"Sometimes I think it'd be better if I were dead," I say to Alex as I walk around the trees and head further into the forest.
He catches me by the arm, jerks me back and twirls me around to look at him. "Why would you ever say that?"
I stare at the lake that's peeking through the brim of the forest. "Because then, I wouldn't have to feel the pain anymore."
He hooks his finger under my chin and makes me look at him. His green eyes glisten in the sunlight that is flickering through the branches of the trees. It looks like he's about to cry and I don't understand why. "If you couldn't feel the pain anymore, then you wouldn't be able to feel how great it feels when it leaves you. Without pain, everything else wouldn't matter to you. It would all be the same."
"Sometimes I think that'd be better."
"Better than love?"
I swallow hard as tears puddle the corners of my eyes. "I don't know if I know what that is and I'm not sure I ever will."
He embraces my cheek with his hand and grazes his thumb just below my eyes. "Yes, you will. You'll know because for a moment, that pain will be gone."
"Gemma, can you hear me?" Alex whispers. "Gemma, wake up."
I feel myself being lifted and then arms coddle me closer to a tepid chest. Electricity webs through me and the ice in my body shrinks and melts. I'm no longer cold, but feverish. I tuck my head in and let the heat take me over as light gleams around me.
"Whatever you do, don't go to sleep," he says. "Keep your eyes open."
I'm trying, but it's hard. I can't... Suddenly I can't feel the pain anymore.
I wake up confused and with an earsplitting headache. My hand is bandaged up, I'm lying in a log bed, and there's a blanket over me and a pillow under my head. The walls are made of the same logs as the bed and so is the nightstand and the dresser. There's an antique vanity in the corner and a window next to it, which shows the extensive scenery of mountains that are submerged in snow.
I clutch my head as I sit up and blink my eyes, trying to piece everything together, but my memories are a bit foggy. "Am I back in Wyoming? Holy fuck, have I been dreaming the entire time?"
"Depends on where you think the dream started from?" Alex's voice wraps around my body and makes me remember the dream I'd been having. It also makes me remember all the things Laylen and I talked about.
He's by the doorway, looking comfortable as he leans against the doorframe with his arms folded. He's wearing a black t-shirt, faded jeans with a tear in the thigh area, different from the clothes I saw him in last time, and his dark brown hair is damp.
I lower my hand from my head. "How long have I been out?"
"A little over six hours," he answers simply. "You were pretty out of it."
"Six hours?" I start to get up, but the soreness in my head sends me straight back to the bed. "What happened? Because the last thing I can remember is the Death Walker breathing on me, then it felt like I was dying."
He uncrosses his arms, walks across the room and sits down at the foot of the bed. "You should have been dead. The Death Walker breathed the Chill of Death on you and it's lethal, but somehow... somehow you're alive."
I check over my arms, which have fingernail-size cuts all over them. "How did I survive?"
He shakes his head and the muscles in his arms go stiff. "I have no idea. All I can figure is it has to do with the star being inside you."
The star. I wish he'd stop reminding me. I throw the blankets off me and move my legs over the edge of the bed. "Where are Aislin and Laylen?"
He rubs his hand down his face and sighs. "Aislin couldn't transport all four of us out of the house at the same time, so she had to make two trips. When she transported back to get Laylen, she never came back."
"What!" I exclaim and begin to put weight on my feet, despite my wobbly knees. "Well, we have to go back there and get them. I mean, the Death Walkers were there and they—"
He grabs my arm and gently steers me to the side so I fall onto his lap. "Calm down, my father called not too long after and said they were fine. That Aislin's crystal had shattered, but they were able to make it to the car and drive to the city."
I remember the conversation Laylen and I had in the kitchen. "So they're okay?"
He nods. "Yeah, they're okay—everyone is okay. Everything is going to be okay. God, it's nice to be able to finally say that."
Why does it feel like there are pieces of the story missing? "Did you talk to them yourself?"
"Who? Aislin and Laylen?" he asks and I nod. "No, I tried like a thousand times before my father called, but their phones went straight to voicemail."
"Then, how did your father get ahold of them?"
"They called him from Adessa's."
"And where are they now?"
