For the rest of the day, I try to make sense of what happened in the entryway with Mr. Sexy Douche Bag. I shouldn't have just reached out and groped him that way, but his reaction was still surprising. Maybe he's just naturally a jerk, but why have I dreamt about him? Plus, there is that strange electric connection. None of it makes sense.
The next morning, after a very rough night of nightmares, I head off to Astronomy, relieved I can finally relax. I love learning about the stars. Even back in high school, during my emotionally detached days, I would stare up at the night sky and appreciate the beauty of each one; how they seem to be separate but whole. The first time I ever experienced happiness was when I had been lying in bed one night, staring out my window at the stars shining harmoniously. The prickle showed up and I smiled as the warmth of happiness swelled inside me. Ever since then, I've felt this strange bond with the night sky, like somehow I'm connected to it.
The classroom is empty when I enter. Taking a seat at the back corner desk on the upper row, I set my book on the table and take a pen out from my bag. Although I don't have any future plans for my life, I hope that one day I can do something with the stars. I'm working on a General Studies degree because nothing seems to fit right. Whenever I look forward and try to envision my future, all I see is light.
The winter semester has barely started; there are a few extra students who show up and some who drop out over the first few weeks. I notice a girl I've never seen before around campus walk into the classroom. Her golden-brown hair is twisted up in a clip that matches the shade of her pink sweater. Her eyes are a fierce green, traced with brown liner and there's something familiar about her.
She smiles at me as she takes the seat in front of me and sets her purse onto the desk. "Hi, I'm Aislin Avery."
"I'm Gemma Lucas." I feel strange because people rarely talk to me. Around sophomore year, I started to believe that perhaps I was invisible and that people couldn't see me. "Is it your first day in this class?"
She nods and tucks a strand of hair behind her ear as she begins rummaging around in her purse. "I just transferred to UW."
"Are you a senior?"
She nods. "What year are you?"
"I'm a senior too."
"Oh, that's nice," she says, retrieving some lip-gloss from her bag. "It's nice to meet a fellow soon-to-be graduate." She turns around and directs her attention to her phone.
I stare out the window and watch the snowflakes drift down from the sky as people begin to wander into the classroom. There is a little yellow light flickering near a cluster of leafless bushes, like a lightning bug spazzing out. The longer I stare at it, the more it blends into the snow and fades away.
Strange.
I click the cap of the pen off as my thoughts drift to the guy I ran into yesterday. For most of my life, I've never thought of guys as anything more than people, figures that filled up the school hallways and ran over me like I was nonexistent. And in my past that was fine. I never felt sad, lonely, or depressed. It was as if I was an object that filled up space, moved without cause, and served no purpose. Things changed when I started to feel emotions. It isn't like I want every single guy I come across, but I do have a very vivid imagination that is fed by my loneliness. If I had actual friends, then maybe my dreams and thoughts would tone down a little.
As I put the cap back on the pen, my hand begins to tremble and my gaze automatically dashes toward the doorway. My jaw drops. The guy from yesterday is walking inside. He moves like a cat with measured stretches of his long limbs and every muscle in his body flexes underneath his grey Henley and jeans. His hooded eyes are fastened on me as he climbs up the steps toward me and my fingers nearly strangle the life out of the pen in anticipation.
Is the strange, electric heat going to appear again?
He veers down the aisle in front of me, then flings his gaze off me and drops down into the seat beside Aislin. "Did you get your schedule all worked out?" he asks, reclining back in the chair and biting at a pen.
"Kind of." Aislin grabs a small paper from her purse, places it on the desk in front of her and runs her hands along it to smooth out the wrinkles. "The office people were kind of jerks."
He looks over his shoulder as he tips back the chair and the two front legs disconnect from the floor. He arches his eyebrows at me, probably because I'm staring at him with my mouth hanging agape. There's probably even some drool on my chin.
I discretely wipe my chin with the sleeve of my jacket, relaxing when it feels dry.
Aislin revolves around in her seat and beams a grin at me. "Gemma, this is my brother Alex."
I extend my hand out to him, wondering what it's going to feel like to touch him and if it will strike up the spark again. "It's nice to meet you."
His eyebrows furrow as his gaze cuts to my hand and then back to my face. He lowers the chair legs back to the ground and shrugs me off as he faces his sister. "So how much unpacking do you have left?"
My fingers grip around the pen until my knuckles turn white and it takes every ounce of energy not to stab him in the back of the neck. Thankfully, Professor Sterling enters the classroom and begins his lecture on sky charting. The interruption calms me down.
