Unpredictable

Chapter 6

Chapter 6 

Kris's POV 

When I woke up that morning I just stayed, lying awake for 3 hours. Thinking about what the hell is wrong with me.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that I'm not right in the head. There was seriously something wrong with me. Maybe it was the way I think, or maybe the way I react to different things. I thought all kids my age thought and acted like this. But I guess not.

Believe it or not, I was pretty darn popular in Middle School. But that was in a different state.

It was when my mom got transferred or whatever, not sure how it works, to the hospital here leading to the whole family to move here when I noticed I was changing.

At first I thought I had just woken up one day miserable and decided to stay that way for the rest of my life. But that can't be it.

I don't have a tragic backstory. I don't have insecurities or anything, in fact I'm smoking hot. I'm not neglected by my parents or anything. I'm not rich but I'm not poor either.

My therapist said depression is a common for people like me. People who are dying. Or gonna die. Which is bullshit because everyone is going to die eventually.

Besides, having depression is feeling like you're drowning. I just feel really angry. I don't know why but I am.

The useless therapist said that I was angry because I felt it was unfair that I had a faulty heart. I'm not an immature cancer kid okay. Why the fuck would I be angry because of that. It isn't freaking River's fault, why am I so angry at him and the rest of the school.

The only people that I don't feel angry at is my parents, and maybe a few people from my mom and dad's workplace.

All I'm trying to say from that whole long and irrelevant train of thought is that I am miserable and so fucking angry. And I have no clue why.

Sometimes I wish I could just die but hey, don't we all. But why did I even exist in the first place? There is literally no point, seeing as I'll die soon anyway.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I'm a waste of space or anything because I'm fucking awesome.

Let me let you in on a little secret, the reason I'm so far back in the list of heat donors, is because of my intake of drugs.

I know what you're thinking, 'Gasp, Kris took drugs?' No I'm not an addict or anything. In fact I fucking hate those assholes who take drugs for fun. Like children here around the world are dying for a few more seconds to live and you are just sitting there like a fucking stupid son of a bitch, smoking pot or whatever.

When I first found out my heart was faulty all I wanted to do was die. I didn't want someone else's heart, mine was perfect. Sure it didn't work like it was supposed to but it's a part of me and every inch of me is perfect from the bottom to the top.

And back then I didn't understand that if I didn't get a new heart I'll die, so did the stupidest thing I have ever done. I sniffed those glue shit that would get you high every day after school until the day I was admitted in the hospital. I got that stupid idea from some blonde bitch, let's ignore the fact I'm blonde, who was crying or whatever for being too far back on the list because of cocaine.

I know, how more stupid could I possibly be? But hey! I was 13. That is like our stupid year where we make most of our mistakes.

But of course, that whole glue sniffing and getting high thing didn't end there. I kinda got addicted to the feeling. I did it a lot and even updated to pot.