He eyes me over suspiciously. "They're all headed here. Why?"
"And what about Marco and Sophia?" I say, cradling my bandaged hand as I tip back. "Where are they?"
"I'm not sure, yet," he replies with a dash of annoyance. "When we went back to Laramie, we couldn't find anyone."
None of this makes sense and it's frustrating because he doesn't seem to care. It's like he's blind—brainwashed. "And what about your father? Where was he this entire time?"
"He was out in Magia Terra." He takes my injured hand in his and traces the folds between my fingers.
"Magia Terra?" My body responds elatedly to his touch, but I tell it to shut the hell up.
"It's like this wasteland where useless or broken magical objects are dumped," he explains as his finger roams to my palm where the knife entered. "He does work there a lot and there's no reception whatsoever. I don't know why I never thought of it before."
"But he's back now?" I frown as he brings my hand to his lips and he delicately kisses the bandaged area. He's being weird. Too affectionate.
He nods, then picks me up by the hips and turns me around to face him. "He's headed here now, so relax." He kisses my neck as his fingers sneak up between my legs and he spreads them open so there's one on each side of him. "Everything's fine."
Everything isn't fine. I have no idea where we are, what happened, or what exactly was said when Stephan finally called. I've missed a lot while I've been out and the only person that has been completely honest with me isn't here.
His fingers travel up the top of my leg and he kneads my thighs with his fingers. "Relax, everything's okay."
I crane my neck and glance back out the window at the snow-covered land. "Where are we?"
"We're in one of the Keepers cabins in Colorado." He fixes a finger underneath my chin and makes me look back at him. "Can we stop talking about this now? I'd really rather be doing other stuff," he says in a demanding tone and then he leans forward and kisses me freely.
It's completely out of character for him. Usually, he's either out-of-control or trying to restrain himself and the last time we talked, he made it pretty clear that he thinks of me as just the star. He's too comfortable, as if he suddenly thinks it's okay to kiss me and touch me. I need to stop him and get some answers.
"I think we should..." I begin to protest against his lips, but I trail off as his tongue determinedly enters my mouth.
His hands slide up to my waist, leaving a trail of heat on my stomach as they touch my bare skin. Turning us to the side, he winds one hand around my back and covers my body with his as he lays me on my back. He spreads my legs open and positions his body between my legs and we fit perfectly together. At least for a moment, but as his hand wanders up the front of my shirt and cups the outer layer of my lacy bra, I remember how powerful his touch is and I scream at my brain to snap out of it.
It works. I wiggle my arms between us and, with effort, push him back. "Is there any way I can take a shower? I'd like to wash off all my cuts."
He pants, his green eyes glossy as he studies me. Then, his hand leaves my shirt and sneaks between my legs. "You want to take one right now," he says, rubbing me.
My body quivers for his fingers to be inside me, but I fight against it, and remain in control. I nod because I need a second to clear my head and try to figure out what's going on.
He sighs and then brings me with him as he stands to his feet. He tugs my shirt back over my stomach and tucks a few pieces of my hair behind my ear. Then he laces his fingers with mine, leads me across the room and scoops up a bag near the doorway. "While we were in Laramie, we stopped by your house and picked up some of your clothes and stuff."
"Thank you," I say and take the bag from him.
He leans in and kisses my cheek. "You're welcome."
If it wasn't for the flow of electricity, I'd think he's the mirage because Alex is not affectionate. Hot, intense, irrational, maybe even a little bipolar—yes. Loving and caring—no.
He shows me where the bathroom is and then makes a joke about taking a shower with me before leaving. I'm lost and I don't know what to do. Jump out the window and run through the mountains? Trust Alex? Trust Stephan?
I strip off my clothes and let the water run hot before I step in and close the curtain. Rinsing off my body feels like I'm rinsing off the last few days. By the time I step out, I feel a little bit better. Not trusting, but better.
The room is overflowing with steam and I can barely see. I feel around for a towel and then wrap it around me. When I head to the counter where my bag is, the steam parts open and reveals a figure standing near the door.
I step back and tighten the towel around me. "Hello?"
