She's On Top

7: Our New Normal

1 Year Later.

Shayla's POV.

"WENDON! YOU'RE UP!" I hear a female guard yelling as the sound of her jingling keys comes closer to the door of my cell.

Every day in here is rough but I've accepted the fact that this situation is what it is. Days like today are rougher than others because they're visitation days. Nothing hurts more than being given the chance to see and hug your loved ones but knowing all the while that you won't be able to walk out of here with them. It's a pain I wouldn't wish on anyone.

A tear threatens to fall from the corner of my eye but I quickly wipe it away as I quickly move to the front of my cell to greet the guard.

"Wendon... Cheer up, okay? Your baby's strength depends on YOUR strength. Don't let her see you sad. You'll both get through this." Stacy, the guard, whom I've become fairly friendly with, advises me.

"I know. It's just hard. Every time I see her, my heart breaks into a thousand pieces because I should be out there. I should be with my baby." I say, thinking about this horrible predicament I've been forced into.

"I understand, Shayla... I really do. You just have to use that pain as fuel to push you to fight. We both know they railroaded you with those charges. Almost everybody knows. It's a fight for sure but let Averi be your WHY. You'll get out of here. Until then, enjoy these moments with her, alright?" Stacy comforts me as she places the handcuffs on my wrists gently and we begin walking.

"You're right. I'm just hoping everything will work out. Missing her life is something I never wanted to do...Yet, here we are. I hear you, though. I just have to focus on the positive. Besides, some of these women in here never get to see their kids or families so I should consider myself blessed, huh?" I flash a slight smile.

"Absolutely. One day at a time, Wendon... Just take it one day at a time, girl." Stacy smiles back, as she signals to the other guard to open the door that leads us down the hallway to the visitation room.

It takes us about 2 minutes to make it to the room. Just before we make it to the area where I can be seen, Stacy removes the handcuffs from my wrists and she whispers to me. "She's your reason to fight, Wendon. Remember that."

I turn the corner to enter into the room and before I can spot her, she spots me. Averi runs over to me nearly knocking me down as she screams for me. I lean down to pick her up and I give her the warmest hug I can muster up.

"Hi, my princess!!! Mommy missed you so much! You've gotten so big! Wow!" I say as I take note of how much heavier and taller she's gotten since our last visit.

"Hi, Mommy!! I'm so happy to see you. I missed you too!! You look really pretty!! I made you some pictures. Daddy has them on the table over there for you!" She smiles as she wiggles a bit in my arm.

"Thank you, babygirl! Make sure you tell Daddy you get your looks from me." I whisper, making Averi chuckle. "Thank you for my beautiful pictures too. I'll make sure I get them from him." I say as I rub her back and walk over to the table where Marquis is sitting.

I place Averi down on the table and Marquis stands up and starts making his way over to me. He wraps me in his arms so effortlessly and he whispers in my ear, "I missed you so much... You still look beautiful, baby."

My heart flutters quite a bit from hearing his words and feeling his warm body pressed against mine. As he pulls away, the reality slowly starts to settle in and he notices the sadness in my eyes.

"No... We're not doing that. I know this is tough for us, LaLa... but we got this. Don't let them see you cry, baby. Remember what I said last time?? It's temporary... You'll be home soon. Until then, let's enjoy the time we have together." He says in an attempt to comfort me.

"I know... I just miss you both so much. When you hugged me just now, there's nothing more that I wanted other than to kiss you—and I can't. Basic freedoms like kissing my fiancée have been stripped from me for something I didn't even do. And how do you do that anyway...?" I explain.

"I hear you. This isn't easy for any of us. God knows when I saw you turn that corner, my mind instantly went to all the other things I'd like to do with you... but then reality struck. I'm going to get you out of here, baby. I swear. How do I do what?? What you talking about?" He says, making me smile.

"You're crazy, you know that?? Trust me... I want to do those things, too." I bite my lip as I think about the passionate moments we'll be able to share once I'm free. I snap back into our present reality and I answer Marquis' question. "That... the thing you just did when we pulled away from that hug. How do you always know what I'm thinking before I even say anything?"

"I just know YOU. I've known you our whole lives, almost. You're my wife... I pay attention to everything—even the things you don't think I pay attention to." He smiles as he takes his seat across from me.

"That makes sense. Thank you for holding me down and for staying by my side. I know this isn't what either of us had planned for ourselves and it's definitely not the plan we had for raising Averi either... but I'm thankful to you for handling it well, considering the circumstances." I reach my hands across the table and I caress my man's strong yet gentle hands.

"You don't have to thank me. For Better or For Worse, remember? We didn't get to walk down the aisle yet but God gave us a headstart on actually honoring the vows we'll make once you come home." Marquis smiles, making me smile. We get lost in one another for a quick moment before we both notice Averi pushing her drawings closer to me. I look down at them and my heart leaps with joy as I see how beautiful they are.

"Woah! These are beautiful, Averi! You're gonna be mommy's little doctor/artist, hmm?" I ask as I admire her drawings before looking over at her.

"Yes. Daddy says I can be all the things I want to be. I want to be a doctor, make art, dance, and I want to be a police officer, too!" Averi excitedly spills.

"A police officer?? That's new... Averi, since when have you wanted to be a police officer, baby?" I ask her, raising my brow curiously.

"Uh... That's something new. She's been saying it for about the past 6 months or so. She wants to be a 'good' police officer... One who brings mommies back to their families.' Her words... not mine." Marquis interjects, trying to gently explain.

"I see. Well... Averi, I think you'd be at anything you choose to do. If you choose to become a police officer, I have no doubts that you'll be the BEST police officer you can be and I know you'll help a lot of people." I force a smile as I try to suppress my tears.

Time seems to go by quite fast from that point on. We spent our visit talking, laughing, and catching up—something I needed. Each time I see Marquis and Averi, it's as if the walls of the prison are nonexistent and we're back home in the comforts of our living room enjoying family time. Only when I hear the buzzer and a guard yelling for me using my last name does the fantasy come crashing down.

As I walk back to my cell, I say a silent prayer for Marquis, Averi, and ultimately myself. I ask God to watch and cover them as they are out there in the world and I ask him to release me from the prison walls. Hopefully one day my prayers for myself will actually reach God's ears... Until then, here I am... in Cell #22.