Senti Poets

Last Memories

As day pass by, I kept dreaming on you. The happy memories of us hanging out and talking. It never stop until the day I've realized that it was all a fantasy. I tried but I can't. I wanted to but my mind won't let me to.

For everyday of my life, never in a day you have never say you were getting annoyed at me. Each day I've tried not talking to you so that you won't get irritated at me. Besides silence is the only solution but I was wrong. You got mad at me even more. Trying to be fit in your world, I tried to change into someone that I'm not but you fail to see.

Each time I didn't talk to you I felt a pang of regret for not talking to you of how I miss the opportunities that I can be with you. I want to cherish though but miserably failed to. Each day I tried to hold back those tears that sprung into my eyes just to let you see that I can stand into this. Till the day, I'm weakened and fall upon my knees. You weren't there but I can see you from afar, laughing so hard. That moment I've realized I missed "us" the way we talk to each other, the way we laughed on stupid things and the time you were there for me but the moment will be just a memory.

Everytime I hear the song "Mary Jane" it reminds me of you. It is not because of your name but the fact the lyrics seems to be fit on what we are currently now. Just like the song says I'm no longer talking to someone that I used to instead I'm talking to a stranger. I don't know what happen to you or me but we kept on giving cold glares to each other.

Now, you are with someone. I wish I could be the person you were talking to but sadly no. Now, standing in a middle of nowhere with no sense of direction. I manage to take a step back and run away from you. But running away will take me to the same route again, back to you. This is why I've forced myself to disregard this feeling that I'm feeling for you because it is not good. You were the intoxicant that keeps getting into my body until I'm not into myself anymore. You weren't healthy for me and this addiction won't stop until this feeling will melt away.

I want to mend things between us. I've tried to talk but I was hesitant. Getting scared of what will you say to me because your words seem to be a dagger to me that kept on stabbing my heart.Each time I became hesitant I felt that you are getting far from me. I've tried to take each step toward you and be closer but you kept pushing me in the place that I shouldn't be. I don't know why you kept on doing that. Is it too wrong to care? Because as I can see the longer I care for you, misfortune happens. You get mad, you hit me, stay away and created more gap between us.

Each time those things would happen, I kept on hating myself for being stupid and insensitive of how you feel.I thought I would be enough but sadly no. I wish that I don't exist so that I won't felt this, being hurt. I wish I don't live for the same time as you so that you can be truly happy. Unfortunately, I did and I'm sorry for that. Everytime I look at you, I can see the sadness. Everytime you look at me, I can see the fury. I'm sorry for being the memory of your past. I tried to be invisible but you already taken the colors out of me. I'm sorry.

Now that you are gone, I'll put those happy memories not in mind but in my heart for that it can be felt and for I know that it would be the last memories of you and me.