He takes a step forward and exposes his dark green eyes, messy brown hair, broad shoulders and an amused smile on his lips. It looks like Alex, but I can tell right away that it isn't by the lack of voltage in my body.
"Shit... You're the mirage." I back toward the shower, smacking my knee on the corner of the porcelain tub as I work to hold the towel together. He matches my moves, mimicking my pace, and then speeds up when I reach the stained glass window in the corner.
"And you're Gemma." His voice is soft like velvet, alluring even. "Beautiful, confused, poor, broken Gemma." He trails his fingers along the top of the towel, just above my chest. I bend my knee to kick him, but he bends his own and his knee caps restrain my legs against the wall. His hand drifts toward my neck and I let out a scream as I smack his hand away.
He slaps his hand over my mouth, snatches ahold of my wrists, and twists my arm in a very awkward position. Then he spins me around so my back is pressed against his chest and his arms snake around my midsection. I raise my foot and fling my leg back to kick him, but he hops away and dodges my endeavor. His arms constrict around my arms and his skin is warm against mine, but not in the same way as Alex's. He has a strange smell to him, like lilacs mingled with freshly fallen rain. The smell is pungent and makes me nauseous.
He covers my mouth with his hand as he directs us toward the door and I bite down on his skin. "Dammit." He slaps the back of my head as he curses and I swing my head back; making us lose balance and we slam into the toilet.
As he works to get us both to our feet, without letting go of me, the door comes crashing in and Alex rushes inside. The blood promptly drains from his face. "What the fuck?"
The mirage laughs disdainfully as his arms wrap back around me. "Hello to you, too, old friend."
"Old friend?" My eyes widen and I freeze. "Alex, you know him?"
Alex shakes his head, looking as perplexed as I feel. "Who are you?"
The mirage shakes his head. "I'll be the one asking the questions."
Alex glances at me for an explanation and I shrug. He cautiously takes a step further inside the room, closing in on us. "Why? You have no place to go."
The mirage laughs again. "I think you're forgetting what a mirage is and how we travel. I can be out of here quicker than you can blink, if I want to."
"Fuck." Alex stops moving and clenches his fists as he battles to contain himself. My body lets out a terrified shudder. I've never seen him worried. Usually, he's the man with the plan, but he looks helpless and lost.
The mirage's mouth moves next to my neck and a floral scent whelms my nostrils. "Shudder again and I might just take you back to my house instead of where I'm supposed to take you. I could have a lot of fun with you."
I angle my head to the side and cringe. The towel is slipping loose and he has himself pressed up against me in every strategic place. "Back off, pervert."
"If you touch her, I'll break off all your fucking fingers." Alex dares another step into the room so the only thing between us and him is the sink. "And since I'm pretty sure you know what I am, after all, you seem so dead set on being me, then you know what I'm capable of and just how good I am at breaking bones." He pops his knuckles and neck.
The body of the mirage begins to quiver and vibrate. The possibilities of what he could be doing spin a web of disgust through my body, but Alex seems pleased by whatever he's doing. He continues to shake and shiver faster and faster, until he conclusively lets out a jolt that lurches us both forward.
"Nicholas Harper." Alex crosses his arms and a patronizing look arises on his face as the mirage skims his arms down to my waist.
I slant my head back to look at the mirage. His hair is no longer brown, but a sandy-blonde and his eyes are as golden as the desert sand. He's shorter than Alex and a little thinner, but probably around the same age. It creeps me out to see him in real form, not because he's bad looking, but because I realized he's basically a shape-shifter and he can be anyone.
"You know, it's really fun messing with your head," he says and his real voice is higher. "And that scene in the forest was priceless. I'll never forget the scared looks on your faces."
Alex shakes his head. "I'm not sure why I'm surprised. I always figured you'd end up with something like the Death Walkers. Tell me, when did you decide to switch sides?" He's acting arrogant and condescending which I normally hate, but, at the moment, I'm thoroughly entertained.
"I didn't switch sides," he says with irritation. "I was merely having fun with this lovely girl right here and the Death Walkers just happened to show up at the right time. It couldn't have been better timing if I planned it myself."
"That was all it was about?" Alex doubts with a frown. "To simply fuck with our heads?"
