It's Complicated

Chapter 10: Travis Stanton

I stand at the end of my driveway, looking in all directions.

She is nowhere to be seen.

~ ~ ~

“Kacey,” I say, holding down the button for her apartment. “Kacey, please talk to me.” I let go of the button, hoping for a response. It’s about a half hour after she left. After running back in the house, I’d called her at least twenty times, but she wouldn’t pick up the phone. I texted her multiple times, too. She wouldn’t reply to any of those either. I spent about ten minutes driving up and down my road, looking for her. Eventually, I decided to come to her home. As soon as I got here, I knew she was here. I didn’t see her, but it was as if I could feel she was here. “Kacey.” I rest my forehead on the wall just next to the speaker and close my eyes. “Please tell me what’s wrong.” I take in a breath.

“There is nothing wrong,” her voices crackles over the intercom. “There is nothing to talk about. So just leave.”

I press down on the button and say, “I’m not leaving until you tell me why you—” my voice cracks, and I let go of the button. I have to force down gulps of air and I press the button again. “Can you just let me in so we can talk?” There is a long silence.

“Travis,” she says quietly. “There is nothing left to talk about. We’re through.” Her voice cracks. “The sooner you accept that, the easier this will be. So just leave me alone.” I don’t know how, but I can hear the pain in her voice through the intercom.

“I can promise you,” I say with the button down. “I won’t be leaving any time soon. So either let me in, or you come down.”

“Travis, please,” she speaks softly. “Just go.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” I say just as quietly. “I can’t. I care too much. Kacey, I love—” There is a loud screeching sound from the intercom. She must be holding her button. She’s cutting me off the only way she can. I let go of the button and the screeching stops, replaced by another noise. It takes me a second to realize that it’s Kacey… Sobbing. She must still be holding the button. I lift my forehead off of the wall and stare at the speaker. Is me being here really hurting her this much? I faintly hear her gasp before the intercom goes silent. I press down on the button.

“Kacey. I’m so sorry.” My eyes water. “But, I care about you too much to just leave. I can’t just walk away.” I choke back the tears. I can’t cry. Not now. “But if you can truthfully tell me you don’t love me too, then I will leave.” I let go of the button and wait. Agonizing minutes of waiting.

“Travis,” her voice finally comes through. She sounds choked up. “I don’t love you, okay?” Her words hit me like a punch to the gut. For a solid minute, I can’t breathe. “So just leave me alone.” And the intercom goes silent.

~ ~ ~

Flipping through the channels, I settle on the four-o-clock news. I lean up against my headboard and stare intently at the screen. I need something to distract me. Anything. The current story is about the reasons behind the rising gas prices.

I try to focus on the story, but no matter how hard I try, my mind can’t stay focused on it for long. I keep thinking about Kacey, the hurt in her beautiful blue eyes, the way she disappeared, why she would… I fight back the tears for the hundredth time this afternoon. I won’t cry. I won’t let myself cry over her. I won’t.

I can’t understand why she would break up with me. I thought we were okay and that things were going great. Was it maybe because I took so long to try to kiss her? No. I’ve tried to kiss her before, but she would always break the moment. Was she maybe just tired of our relationship? No. I saw the hurt in her eyes. It seemed like she didn’t want to break up; like she had to do it for some reason. Was it because of how I’ve been acting? I mean, I was treating her horribly today. But, why would she give up because I was a complete jerk for one day? It doesn’t make sense. Well, at least I know why she wouldn’t look at me earlier, and why she said she needed to talk to me.

I hold the remote tightly in my hand. I feel like this is all my fault. I must have done something wrong. I must have said or done something… I point the remote at the television and turn up the volume, trying to drown out my thoughts. It doesn’t work.

Suddenly, the report is interrupted by a “Breaking News” graphic on the screen. I sit up against the head board and fold my legs up against my chest to a more comfortable position. A reporter appears on the screen. She is standing in front of a small house that is roped off, police buzzing around the building.

“It’s just in,” she says loudly. “A ‘911’ call was answered this afternoon at this residence, reporting a home robbery in progress. The crime was stopped, though officials have not yet revealed how. It is speculated that it was the same ‘Girl In Black’ who has stopped multiple crimes all throughout the city.” The screen flashes to a family sitting on the front porch. A young man and his wife calm the young girl I would assume is their daughter. “No injuries were reported. As always, we will let you know more information as it is revealed to us.”

The screen goes back to the two anchors in the newsroom. The female anchor turns to the male anchor and says casually, “Have you noticed the recent rise in criminal activity lately? It’s very odd, is it not?” The man nods his head and turns to the camera.

“We’ll be back after this short message from our sponsors,” he says, and then turns back to his fellow anchor as the camera pans out and then changes to commercials. I turn off the television and stare at the blank screen.

It all seems too coincidental. Kacey leaving right before a crime happens. And it’s not like this was the first time. Just the other day, she left our date the same night that bank was robbed. And, at the jewelry store heist, I swear it was Kacey. But she would tell me, wouldn’t she? Then again, she never told me that she could play the piano. And that is such a small thing to hide, and she has no reason to hide it. What would stop her from hiding more from me? For all I know, everything she’s told me is a lie. I feel myself getting angry, but at what, I’m not sure. Maybe at her. Maybe at all the lies. Maybe that’s why she left me. Maybe she was tired of lying all the time.

Without thinking, I lean forward and throw the remote across the room. It hits the opposite wall with a crack and falls to the carpet in three pieces. Tears sting my eyes. Why did you have to leave? I didn’t mind the lies. I didn’t.

I cross my arms over my legs and press my closed eyes against them. I won’t cry. I won’t cry. I won’t cry. But even as I sit there with my eyes closed, all I can see is her. Short blond hair, beautiful blue eyes, soft features, lean body, that smile that spreads to her eyes. So, for just this once, I let myself cry.