Fortune {Star Trek Enterprise Fan Fiction}

The Launch of the USS Bluebird

"Sir, every woman on the ship has a crush on the captain. Or, at least, I know I do." – Deborah Haddon

"We're all science types. Lucky we can dress ourselves when we're out of uniform." – Chandler (Chip) Masterson

=/\=

Jonathan got up and left the Ready Room, taking Porthos with him, "Commander T'Pol, you have the Bridge," he said to the Vulcan. She nodded to him and he departed.

He didn't really know where he was going. This wasn't a planned excursion. He just wanted to get away a little bit, and clear his head.

Perhaps what had affected Navigation was affecting him a little bit. Or maybe it was really Reed, and Travis, and thinking about Deb and all that had happened. He hadn't been in love with her, not really, and she hadn't been in love with him. It had been a crush on her part, a wholly one-sided situation. He knew that she was better off. That much was obvious. She was with Masterson, and he was a good person and a decent officer and becoming a better one. He was goofy and funny and certainly better-suited to her than he was.

Still, it was a pang.

Not jealousy.

No.

It was envy.

Envy that he – they – were settling into togetherness. And he was not.

It was a place that he had to admit he wanted to be. But he didn't know the coordinates, didn't know the pathway. It was mysterious, uncharted, unfamiliar territory. And no matter what he seemed to do, he always seemed to be going in the wrong direction.

He found himself in the cafeteria. He hadn't intended to go there. It was undoubtedly Porthos who had directed him along. Beagles were chowhounds. He knew that, and sometimes it was a struggle to keep the little fellow eating right. He had put his love and his attention and his concern into the dog, and that was fine, and it was appropriate. But it wasn't enough.

And that's when he saw her.

She wasn't on shift yet, and it wasn't mealtime, yet there was Deb, grabbing a small salad from the display case. She saw him and smiled, "Will you join me?" she asked. There was no one else there.

"Sure," he said, taking coffee from the dispenser. He sat across from her, "How are you doing with things?"

"Oh, fine," she said, "A little kicking – it's a bit surprising at first."

"Is that a particular craving you're having?" he asked, indicating the salad.

"It's for ginger. The Mandarin Ginger dressing that Chef makes? I could practically just tip the container back in my mouth and drink it these days. I suspect this kid is going to love Chinese food."

"Maybe," Jonathan smiled a little, "Do you know – if you'll tell me – if you're having a boy or a girl?"

"A boy," she said, "We're going to name him Kenneth."

"That's great," he said, "Uh, Deborah, I have a question."

"Uh, okay," she dug into her salad after slathering dressing all over it.

"Are you, uh, are you happy?"

"Happy?"

"Yes."

"I, uh, Jonathan," she said his name softly, like she always had, "is there a reason for this question?"

"I just want to be sure that everything is all right," he said.

"Nothing more?"

"I, uh, Deb," he said, "I know that you and Chip are good together."

"We are," she said between bites, "He, uh, nobody loves me like he does."

"Good. I just, I never, ever wanted you to be hurt."

"I know. The circumstances were wrong," she said, "And I don't see us as getting here," she patted her belly, which wasn't that convex yet.

"Me, uh, me neither."

"Do you wish for that in your life?"

"A bit," he said, "I just don't know how. I don't, I don't know the way."

"It'll come to you," she said, "I feel it."

He was about to answer her when Shelby Pike came in.

The moment gone, he and Porthos left, and he was left wondering where the start of the pathway was, and where it would lead.

It seemed far, and uncertain, and he didn't like being lost.

=/\=

"You might want to stop calling me sir." – Jonathan Archer

=/\=

"I want to know about friendship," said Q.

"That's wise," Lili said, "Friends can often turn into lovers, and vice versa."

"But not always."

"Definitely not. It's not a one-to-one correspondence. Are you and Kathryn friends, Q?"

"Hmm. She'd be foolish not to be friends with me."

"That's not the answer to the question, and you know it."

"Hmm. There are a lot of aspects to friendship," Q allowed, "Perhaps another main event could help you to tell me about them?"

"Sure," Lili said, picking up the baby, "Nothing too loud or scary – I want to take him with me this time."

"All right," Q said, and the scene began to change.