"There's always a purpose." His shoulders lift up and then descend as he shrugs. "But, it doesn't mean I have to divulge it to you."
"What about the other time?" I question and Alex looks at me for clarification. "The one in the parking lot? Where you were pretending to help me with the Death Walker?"
"Mind manipulation. Foreseer's are excellent at it." His breath stings at my nose and I almost gag at the floral scent. It's so powerful, like he's recently eaten rose petals. He strengthens his hold on me, arms tightening as he urges me closer to his chest. His heart beats through his chest and against my back, slow and rhythmic like a drum. "She's a beautiful thing, isn't she?"
I scrunch my nose and make a face. "Let me go." I try to kick him, but miss again.
"I'm the one calling the shots here," he says, then sniffs my hair as his hand drifts down my stomach to the base of the towel. Alex starts to move forward with a vein popping out in his neck. "Which means I can do whatever I want with you."
I wiggle my arm enough that I can jab my elbow into his stomach. "Fuck you."
His stomach muscles tense. "Feisty. I like it," he whispers in my ear and I slam my head straight into his nose.
"Shit!" His hands leave my body and I dash over to Alex, meeting him in the middle of the room. He grabs my arms and swings me behind him. Prodding me with his elbow, he drives me toward the door as he reaches for his pocket.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Nicholas calls out, still clutching his nose. There's blood running down his arm and dripping onto his grey t-shirt.
Alex pulls a small knife from his pocket and flips the blade open. "Gemma, go."
"Go and there will be even bigger consequences." Nicholas pinches the brim of his bleeding nose. "And since you're a Keeper and know all the laws and rules, I bet you can guess what they are."
"Foreseers can only punish Foreseers," Alex states as he poises the knife out in front of him.
He removes his hands from his nose and there's blood all over his face. "Which is exactly what she is."
My jaw nearly slams to my knees. "Excuse me."
Alex turns his head and puts his finger to his lips, shushing me. "Listen, there's been a misunderstanding." He looks back at Nicholas. "Gemma, she's... there are things about her that make her different, but she's not a Foreseer."
He grabs a towel from off the hook and begins to dab the blood off his face. "Did she see a vision?"
Alex wavers with his arm bent at the elbow and the knife stationed in front of him. "Yeah, but there were special circumstances."
"Look, I don't give a shit what she is or what the circumstances are. You know the law and the law says if a person sees a vision, then they belong to the Foreseers." He wipes his hands off with the towel and tosses it onto the counter. "Gemma saw a vision; therefore, she belongs to us and she's going to the City of Crystal with me."
"I know what the fucking laws say," Alex snaps. "But, like I said, she's..."
"Different." Nicholas throws his head back and laughs. "It doesn't matter. She has to go back with me. She can try and plead her case when she gets there, if she wants to." His gaze drinks me in. "She can even wear the towel."
I pull a disgusted face, secure my hand onto the towel and then cower back behind Alex. "Can't you make him go away?" I hiss.
Alex shakes his head over and over again and then he pounds his fist against the countertop, causing perfume bottles to topple from the cabinet into the sink. He kicks the cupboard and punches a hole in the wall, breathing furiously and with deep, ravenous heaves of his lungs. After a long dragged out pause, he finally utters, "Fine, she'll go."
"What!" I cry, jumping in front of him. "Are you kidding? I'm not going anywhere with him to some city with a bunch of future seeing weirdoes."
He sighs heavily and adjusts the towel higher up on my chest. "You don't have a choice, Gemma. Laws are laws. If we break them, we'll pay and you'll still end up having to go down there."
I lock eyes with him and give him a silent plea. "Can't you do something, like beat him up? Or, stab him with your knife?"
Alex smashes his lips together like he's trying not to laugh at me. "As much as I would love to do either, I can't. Technically, he hasn't done anything wrong."
"He was with the Death Walkers," I argue. "And he's been fucking with my head... he made me think I was going crazy."
Nicholas lurks towards us with a smirk. "Now, that wasn't entirely me. Some of that stuff was conjured up from your own head. I was just trying to give your Foreseer ability a little nudge. You should be thanking me. Now that the gift's starting to surface, the nightmares should stop."
"Can't we just run?" I ask Alex, ignoring Nicholas.
