Unexpected

Seventeen

Jackson's POV:

Heavy, heavy was one of the words that came to mind as I looked across the table at my daughter - at Mya.
She was beautiful, stunning actually inside and out, and it dug the knife in a little bit deeper knowing that who she had become was nothing to do with me.

Her big, blue eyes filled with tears as she grabbed my hand.

"I don't know what to say to you" her voice was barely a whisper "That story, your story - your life, I just"

"Don't say anything, that story - I never told you to make you feel sorry for me, I told you so you would know"

I took a deep breath, exhaling harshly as my own emotions threatened to take over,

"Mya" eyes that were so much like mine looked back at me, the tears that had overflowed had stained her cheeks and still she was absolutely gorgeous,

"Your Mum is the most amazing woman I have ever known, and Carson - well we may have never agreed on anything, shit - I could never stand the guy, but he has done everything I never could, he has been the man I never could be, the husband, friend, uncle I could never be, Mya - Carson has been the father I couldn't have been. I understand if you hate me Mya and I honestly couldn't hold it against you if you walked out of here any never spoke to me again, but with everything in me I hope you stay"

I'd laid it all out on the table, my story - the bad and the ugly, I don't know what I expected her to say or how she was going to react - when she stood - I instantly thought it was her making her choice to leave, there was no part of me that expected her to walk over to me, to pull me to my feet so she could wrap her arms around me.

I'd never held her - 24 years had passed us by and not once had I held my daughter in my arms, not until this moment. Her face pressed against my chest and I'm that moment there was no doubt I would never, ever want to let her go.

It took me awhile to catch my breath after Mya left and, we made plans to catch up for dinner, my daughter and I and Knox and Evie of course, It was hard to miss the way Mya's face lit completely up at the mention of the two of them.
I'd known Knox for awhile now, he was a good guy, damn good mechanic and seemed to dote on his little girl so despite the fact I had absolutely no right to voice my opinion about the relationship - I really don't think I would object to it anyway.

I knew this next conversation was unavoidable the moment Mya walked into the bar. Still my stomach was twisted in knots while I waited for her to answer the phone, and the moment she did, hearing her soft voice - was like no time had passed at all. 

"Hello"

"Hey Scar"

"Jackson" Her tone was low, and I couldn't help but smile that she knew it was me with one word,

"Hey baby" I couldn't help myself, it was habit and I was too old now to try and change it,

"I can't believe it's really you, it's been such a long time Jackson, but my god is it good to hear your voice"

I couldn't help but chuckle a bit,

"Fuck Scar you have no idea how I feel in this moment"

"Actually Jackson, I know exactly how you are feeling right now, because I feel it too"

"Shit I have missed you baby, so fucking much, every god damn day I missed you, your beauty, your touch, the sound of your voice"

"I have missed you too Jax" her voice dropping to a whisper for just a moment, "Tell me how is she?"

"Scar she is amazing, she is so grown up and level headed, smart and funny and so bloody beautiful I cannot believe she is mine"

"Oh I can" Scarlett laughed "Gorgeous, determined, headstrong - sound like anyone"

This time I was laughing too, pausing to enjoy the silence for just a moment before I continued,

"Scar - I really am sorry, for everything, for every time I fucked up with you  and I know there was a lot of them"

"Jax stop, just stop - I'm not sorry, not even a little bit, and I never will be, I'm not angry at you - god Jackson I come to realise how hard and useless it can be to stay mad at the people you love. I will never forgot what we had Jackson, I can't - because without you, I wouldn't be me, without you - I wouldn't have her. So don't tell me you are sorry Jax, and I won't say I'm sorry to you, what I need to tell you Jackson is this, I love you Jackson Knight, I always have and I always will"

Nothing, not even her words could make me feel enormous waves of regret in that moment. Regret for everything I had given up, everything I had walked away from, love is such a funny thing - but it was real, Scarlett, Mya - they were real, and they would always, always be mine.