Leave Your Mark | Various!BNHA x Reader

43: Happiness in Spades

As it so happens, the man Chisaki just declared war upon is also not having a good day.

Shigaraki barely managed to escape in time. The invasion was a total failure, even after the lengths he went to in order to secure such a strong weapon. The Nomu was blown away by All Might and later retrieved by the heroes. Not only did he fail in killing the Symbol of Peace, but he also lost a meaningful asset. So much for All Might supposedly being weakened. He looked like he was at the top of his game, goddammit.

It's just so unbelievably frustrating. To be honest, Shigaraki was already struggling before, even prior to All Might showing up. Those brats from U.A kept interfering. That one kid with the explosion Quirk was irritating as all hell, but worst of all was the boy who kept using his ice to immobilize the Nomu, and at one point, he actually seemed like he would succeed in burning the Nomu to a crisp. Now, Shigaraki finds himself lying on the floor of his dingy bar hideout, with blood leaking from the bullet wounds he sustained earlier. It hurts like a bitch. He's frustrated, in pain, and practically seething with rage.

Something isn't quite right, though. Shigaraki thought that the act of losing would be the most bitter pill to swallow. After all, it makes sense why he'd be upset. This was the best opportunity he had to put All Might out of commission. He even had a bunch of students as hostages. If only he'd played his cards right, maybe he could have forced All Might into surrendering himself over. Everything was his for the taking, but he fumbled the boss fight and ended up with a game over.

That's why it's so strange. He should be thinking about his loss, above all else. He should be, and yet...

He keeps thinking about what you said to him instead.

Back then, you apologized to him. While you were on the brink of death, struggling to stay conscious, with tears streaming down your cheeks, you actually said sorry. To him. You spoke as if you knew him on a personal level. You spoke as if you'd seen his suffering firsthand. You spoke as if, to some degree, you could actually understand him.

Shigaraki scowls. How ridiculous. Of course you don't understand him. The only person who's ever understood him is his master, All For One. Even then, his master still can't understand him entirely. He can only sympathize and lend his support. Shigaraki's anguish is, and always has been, his own.

He doesn't get it. No matter how much he thinks about it, he just can't seem to come up with an explanation as to why you said those words to him. It's very possible that it was purely the incoherent rambling of someone forced to come to terms with their own mortality. You were probably barely even lucid when you spoke to him. Shigaraki isn't an idiot. He knows that on an objective basis, you have absolutely no reason to ever feel bad for him.

Still. There's that seed of doubt that remains, even now. Your expression, and the tone of your voice, makes him want to believe that you meant what you were saying. He yearns for it, even if it's shameful to admit. He wants to know what you saw in him that day. He wants to know why it felt like you were staring right into his soul.

"Sensei," Shigaraki mumbles, feeling slightly dizzy from the blood loss. "There was a girl there."

After a noticeable pause, a voice fills the room, transmitting from across a screen.

"What girl?"

"One of the students. I nearly killed her. I'd met her before, and her older brother really pissed me off at the time, so I thought I'd take my anger out on her, but... she was weird. She said a bunch of things that didn't make any sense, and now it's driving me insane."

"How so?"

"I don't know. It just pisses me off," Shigaraki mutters, and as frustrated as he is, he doesn't find himself scratching at his neck. The itch feels different than usual. For once, he's not overwhelmed with the urge to kill. It's something else. Something that he can't quite make sense of. This emotion may as well be foreign to him.