A/N: its been a long time, im sorry! requests are open now!
"I can't believe they're actually together" Johnson spoke, shaking his head.
"Nate...man, I'm so sorry"
I looked down at the floor and shook my head.
"We all hate Kenny now" Sam said and both Jacks nodded their head in agreement.
I lifted my head and offered a weak smile.
"Thanks guys, but you can't hate Kenny. I don't even hate Kenny. I'm just...mad. At myself really"
"But..he stole your girl" Sam said with confusion clear in his voice.
I sighed.
"No, he didn't steal her. I let her get away" I confessed.
It was quiet. I slapped my palms against my knees and got up off the floor.
"Alright, um. I'm just gonna head home, guys. I'll see you around" I exchanged a handshake with Sam before walking out the door.
I knew I couldn't take any more of their sympathy.
I planned on going home, I really did. But I soon realized that's not what I was doing. I found myself on the way to Kenny's. I knew she'd be there with him and I couldn't leave things with her the way that they were. I needed to see her.
I parked the car and pulled my jacket tighter around myself as I walked up the steps to Kenny's house. I stood on the doorstep and decided it was best to think about what I was really doing there. But I honestly wasn't sure. The only thing I was sure of was that I had to see her. I exhaled sharply and knocked on the door. I heard shouts and giggles before the door was pulled open to reveal a smiling Kenny. As soon as his eyes landed on me, his face fell.
"Oh...hey man. How are you?"
I nodded absentmindedly.
"I'm fine...kind of. I'm sorry to intrude, it's just...can I talk to (Y/N)? Please?"
Kenny sighed.
"I don't know man..."
"Look, I'm not mad or anything. I just don't want to leave things like this. I'm not going to run away with her or anything...I just need to see her, Kenny. Please"
Kenny stared at his feet for a moment before nodding.
"Hey sweetheart?" he called.
"Yes?"
My heart dropped at the sound of (Y/N)'s voice. Especially since she was responding to Kenny's call of 'sweetheart'.
"Can you come here for a minute?"
I listened to the faint patter of her footsteps as she appeared behind Kenny in the hallway. She was smiling and just like Kenny's had when he set his eyes on me, her face fell.
"Nate...?"
I smiled and shrugged slightly.
"Hi"
"Hi...?" she replied while looking at Kenny questioningly.
She grabbed onto his arm as he looked down on her lovingly.
"Nate wants to talk to you, I told him it was fine" he told her.
She looked up at him for reassurance and Kenny placed a kiss on her forehead. She nodded and stepped onto the doorstep.
"Just give her back, Nate"
"Will do man" I said offering him a smile.
I knew that even after all of this, Kenny was still a friend.
Kenny closed the door, watching us carefully as he did. We were alone now and she was close to me, but (Y/N) still couldn't look me in the eyes.
"Come on babe, after all this time you could at least look at me" I tried, a faint smile spread across my face until she lifted her glassy eyes to meet mine and my smile faltered.
"What do you want Nate?" she asked, barely above a whisper.
I didn't even realize it was snowing until she completely lifted her head to meet my gaze and I noticed how the snow decorated her hair and the redness of her cheeks, nose, and lips. She shivered and before I could think about it, I slipped off my jacket and draped it over her small shoulders. She accepted it wordlessly.
"I guess I just wanted to see you"
She met my eyes again and I was breathless.
Just being near her again made me remember every detail about the last time I saw her.
It was about 5 months ago. It was summer then and she was as beautiful as ever. We had spent the day on the beach and I remembered that I admired every little detail of her body when it was on display. I admired the little things too, like the way her fair skin freckled in the sun or the way her eyes crinkled with her smile. She was perfection in a little blue sundress; worthy of every ounce of adoration I had to offer and more. The sun set and my jacket was draped on her bare shoulders as we sat on the beach. And that's when it happened.
"I love you Nate" she said.
I met her eyes; a more beautiful sight than the sun setting over the crashing waves and I couldn't speak. I watched as the hurt filled her eyes and air drained from my lungs.
"You can't say it back, can you?" she whispered.
A tear fell onto her cheek and I lifted my hand to wipe it away, but she flinched away from me.
"Can you tell me you love me?" she asked, desperately searching my eyes.
I sighed.
"No"
I watched her carefully. She looked like I had just struck her. She sniffled and another tear fell onto the sand. She wiped her face and nodded her head over and over, as if trying to convince herself it was fine that I couldn't tell her I loved her. She stood up.
"Babe...don't go. Please don't"
She slowly pulled my jacket from her shoulders and let it fall to the sandy ground beside me.
"Goodbye Nate"
I remembered hearing her weeping as she walked away.
"Why Nate?" she asked.
I was breathless again when I saw tears running down her cheeks. I wanted so badly to wipe them away, but I knew she wouldn't let me.
"I needed to see you to tell you that I'm an idiot. I had you and I was stupid enough to let you slip through my fingers. And I regret that night on the beach everyday of my life. I regret what I couldn't say"
She just stared at me, tears running freely down her red cheeks.
"And I love you (Y/N). Damn it, I always loved you. From the minute I saw you. And the thought of being that in love with someone just terrified me...but I needed you to know that. I still love you"
"Nate..." (Y/N) spoke softly, pain written clearly in her beautiful face and broken voice.
"I know you're with Kenny now and it's too late for us and I'm trying to be okay with it because you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy and I know that he does...it just sucks. But you deserve to be with someone who can tell you he loves you without a second thought"
I reached out for her and when I could see she wasn't going to pull away I tucked a stray hair from her face, fiddling with the end of the strand for a moment between my fingers.
"I loved you too Nate"
I smiled sadly.
"I know you did"
She sniffled and wiped tears off her cheeks again before meeting my eyes.
"Can I have one last kiss?" I asked her softly.
She hesitated before nodding. I stroked her soft cheek with my thumb and tilted her chin upwards. But before I met her lips, I took a moment to cherish her with her head tilted back, full lips fanning warm air over mine, and a mixture of love and sorrow set in her stunning eyes. Then our lips met slowly as I kissed her for the last time. She pulled back slowly and I watched her eyes for a moment before smiling down on her. Then, just like she had before, she slipped my jacket from her shoulders handing it back to me and said, "Goodbye Nate"
It felt like a stab to my chest at first. It seemed so much like our last goodbye. Only this time, she wasn't weeping as she walked away and she went back inside to a guy who would love and adore her like she always deserved. And this time, I had told her I loved her. And maybe that's all that really mattered.
