Mental Health One shots

16. Intuition - Amelia

Tw: Sh

Y/n pov:

"Shit! Shit! SHIT!"

I mumbled while continuing to pace up and down in my room.

I tried everything: snapping a rubber band against my wrist, eating something spicy, holding an ice cube. But nothing seemed to help. The urge was getting stronger with each passing second. I won't be able to resist it any longer.

Normally I would go to my mom, let her hold me in her strong arms and whisper sweet nothings in my ear until the urge subsides. But she's in the hospital right now and probably busy with her patients. I don't want to burden her any more.

It's pathetic that I can't control myself. That I always need her help. I'm a failure! She deserves someone better!

I walk over to my desk and take my last blade out of its hiding spot. I promised myself never to use it and yet here I am. Tears start to stream down my face and my hands begin to shake. I slide down the wall and pull my sleve back.

An instant wave of relief washes trough my body and I sigh in relief. The cold silver metal piece easily slides trough my skin. I watch the blood form. At first just tiny dropps, they grow bigger and then they flow down my arm.

Then the guilt hits me. I have been clean for so long! All my hard work was for nothing. Whatt will Mum think?

Again I slice trough my flesh. Deep. Depper than I have ever have. The thoughts stop for a moment, everything stopps. I feel the stinging pain and peace.

"I am home honey!"

Shit! She is too early!

Amelia pov:

Y/n seemed off this morning. I can't really point out what it was, that was off, I just know it was. I am scared that she might do something stupid. She would call me, wouldn't she? It was an agreement that we made. But what if-

"Amelia? Amelia! Someone in here?"

Addison's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. Her hand is on mine. She lookes concerned.

"Sorry?"

"Is everything alright? You seem stressed out? Is something going on?"

I look at her and lay my fork down. I was just picking at my food anyway.

"I think something is off with Y/n. I don't know exactly what. It's more a feeling. And I am scared that she might do something stupid, even though we agreed that she would call me, but she always feels like she burdens me whan she calls me and I am at work, so I don't really believe that she would call, and that scares me even more and-"

"Amy slow down. Do you really think she would relapse?"

Addison knew that Y/n selfharms. She found out when Y/n came with me into the clinic and her sleeve rolled up. Y/n loved Addison and Addison treatet her like her own. So she also became part of Y/n support system.

"I-I don't know. She has been clean for a while. But there is this feeling in my stomach. I can't really put it into words."

"If your intuition tells you that there is something wrong you should defenitely should go home and look after her."

"Thank you Addie!"

I nearly jumped up

"Please drive save and tell my if something happens!"

"Will do!"

----

"I am home Honey!"

I called into the house, followed by silence. My heart sank. I quickly sprinted up the stairs to her room and knocked on the door.

"Sweety can I come in please?"

No answer. I knocked again. Still no answer.

"I'm coming in now."

I opened the door and saw my daughter stitting curled up in a ball next to her bed. Something was clearly wrong.

"Hey sweety whats wrong?"

I crouched down infront of her and took her chin softly in my hand, making her look at me.

"I-I am s-sorry, I-I didn't mean to I sweaer! I-I just l-lost controll, I am so so sorry-"

"Hey sweatheart it's ok, it's ok. I am here now. You are safe. I am not mad!"

I carefully took my sobbing girl into my arms and held her close to my chest. I really needed to take a look at the cuts, because I was able to see a spot froming on her sleeve way too quickly.

"Sweety can I take you to the bathroom and take a look at the cuts?"

She shook her head frantically. What concerned me even more.

"I am gonna ask you a question and you have to answer me honestly. Can you do that?"

I felt a small nod against my chest.

"Did it stop bleeding yet."

She didn't answer. Then she shook her head.

"I have to take a look at your cuts now. I am sorry."

I carefully lifted her up and took her to the bathroom where I sat her on the counter.

Y/n looked down, holding her sleeve in a hight grip.

"Honey I won't be mad, please let me look."

She relaxed her fingers a bit and I used the moment to pull the sleeve up carefully. I was met with a blood soaked bandade.

"Don't apologise sweatheart. There is no need to do that."

She quickly closed her mouth again. Tears streaming down her face.

I took the bandage off and inspected the cuts.

"Won't need stitches but it is bad. Maybe I will have to take you to the ER when it doesn't heal properly."

She nodded silently.

"Do you want to give me the blade please?"

Her eyes met mine for a second. I saw how she debatet what to do. Then her hand rook the blade out of her poket and handed it to me. I quickly flushed it down the toilet.

"Thank you honey! I am so proud you gave it to me! I really am!"

---

After I bandaged her arm properly, I picked her up and took her to my room. Together we snuggled under the covers of my bed.

I was sat up against the headboard with Y/n laying inbetween my legs. Her tears had dried and the color has come back to her face. She knew that now came the talking and I felt the anxiety running trough her whole body. In an attempt to calm her a down a little bit I started playing with her hair.

"I am so sorry."

Y/n finally broke the silence. Even if it was just a whisper. But there was so much pain in her voice that I just wanted to take it all away from her. My poor child.

But if it continued like this I might have to take acrions to ensure her safety.

"We don't apologize for our way of coping, never. Even if it's not healthy. We don't apologize. I love you Y/n more than anything please call me next time. You don't burden me. I have always time for you! And you can also call Addie. We will bove drop everything! You are important!!"

"Thank you mom! Like really thank you! I appreciat it a lot!"

"And you are so welcome. But please call next time! Can you promise me that?"

"I promise!"

"Now try and get some rest honey!"

I placed a kiss on her forehead and drew circles on her back while she slowly driftet into sleep.

Wordcount: 1250