REBEL LOVE

Figuring Things Out

***ASHLEY'S POV***

          I watched as Andy walked over to Juliet's set. The stage she played at was seeing distance away so I could see Andy walk to the back of the stage. Juliet isn't even that pretty. Why does Andy like her? He deserves so much more. When he set ended I saw Andy walk up to her and they started talking. At the end of the conversation they hugged and my mind roared with jealousy. Could I possibly have feelings for Andy Biersack? I've known that I liked guys for awhile but I never wanted anyone to know. I pretend to be a ladies man and I sleep with every girl physically possible, but that's all a cover up. Shit, hes walking back over here. 

          "Hey Ashley, whats going on?" he says.

          "Nothing." I reply like an idiot. "I saw you over there talking to Juliet" I say to continue the conversation.

          "Yeah, we actually broke up." I couldn't help but smile, so I turned away.

          "Oh, Im sorry about that" I say.

           " It's cool. It just wasn't working out anymore, but we decided to stay friends." he says. Holy fuck. Andy is single now. What am I thinking. He's my band mate and obviously straight. I have no chance. 

          "You got your eye on anyone else?" I say.

          "Well there is this one bo- .. Er person..." he says. Was he about to say boy? No, I must have heard him wrong. No, I swear he was going to say boy. Is he into boys? Is he into me?

          I look into his beautiful, sky blue eyes and I really want to kiss him. I start to lean in, but then my phone rings. I don't even think Andy noticed me trying to kiss him, but I couldn't ignore the ringing. I check the caller ID and it's this girl named Nikki Benz. She's just another slut I used to cover up me liking guys, but I think I might actually have a chance with Andy. I answer the phone.

          "Hello?" I say

          "Hey Ashy baby." she says. Ugh is this how she flirts? She's too forward sometime, and I like hard to get.

          "Hi." I say trying not to lead her on more than I already have.

          "Since you're playing in California tonight I was thinking maybe I could come on to your tour bus after the show and we could hang out." The way she said hang out makes me uncomfortable. I think she was hinting that she wanted to have sex, but I was tired of throwing myself at girls who I don't want to be with. 

          "I don't think that's a good idea." I heard her say something that I couldn't quite hear, and I just cut her off. "Sorry, it's not a good time right now. Gotta go." and with that I hung up. She tried calling again but I let it go to voicemail. I realized Andy was still in the room, probably listening. "Did you hear all that?"

          "Yeah.." it looked like he was trying to hide a smile from me. Was he happy I was avoiding Nikki? I needed to talk to Jinxx. He's like a big brother to me and he would understand. He could help. I saw him standing outside the tour bus saying hi to a fan.

          "Hey Jinxx, I really need to talk to you." I say shyly. I quickly take a picture with the fan he was talking to and she happily runs away squealing.

          "Yeah what's going on bro?" he says.

          " I haven't really told anyone about this, so I'd appreciate you keeping this a secret... Well here goes nothing. I have feelings for Andy. I really just needed to tell someone about how I'm feeling. "

          "Don't worry Ashley. Your secret is safe with me. Hold off telling Andy for awhile, because you don't want to push him away. Just try flirting a bit with him and see how he responds. After though, you should tell him and whether he feels the same way or not, he won't judge you." Jinxx replies.

          "Thanks for your help, Jinxx!"

         I decide that I will make my move after the meetup.