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I live every day to survive but to live doesn't mean your alive.
- Niki Manaj

Do you remember when you were a kid with no worries at all you did was color in coloring books and you'd sleepovers with friends? Basically you lived in your own little world oblivious to the catastrophe going on around you.

That is until you start to understand things and learn life lessons, mistakes, regrets, struggle. You also start to realize that you have to work for what you want it can't be handed to you by your mother or father anymore. I used to think when I was younger everything was handed to me but then I noticed that nothing was really handed to me immediately when I wanted. When I wanted a new Barbie doll from the store I couldn't get it immediately by the time I got it I forget that I even asked for it. That's that's when I stopped asking my mother for things.


When I was old enough to get a job I got one. Most of the things that are in my room today all the things that I've bought with my own money. Sometimes I think my mom is embarrassed that she couldn't buy me the same things I wanted. No we do not live in 4 bedroom house or have a brand new car in the driveway.

We actually live in a one bedroom apartment in the slums of New York City with rats and cockroaches crawling in our walls. Sometimes I'm afraid to go to sleep because these things crawling on me in the middle of the night so most of the time I don't get that much sleep. Other times I'm just too tired from a long day of work enough to care.

If you're wondering why I only mentioned my mother is because I don't know who my father is and I decided not to care. He left my mother to fend for herself not giving us a second thought, probably living in a big house with a whole different family. Not only did he abandon her but he abandoned me I would at least they did he have enough heart to come visit me or try to find me but guess not I most certainly feel forgotten about.

Right now I'm getting dressed for school and no I don't have the flashiest clothes but I don't have the worst either. After I dress myself in a black t-shirt with a skull & crossbones on it-paired with some white converse.

I looked at myself in the mirror and all I saw was a boy with light pale skin, dark circles under his green eyes with brown shaggy hair that just stuck out in different directions. I didn't have many muscules but that's something that I can't just change overnight so interested I choose to ignore it. I grabbed my red backpack and headed towards the front door. Noticing that the house was eerily quiet probably meaning that my mother left for work already.

I made my way out of the apartment building onto the main street not surprised that it was covered in rain. Glad that I remember to stuff a hoodie in my bag I pulled it over my head and curse myself for forgetting my umbrella.

The school isn't that far so I think I can make it if I speed walk.

With that in mind I started to walk quickly but carefully just in case I slip- trust me its happened before. I see the brick school building coming up in quickened my pace.

I finally make it inside in praise the Lord that I get didn't get as wet as I thought I would. I swiftly make my way through the crowded hallway towards my locker. When I get there I quickly put in my combination and switch out my books shoving the things I don't need inside and closing it back. Right as I'm about to turn around I slam into a hard chest and all stuff is knocked to the ground. Sparks shot up through my body and fingertips. I ignore the way that they left me breathless and mumbled a quick sorry to the person I had yet to make eye contact with. I gather my stuff off the ground and noticed another hand helping me. I reached out and grabbed my notebook from from the stranger's hand and finally looked up.

My mouth fell open at the most handsome man I have ever seen. This guy had to be at least 64 and easily towered over my small frame. He had black soft wavy looking hair that I wanted to run my fingers through with defined cheekbones and a chiseled jaw. That's not what caught my eyes it was his emerald green eyes that bored into my own. I suddenly feel a connection almost like a need to touch him.

Noticing that I was still standing in the hallway probably looking like some creeper just staring at hi. I blushed furiously and walked around him as he seemed to be frozen like I was a few seconds ago. I made it to class and sent the teacher an apologetic smile quickly taking my seat in the back with the green eyed boy consuming of the rest of my thoughts the whole class period.
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