"Poor wee lad..." muttered the baby-faced dwarf, Haggis, "Didn't deserve what he got."
"Yeah," whispered Professor McJiggy, "I bet those farts knocked the poor baby out, you sitting on him the whole way here."
"Shut up, Peggy. Where are you, anyway?" responded Haggis. At that, a chubby, cream pug waddled out of the shadows. It sat down in front of the dwarf, reaching up to his shoulders, and pawed his feet.
"It's Proffessor to you," huffed Professor McJiggy. They stood on a quiet street of detached houses. A red mailbox stood in the front yard of each one and there were perfectly trimmed hedges acting as fences.
"Little...England," Haggis read off a crumpled, stained sheet of parchment. When he looked up, a hunched old woman with emerald green robes stood towering over him.
"Let's get it over with then." she said. They walked tentatively up to the front door of the most pristine house of the lot.
"Jonathan and Stephen and their daughter, Dumpling. I hope they'll be kind to him," said Haggis, placing the baby on the door step. On his forehead shined a fresh cut, the shape of a toilet seat.
YOU ARE READING
Barry Butter & The Magician's Pebble
FanfictionBarry Butter thinks he is an ordinary, obese boy who lives with his Uncle Jonathan, Aunty Stephen and Cousin Dumpling, who makes him sleep in an old fridge in the attic, until he is whisked away by the coal-eyed dwarf, Haggis, and taken to the Pigwa...
