Deep in the Starliana kingdom, an ancient shrine fought a losing battle against the passage of time. Condemned to rotting in a lonesome and eclipsing darkness seemed to be its ultimate fate. Such despondent dereliction made the place inhospitable for some, but not for all—
Spectral lights came aflame within the main facility. They focused into spotlights that trained on a curtain. The veil parted to reveal a stage perfectly suited for putting on a show.
From one side, the master of the holy grounds sauntered out to a jazzy tune played by an unseen big band. He swayed two enormous pincers and clacked eight spindly limbs on the platform as he scuttled across. The ghastly creature clothed his fiery-red carapace in robes comprised of a garish patchwork of bright colors that swayed with his rhythmic promenade.
The showboating faux priest came to a stop on center stage where he merrily chuckled.
“AHU AHUH AHUH. Welcome one and all to another exciting episode of the Yōkai Realm’s game show of all time—”
“—AHHHHHHHHHH!”
He was joined by a jam-packed studio audience of demons. After screaming the program’s name, they all engaged in a hearty round of applause, celebrating their adored host’s swagger.
The entertainer aimed his rehearsed smile their way. “You’re in for a bona fide treat today.” He slickly delivered that special bulletin with a pompous grin. “We’ve got celebrity guests joining us. Mr. Gold, Mr. Silver, bring ‘em on out!”
From stage left, a pair of powerful paunchy monsters in fabulously flamboyant frocks appeared.
The one garbed in gold manipulated a rope attached to an overhead pulley. Tugging so roughly on the line caused a body bound from neck-to-ankle in more rope to wildly swing across the air. Fearful screams coming from them were muffled by a bag over their head. As if they could even be heard anyway over the crowd’s thunderous hollers.
Meanwhile, a cohort of the golden ghoul strutted out in silver with a wooden barrel slung over their shoulder. The sturdy container bounced about on his brawny shoulder right up until he slammed it down behind a raised podium.
At that moment, the hanged figure finally came to a stop behind a second stand where they hung there at the mercy of their captors.
The hard-shelled host strolled over.
“Let’s meet our first celebrity contestant!” He yanked the bag off the suspended victim.
“PUAH HAAAAH HUUUH.”
They took desperate gasps for breath, only to end up getting manhandled by the imposter clergyman clutching their face with his claw. He raised their head up as if to display them to the onlookers.
“This is none other than Prince Lee of Starliana.”
“BOO! HISS!! GET OUT!!!”
Their distaste for him was immediately apparent by an onslaught of verbal curses aimed at him. That wouldn’t be all he would have to endure, though. After managing to pull away, he had to vigorously wriggle his body about to evade rotten food and other garbage hurled at him by the venue’s full house.
Without missing a beat, the introduction continued. “This unmarried bachelor of 17 is currently on the hunt for a queen to share the vast riches of his kingdom with. Hobbies include magic, card games, music, and fancies himself, a lover of professional wrestling. So, Prince Lee, what have you got to say?”
The momentum developed from dodging projectiles allowed Lee to swing right up to his captor, where he indignantly sneered. “GET ME DOWN FROM HERE YOU LOW-LIFE, NO-GOOD—UMMF!”
