A/N: This chapter and the last were actually started as one, but got too long. I still want them together though, so i'm uploading early. This means there MIGHT NOT be an upload on Monday, it depends how fast I write as I'm putting Mondays upload up now. Thanks for your understanding. :)
Conn, Gunner, and I spent a further fifteen minutes debating our options for how to find Will, while Katie and Fenn listened in near silence. However, when we headed for the stairs, Katie deviated towards the dojo to train rather than coming with us. To be fair to her, I wouldn't have wanted to be near other cohort members, not while knowing the man I loved was being held prisoner and tortured.
In fact, I hadn't wanted to be around other people during similar situations. If Katie wanted to train, to prepare, or simply do something which might vent some of her anger and frustration, then I wasn't going to stop her. Nor was anyone else, for that matter. When Conn appraised her retreating back, I wondered if he'd finally figured out the rest of what hadn't been said.
We were half way up the stairs to the ground floor before he turned to me and asked. "Does Katie love him? Will, I mean?"
At my nod, he gave a bemused, "huh", then headed into Milbank's entrance foyer, apparently unsure what to make of that news.
I wondered if it was a bit of a kick to the gut that his former head-bunny was in love with his best friend. It wouldn't take much for him to realise that she always had been. Oh well. That, much like every other aspect of his love life, was none of my business. I didn't want him to be hurt, but he'd made his bed, for want of a better idiom.
When we reached the crowded dining room, where rows of vampires were waiting for us, I hung back. Wanting to give Conn a chance to prove himself. I only hoped he would.
The first time I'd seen the residents of Milbank gathered together in such a way, there'd been energy in the room. There'd been anxiety, expectation, then grief and fear. However, after all that had happened, the electric buzz had faded away. In its place there was soul deep resignation. Our people expected another catastrophe. They felt helpless against such a thing. We were floundering.
Maybe the residents of Milbank would've been stronger if Conn had looked less brittle. Unfortunately, his once easy, rolling, grace had become stilted. The poise with which he'd once held himself wasn't quite so sure. He was trying, as he made his way to the front of the crowd. He tried to appear as he had once done, as the mighty Sire of the Newcastle Cohort, but it would take time before he recovered the persona completely. He'd have to believe in it himself, before the others would put their faith in it.
My heart went out to him as the first, whispered murmur of "Where's William?" threaded through the crowd.
These were Conn's people and they should want to turn to him. Yet, they didn't believe he could shoulder their burdens and the longer we stood without William's appearance, the more apprehensive they became. Our people cast furtive glances at me, wanting a confirmation of their suspicions, and reassurances that we were working to resolve our latest calamity.
I wasn't prepared to say the words. I couldn't, because I wanted Conn to. I wanted to see him become what he had to be for the cohort, if not for me. However, when he opened his mouth to speak, no words came out. I could feel his panic rising as he took a step back. Before him was a sea of faces, condemning and loyal to another. That was all he could see. He might as well have been facing down an army of the dead, or of the Valkyries who'd been forced to turn against him. The cohort were no more his people than he was their Sire. They were at odds with one another.
"You're fine," I chanted under my breath, so quietly even Fenn missed it as he stood next to me in the doorway of the dining hall. "You're fine. They're your cohort. You are fine."