Alex shakes his head and offers me a look of compassion. "Foreseers can travel anywhere by the power of the crystal. If he wants to find us, he can and very quickly."
Nicholas starts to laugh as he reaches the edge of the counter. "We are brilliant creatures, aren't we?"
Alex rolls his eyes and slams his hand against Nicholas's chest, shoving him back. Nicholas bumps his hip on the corner of the sink as he staggers backward, tripping over his feet. "Just so you know, I'm going with her," Alex tells him.
The humor vanishes from Nicholas's face as he recovers his steadiness by bracing his hand on the wall. "You can't go."
"There are no laws forbidding Keepers from entering the City of Crystal," Alex informs him as he slides his pocketknife back into his pocket. "So I can go whether you like it or not."
It makes me feel a little bit better, but not much. I don't want to be a Foreseer. I already have too much on my plate, and adding the ability to see futuristic visions is going to splinter it even more. "Are you sure there's no other way?" I whisper to Alex, hoping.
There's definitiveness in his eyes. "I'm sorry, but don't worry, I'll make sure you come back with me. You won't have to stay there."
Can I believe him? Can I trust him? What other choice do I have?
He licks his lips as he stares at my mouth, and then increases his voice so Nicholas can hear. "The Keepers have much more weight than the Foreseers and, in the end, we all know how this is going to turn out."
Nicholas's eyes smolder like embers as he glowers at Alex. "Nothing's changed. You still do whatever the hell you want."
"Yep," Alex replies coolly as he leans in and kisses my cheek possessively. "I absolutely fucking do. There's no other way to live life."
"Whatever." Nicholas retrieves a miniature crystal ball from the pocket of his cargo pants. It's filled with red rubies and there's a glittery tint to the glass. "Go head, my little Gem," he says to me as he holds the ball. "Ladies first."
I glance at the towel barely covering my body. "You have to let me change first."
"Says who?" Nicholas questions and I want to slug him. "There's no way I'm going to leave you alone. For all I know, you'll jump out the window and run."
"And what?" I question. "Run out into the mountains and die?"
He shrugs. "From what I've seen, you could be that stupid."
I shake my head and march forward with my hand beginning to elevate to hit him. Not just for this, but for everything else; for pretending to be Alex and making me think I've lost my mind.
Alex gently touches my hand and it subdues me. "We'll step out so you can dress, but hurry, okay?"
"I didn't agree to that." Nicholas moves towards us, but Alex pushes him back again, and his shoulder slams into the wall as he fights to keep his footing.
"You don't need to be a fucking pervert," Alex says in a firm voice. "Now, step out and let her change. She won't go anywhere."
Nicholas studies me for an eternity, then his eyes dim to a deep brown as he winds a path around me. He squeezes between us and the towel rack, and heads to the doorway. "You have one minute." He goes out into the hall and Alex follows, giving me a lingering last glance before he shuts the door.
I hurry and pull on my jeans and a black t-shirt, then twist my hair up into a messy bun with a few bobby pins I find in a drawer.
"Fifteen seconds," Nicholas shouts from the other side of the door.
Panicking, I glance at the window and consider jumping out and making a run for it. Maybe the risk of freezing to death is worth it? Before I can arrive at a definite decision the door swings open and the knob bangs against the wall.
Nicholas struts inside with the crystal ball in the palm of his hand and Alex is just behind him. "Times up."
I really, really dislike this guy. "What exactly am I supposed to do with it?" I ask as I put my hands on my hips and stare at the crystal.
"Put your hand on it," he instructs as he elevates his arm so the crystal ball is closer to my face.
I glance at Alex and he nods once. I summon a deep breath and tell myself I'm not afraid, that I've lived without fear forever and that this vile, toxic feeling intensifying in me really means I'm hungry. As my fingers brush the cold glass, there's a burst of light and warmth that inundates my body. My body jolts forward as the sink, shower and mirror evaporate into light. A tunnel forms in front of my face and twists toward me. I try to back away, but I can't tell what's up and what's down. I feel my limbs disconnect, but there is no pain, only soft tugs. I fall apart and collapse into a tunnel, unsure where I will end up.
