Deathwish girl x girl

Trouble

Snowy's Pov
I threw on some black jeans and a checkered shirt with some black converse . Cassie ... Cassie . I smiled . I wanna see her . I grabbed my bag and rushed downstairs . I bummed into someone .... My father . I dropped my bag . The fear was already forming in my eyes . I flipped over and tried to run but he grabbed my leg . " Where the fuck do u think your going bitch ?! " He yelled , slapping my cheek and slamming me into the wall .... I deserve this ... I'm so worthless aren't I ? It's quite funny . He started punching me over and over . His leg started jamming into my stomach . More ... Hit me more . I think he can read my mind because he started hitting me harder . I threw up and he stopped. " Go change already ! You worthless bitch ! " ... I walked back up into my bedroom . Hahaha .. He hates me for what I did to Kyle ... My brother . I killed him . I sat there and watched those two me beat him ..

Drip.... Drop.... Drip.... Drop....

Oh....I blacked out again .... I looked at the puddle on the floor , my wrist , the razor . I had realized that I had cut ... again . '' One , Two , Three .... '' I counted . Three blood slits right across my wrist . I have them everywhere . My stomach , my legs , my feet , my shoulders .....now I am on my arms , hands , and wrists . I'll be out of space soon ....Hmm ....Why am I cutting myself ... again ? Why am I hurting myself ? I'm a worthless piece of shit . Thats why . I sat on my bed ... thinking .

December 24 , 2007 ..... 5:00 pm ....Chritsmas eve .......Wednesday....

That night , that day is when I broke . I remeber that night .... it was the last time I cried . The last time I spoke . The last time I fet emotion . Like I said , that night broke me , it broke me into little pieces , that people keep breaking over and over and over again . I'm a broken toy that can't be fixed . That night , that horrible , horrible night is what made my life a living hell .

Two men ....

One had black hair , and green eyes . He was tall and skinny ....his weapon was the gun . The other man had brown hair , and blue eyes . He was short and big ......his weapon was the knife . I remember those men.....they changed my life forever . Those two men ..... make me feel worthless . Those two men ..... make me feel afraid . They killed the people who I loved ..... and I watched . Thats why they got away . Its my fault and it will always be my fault .

It started at 5:00 pm . My brother , Kyle and I were home alone . We were watching spongebob and laughing ... It was a happy moment . Until ... We heard a huge bang . I flinched . " w-what was that ? " ... I was 7 . I was fragile . I could make out 2 voices . They were screaming .   My brother looked scared . His eyes were gleaming with fear but he looked at me and he smiled , "Wanna play a game ? Count to 200 and then look for me ok ? '' ... '' Ok ! " He murmed something .... I couldnt make it out then ....but now I realized that he said , " Please be quiet , long enough ....dont die little sister . '' He ran downstairs . I started to count inside my head ....but i thought 200 was too long so I cheated . 10 , 20 , 30 .....I heard more gunshots .....I just thought it was the party .... 40 , 50 , 60 , 70 .....I counted really fast .... 110 , 180 . 200 ! I think back then ..... that counting saved time .... I tip - toed downstairs not wanting big brother to hear me when i found him . I giggled to myself . I peered into the living room . I saw big brother and slowly walked near the door ... I wished I hadn't . I saw two mean . One was laughing like a mad man ......My brother had a gun to his head ....another man was behind him and shot him .... I couldnt move .....tears ran down my face . They started cutting his neck opening and stabbing his chest over and over ... And I just hid. I stood there like an idiot . I killed ... My brother. I could've done ... Something ... Anything ! The men slammed the door shut ... and like that they were gone .........I broke into tears . I held big brother hand shaking them rapidly . I cried for hours .... and hours while screaming , '' PLEASE DONT BE DEAD ! YOU CANT BE DEAD ! BIG BROTHER ! WAKE UP ! PLEASE ! THIS IS A DREAM RIGHT ?!!!! THIS ISNT HAPPENING RIGHT ?!!!! '' I basically repeated those words for hours ....... crying , harder and harder . Yes , I was only seven but i could have done something , but I chose to be an idiot and just stand there . The door opened and my eyes went wide fearing it was the men .... but it was just my mother . '' MERRYYYYYYYYYY CHRIST - '' She stopped and her eyes went wide ...... I sat there crying . She wrapped her arms around me , comforting me , but staring at them . She soon started to cry too .
Dad came in after Parking the car . He was broken when he saw my brother .... His son .
After that night , Dad started to change . He took drugs . The whole house smelled like pot . He got drunk , He  brought women  in and out of the our house contsantly . You would hear moaning .... his  room smelling like cum . He started to hurt me when i turned nine . He  said I was worthless . He  said I was ugly . He said I was a bitch . He told me so many things .... I believed every single one . Its been 7 years .....I'm 14 now ..... nothings changed . I cut , get bullied , Dad hurts  me . Mother works mostly ... She doesn't know any of this ... And I love her too much to burden her . I stopped speaking since that day . Everything changed me . Cuts are on my body everywhere and I feel so much pain .....I spoken a word after that day . I went dead silent . I never even make a sound . Ater time .... I couldnt feel pain . I thought of it as life . I feel no emotion , I dont speak or laugh or play or giggle or dance or cry or smile or do anything . I'm lifeless like a little doll .

.... So that's my past ... So you can see when that girl Cassie came .... I lost it and smiled .

I changed again . Now wearing blue jeans , black tank top and my converse .
Now I'm off to see ... Cassandra Cassie ... The girl who ... Made me smile .