I jot down a few notes, but my concentration keeps straying to Alex. He is leaning back in his chair with his arms tucked behind his head and his eyes are half open. His shirt is riding up and his rock hard abs are peeking out. I rest my chin in my hand and focus on the lines of his muscles, his luscious lips, his firm jawline. Every now and again, he bites down on his bottom lip and I picture myself sucking it into my mouth, biting down on it and then sucking it into my mouth again. I imagine my hands touching every inch of his body, feeling how hard he is.
I'm thoroughly enjoying how hot the mental picture makes my body feel when he unexpectedly tilts his head toward me. Our gazes collide and a fire crackles inside me, flaming passionately; full of a need I can't quite grasp. Then he glares and the fire goes poof, fizzles, and I feel put out; extinguished to nothing more than a thin trail of smoke. He quickly looks away and everything goes back to normal.
As class continues, the silence of the electricity is maddening. In a twisted way, I want to feel it because it feels good, but does it really exist? Just as the thought crosses my mind that maybe I have imagined it, a sharp spark nips at my lips. It is gentle at first, barely a tingle, but it grows stronger as it streams down my neck and my skin, causing a vibration deep inside me. I flex my hands and cross my legs trying to suffocate the tingling between my thighs.
Alex's jaw is taut as he stares ahead at the front of the classroom where Professor Sterling is yammering about something that is probably important, but all I can concentrate on is the untamed desire I feel. I want to do things to him, like jump over the desk and peel his clothes off.
Alex jerks his fingers through his hair and cocks his head to the side to capture my eye. His expression is a mixture of emotions: fear, anger, longing; they mirror my own perfectly. It's becoming harder than hell to keep my hands to myself. I finally have to tuck them between my legs before I end up reaching out and touching him.
Seconds later, Alex breaks our gaze and redirects his attention to the front of the classroom, clicking his pen over and over again through the rest of the lecture.
At the end of class, Professor Sterling assigns everyone to a group to work on a project and my group gets assigned to create a presentation about Gamma-ray bursts. I hate when he does this. I thought after high school that it'd be over, but there are always a few Professors who think it's beneficial to aid each other in projects. Worst of all, he pairs me with Alex and Aislin, which has to be fate slapping me across the face. Hopefully, I can keep my Goddamn hands to myself, but at the moment the idea doesn't seem plausible.
I gather my stuff and put my books into my bag before swinging it over my shoulder. Trying not to look at Alex, I start down the stairs, but his shoulder rams into me as he exits the aisle. I trip sideways, slamming my hip into one of the corners of a desk. Something inside my skull pops and images deluge my brain like little pieces of glass.
Alex and I are in front of a glistening lake, crisp with blue ice and encircled by frosted trees. Death is in the air and the sky is opaque and ominous. Snowflakes twirl around us and the temperature is well below freezing.
"It will be alright," Alex whispers to me, his breath clouding out in front of him. His lips are purple from the cold and there are dark circles under his green eyes. Shavings of ice have formed on his eyelashes and drops of snow stick to his hair. "I won't let anything happen to you. I promise I'll save you no matter what."
Tipping my chin up, I grip onto his strong arms, like it's the last time I'll see him. "But what about you? Who will save you?"
He sweeps my hair out of my face and kisses me with so much passion it nearly melts the snow. He sucks on my tongue, his hands straying around to my backside as he pulls my body against his. They linger there momentarily before he draws back. "As long as you're okay, I'll be fine."
"But Alex," I start to protest, but a large group of hooded figures charge from the forest and my words are sucked away by the wind.
The beat of their march shakes the world as they head for us. Ice topples from the trees and hits the ground. Alex pulls me against him as flames blaze through my body and then all I see is light.
I blink back to the Astronomy classroom right as my legs give out and I fall toward the floor, but Alex's arm encircles my waist and he catches me before I hit. I freeze, stunned, feeling the heat and the intensity caressing my skin, causing more confusion.
Well, what the hell was that? A dream? In the middle of the day? Awake?
"I do know you," I say as I stare up at him and this time it isn't a question.
His hands tighten around the small of my back and for a moment he holds me, frozen, as people pass by, heading down the stairs and looking at us like we're crazy. He's breathing fiercely, his chest rising and falling, as he stares at me with confliction in his eyes; his pupils round and large, and his lips are parted.
Foggy images fill my head. "I think I..."
"Alex," Aislin's voice rises over the moment. "We need to get to our next class."
He blinks and then wrenches his hands away from my back, giving me very little time to get my footing. He glares at me, his eyes pooled with hatred, but I'm not sure it's directed at me. Then he trots down the stairs with his sister at his side.
I watch him leave, very aware that he never denied that I know him.
