? For now?” He looked at me with pleading eyes.

I shrugged, wanting to stop talking about it anyway. He squeezed my hand carefully and said, “You know about my last relationship.”

“I know. That’s why I didn’t believe it.”

“So why are you acting like this?”

“I care… about you. And I never have before.”

“I care about you too.” He brought my hand up to his mouth, kissing my knuckles. He stood up and walked around to the chair next to me and sat down.

“You okay now?” He asked as leaned closer.

I turned my head, and we touched foreheads. He kissed me gently on the lips, pulling my left arm so I would turn my body toward him. I gave in. I didn’t want to fight him anymore. I didn’t want to be upset or jealous over something that shouldn’t even matter to me. - I was his student. But I was so much more than that now. I’m his neighbor and… friend/fuck buddy? I mean I’m 18, it’s not like I’m a child and he’s using me. But… he cares. He said it. And that changes… everything. It makes it too real. - But I gave in; I kissed him back harder, kissing him with want and need while turning my body in my chair so I was fully facing him. I wrapped a hand around his neck, my fingertips intertwining with some of his curls at the nape of his neck, and he moved his hands to my waist, moving me closer to the edge of my chair.

My eyes snapped open, remembering where we were and pulled away. “Harry, not here.”

“You’re right. Do you want a ride home?”

“Sure.”

“Come on.”

I grabbed my backpack and followed him to his car. The ride was silent, but comfortable. When he pulled in his driveway and into his garage, I turned to him and said, “Thanks for the ride.”

“Anytime.” He turned off his car and we stepped out, making our way out of the garage.

I broke the silence, “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

I nodded and walked next door to my house but before I got too far Harry called out my name, “Y/N?”

I turned around and he asked, “Are we okay?”

I nodded almost instantly, “Yeah. Yeah, we’re okay.”

Harry smiled, showing his dimple and causing my breath to hitch. I walked in my house and leaned against my front door then realized I was grinning. What am I smiling at?!