Collision (discontinued)

Standstill

October 18, 2015

I've been working all day and all night on these songs. I finally have three of them done. Cops, which is not my normal style of music, it's within the realm and genre, but is definitely more bass heavy and more trap style. It must be a recently written poem, because it is definitely about Chase. The second song, The Other, is seems to be the more hurt, confused feelings she has from the breakup. It's got a lighter tone to it, more true to my style of music, but is definitely about the breakup. I'm not sure what Fumes is about. I found these lyrics toward the front of the book. It must have been written a while, ago. I talked to Anya this morning, and she said she'd love to listen to the songs after she hangs out with her friends. Until then, I've found myself reading that book she gave me. I'm halfway through it and it's quite eye-opening. This Jesicca woman is smart, definitely creative, and wise. Her writing is inspiring and I'm thankful for Anya's recommendation to read it.

"Hey, Zach, can you help me with a project?"

My thoughts are broken by my younger brother Tanner's voice. I close the book and nod at him, smiling, and following him into the living room.

I always thought I was the least popular at school out of us three children. But I was wrong. Tanner has two friends, Peter and Danny, of whom are both athletic, outgoing, and popular in their eighth grade. How Tanner befriended them back in sixth grade is beyond me. He's quiet and kinda geeky and into games. He struggles talking to girls, or anyone for that matter, and his grades are the only thing that matter to him. He's a great contrast to Sierra, who is loud and prissy and cares about her popularity more than her grades. I find it easier to relate to Tanner.

"So, what class is this for?"

"Science."

"Ugh, don't you have Mrs. Leniel?"

"Yeah."

"How do you like her? I hated her."

"She's alright."

"She probably likes you because she loved Sierra."

"Who else loves me?"

I roll my eyes at my sister's voice.

"Mrs. Leniel."

"Oh, yeah, her. That was the only class I got an A in that year."

Sierra sits on the couch next to us.

"What are you wearing?" I exclaim, shocked at my sister's snapback and boyish outfit.

"Clothes."

My sister has never been particularly girly, but this was new.

"Why are you wearing my shirt?"

"I just felt like dressing more masculinely, today, is that a problem?"

I raise my eyebrows, but return back to taping paper onto Tanner's posterboard.

"Not at all. I just didn't you were like that."

"Like what?" she challenges.

"Nothing!" I yell back, annoyed with her pesky questions.

"What is going on?" my mother yells, walking into the room.

"Zach is yelling at me for expressing who I want to be!"

"I was just asking about it! I didn't say anything negative!"

"Yeah, you were! You were saying it condescendingly!"

"No I wasn't-"

"Stop it, you two! Why are you dressed like that, Sierra?"

"I didn't want to wear girl clothes today," she explains, proudly.

"Oh, and why is that?" my dad walks in.

"I didn't feel like it."

"Do you have a problem with that choice, Zach?"

"No, I never said I did," I grumble.

"Well. Problem solved. Now, who wants to watch a movie?" my father suggests, happily.

I roll my eyes.

"I'm going up to my room," I retort.

"Come on, Zach," my mom pleads.

"I'd rather not."

"My poster isn't finished, yet," Tanner mentions, quietly.

I turn around, halfway up the stairs.

"I'm sorry. I'll help you, tomorrow, bud."

"Zachary. That's rude, he's your brother!"

I'm already up the stairs.

-=+=-

I've been sitting up here by my window for half an hour, now. Anya is supposed to be back soon. I've been working on outlines for more music. I haven't really been focusing on it, more so just thinking about my siblings. Is Sierra just being weird? Or is her whole "didn't want to be a girl today" thing real? I don't know. She's dramatic. And I feel bad for ditching Tanner. I'll have to have Sierra drive us somewhere and do something fun to make it up to him. I blow him off, a lot. It's not that I don't want to help him, it's that I just have other things to do.

"What's got you so distracted?"

I look up to see Anya climbing out her window. She's wearing makeup, and she's got her grey contacts in. She's got dark clothes and her hair is dyed, again.

"You look different."

"Yeah, I know. My friends told me that Chase might want me back. So, they helped me look like I used to. It's great, right?"

"I thought...wait...I thought you said he was a bad guy. And he's in a bad place."

"Yeah, but everyone is flawed, right?"

"I mean, I guess, but-"

"Do you have the songs ready?" she interrupts, excitedly.

"Yeah, here, you can hear them, I put them on the flash drive with the others. I think I'm going to go to sleep."

"You're not going to listen to them with me?"

"No, I'm pretty exhausted. I'll catch up with you, later."

"Zach-"

I shut my window.

A/N: I don't really know where this chapter went. I never really planned for this story to go in this direction, but I hope you all liked it, and I'll see you with another update soon! Have a great day, and if it's night, goodnight. :) <3

-Olivia