My Enemy, My Love

ℭ𝔥𝔞𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔖𝔦𝔵

Thyme [Sea]

Such fucking torture. The night before the wedding, the clockworks in my mind churned faster than I could handle, each thought jagged and relentless, grinding against the edges of my sanity. My head ached with the kind of pain that reduced everything to a haze, rupturing any attempt at clarity or coherence. I hated that feelings - the cloudiness, the inability to see a way out. And I needed someone to blame for the torture of it. Someone to blame for my fury. 

Luka.

It was always Luka. 

Only a few hours remained before I'd be bound to him in marriage. I dreaded the prospect so deeply that, in my most desperate moments, the thought of ending it all crossed my mind. But no. That would be too simple, too merciful - I wanted Luka to suffer, too. He would have given anything to prevent this union, and so I refused to give him the satisfaction in escaping it through my death. We both knew there was no turning back from this nightmare our fathers had orchestrated.  

As I lay awake in bed, the ceiling above me blurred into nothingness. My mind raced through the consequences of this union, this disaster of a marriage that would destroy not only us, but the future of our kingdoms. This conflict between us, this hatred, would only result in self-destruction, tension, negligent decisions...chaos. Did our fathers really believe this could work? Did they believe that our marriage would be a success? 

I certainly did not. 

I cared nothing for Luka's thoughts of feelings on the matter - if he even had them. Knowing him, he likely reveled in my suffering, my frustration. Perhaps he even enjoyed imagining me tossing and turning like this, drowning in my misery. But something about him had changed. He had been uncharacteristically composed throughout that night's festivities. He barely spoke, kept to himself, and seemed preoccupied with his thoughts. 

I half-expected him to taunt me with one his sharp remarks to provoke a reaction. But instead, he stood there, silently scheming, his eyes distant yet calculative. I should have hated that restraint, should have found it unnerving. But what irritated me more was how effortlessly he moved through the party, gliding through the crowd, charming everyone who crossed his path.

He drew people in like moths to a flame, while I fumbled with small talk and forced smiles of gratitude. The ease with which he commanded attention made me awfully jealous. 

And then he looked at me.

That amused glint in his eye, the smirk tugging at the corner of his lips. He knew exactly what he was doing, and it infuriated me. Luka always had a way of turning the tables, of making me feel small, powerless, insignificant. 

I hated him for it.

That night, sleep was a lost cause, so I decided to walk. The palace was silent, the corridors dark except for the faint glow of light spilling out from the candles along the walls. The guests, drunk on wine and exhaustion, had retreated hours ago to their chambers, leaving the grand hall deserted, eery. For once, I found solace in the quiet, a welcome change from the madness of the party - and my restless mind. 

But it did not last longer than a minute. 

My thoughts wandered to Meili and Anurak, my closest friends. I regretted how I had neglected them all summer, how I hadn't written, visited, or even bothered to tell them the full truth of what awaited me. Why had I not sought their advice, their support? I was lost, furious...I had never felt so betrayed by own father, and yet I suffocated in my despair alone?