Whitethorn Academy

Chapter Forty-Two

I felt like the world was ending. Nothing made sense anymore. Alek and Inara still spoke, but their voices were muted and incoherent, as if I were underwater, drowning while they remained just above the surface.

"Selene," Inara's voice was sharp, pulling me out of my thoughts. "I know this is difficult, but your mother knew this was a possibility."

"Is that supposed to make this better? She knew the risks, so it's okay that she might be dead?"

Inara shook her head, her lips thinning. "That's not what I meant—"

"But it's what you said. All my life, I wondered why my mother didn't love me enough. Why she always chose Vincent instead of me. I wondered why I wasn't enough for her. And now, I find out that everything, everything, she ever did was to make sure I made it out of that house alive. And all you can say to me is that she knew the risks?"

Inara fell silent, as if she were unsure of what to say next.

"Is there no way of finding out if she's okay? Or trying to get her out of there before he does something terrible?"

The headmistress looked at Alek for a split second before responding. "I will see what I can do, but Selene, I need you to know that there may be nothing we can do."

While I supposed that was better than nothing, it still didn't ease the tight feeling in my stomach. My mother could be dead. All because she'd been trying to protect me. I wanted to scream, to throw something, to break something.

"Selene," Alek suddenly said, his voice low in warning, "you need to calm down before your magic explodes again."

Irritation flared through me. "Stop sensing my emotions."

"Learn to shield them from me and we won't have this problem."

"Alek is right, Selene. You need to get your emotions under control. Your magic, especially your anger, seems intrinsically tied to your emotions. The more powerfully you feel the anger, the more power you will unleash. And considering you can't control it, you may very well harm someone this time."

I took a few calming breaths, trying to restrain the anger I could feel building in my gut. As much as I wanted to release it all, consequences be damned, I also didn't want to harm anyone.

"I know these last few days have been intense for you. But there is nothing you can currently do for your mother. Instead, go to breakfast, and then attend your classes like normal. Can you do that?"

Could I? I wasn't sure. But Inara was right. There was nothing I could do now.

"Alek, take her to the dining hall and make sure she gets something to eat. And make sure she stays calm. Please."

Alek said nothing, but stood, waiting for me to do the same. With a sigh, I followed suit, trailing behind him as we exited Inara's office.

Even on the third floor, I could hear the clamor of students in the entrance hall, talking and laughing. Alek didn't make sure I was following before he headed down the stairs, taking them almost too fast for me to keep up.

On the first floor, it was easy to merge into the crowd of students heading into the dining hall. Almost easy to pretend I was the same as everyone else, except that churning feeling in my stomach didn't ease, a constant reminder that something was inevitably wrong.

I tried to keep a safe distance from Alek, not wanting everyone to see me following him like a lost puppy. Everything had spun out of control so fast, but I didn't want people to get the wrong idea about the two of us. Especially not Mari or Celeste. The pair of them might team up and murder me if they found out about the situation between Alek and I.