Trapped Like Crazy

Prologue: So Who's Crazy?

"Miss Schneider, it's time to take your pills." The nice nurse told me. I hated those pills so much. Especially when I first started taking them because I had so many side effects. They always gave me a massive headache and I ended up staring at my padded ceiling wishing I could just die. But I never did, I always just fell asleep, and repeated it again the next day.

I look up at her with a tired smile and accept them. I learned early on that it was best not to put up a fight in a psych ward. They already thought I was crazy; fighting them would only make them sedate me with a needle.

And I hated needles.

I put them in my mouth, drink the water and hand her the paper cup back before she checks under my tongue. Patients had a nag for hiding their pills under their tongues for multiple reasons. Either to collect them to take them for an ultimate high or a lethal overdose. 

I didn’t like them enough to do either. 

Once she's satisfied, she leaves the room. I spit out the pills and tuck them away. I've gotten good at hiding them in the back of my mouth. I wasn’t going to take something to incapacitate myself. I had enough problems as is. One being, I was in a psych ward. 

I kind of wish this psych ward was dirty and grimy. Not clean and pristine, with nice workers like it was. It would make me want to leave as soon as possible. But it was comfortable here. And even though I thought I was falsely committed, I couldn’t be sure that I wasn’t falsely committed. With everything that had taken place in the last year, I couldn’t be sure I didn’t belong here. 

I roll over onto my side and watch as Carlisle struggles against the nurses trying to hold him down. I begged him day after day not to fight them, but day after day, he did. It always ended up the same way, each and every day. I hear a loud thud and I look at Carlisle who is being held down by two men in white and he's screaming for me. I know he’s trying to tell me something, but his words sound like white noise to me. I look at his mouth and I see his lips moving, but I can’t hear a word he’s saying. 

After he’s squirming, kicking and yelling something at me. And finally I make out the words, I love you. Once they give him his needle full of antipsychotic medicine, he stops fighting and suddenly become limb. His mint green eyes start to close and I get worried. This had never happened before, they must be upping his dosage.  

They throw him in a room with me. While nice, this ward was somewhat crowded and while they saw as harmful to ourselves, they knew we would never hurt each other.

Carlisle lies on his back, seemingly gasping for air as he dazed in and out of consciousness. I wait until the nurses disappear and I run over to him to make sure he’s okay, he had to be okay.

“Carlisle! Stay awake, please. I need you to stay awake. Please, please don’t go.” I plead as tears rolled down my face. Why was this happening to me! Carlisle was all I had right now, I was afraid that if he fell asleep, he’d never wake up. I couldn’t deal with another loss.

“I can’t Elli, listen to me,” His voice is barely audible and I have to place my head closer to his mouth. “I’m going to be fine, but I cannot stay awake much longer.”

“Carlisle, please.”

“Lay on me, we’ll be okay, I promise.” He requests and I comply. I feel like there’s no hope for us anymore. We were going to rot in here. We didn’t know who committed us, all we knew was that I was admitted for self-mutilation as well as hallucinations and Carlisle was being treated for hallucinations. They didn’t treat me because I wasn’t resisting it. I told them I wasn’t having any hallucinations and the tests proved they didn’t. Carlisle didn’t comply so they assumed he was, that’s all I knew.

He put his arm around me and barley managed to kiss my head before he whispered, "We've got to get out of here." 

I nodded in agreement.  

The question was, which one of us were actually crazy?