Ever Victorious (A Michael Jackson Tale)

Helpless and Hopeless

Maria's P.O.V

I didn't want to stare but I couldn't help it. From his wrists there were large pale blotches which looked like they were spreading slowly up his arm. It looked like he had been tanned in the sun, but backwards.

"Michael..." I didn't know what to say. He pulled his arm out of my hands and looked away from me, as if he was ashamed. He sighed deeply.

"I didn't want you to see... I'm sorry, I have this...thing and I can't stop it or control it. There's no cure. I hate it, it's ruining my life. First acne and now this. I can't tell you how much I hate myself... I'm just... ugly. Sometimes I wish I could just hide away and not come back..."

I could hear his voice crack as he started to get emotional, it made my heart sink to my stomach.

"Don't you dare say that Michael, it's not your fault... I'm not going to force it out of you, but you can tell me if you want, I'll listen... Please, I- I want to help, you don't have to do this alone"
He got off the bed and started pacing the room, I had never felt so helpless.

"It's called vitiligo, it's rare and it's basically unknown. If people saw, they'd say things about it and I can't... I won't have people pointing out my flaws anymore... it's like God has given me my gifts but he didn't want anybody to like me so he made me look like this. And it's gonna spread all over and... it's like I am disappearing, I'm fading away, I'm a ghost. I'm sorry you had to see this" He began to roll his sleeve down again.

I got up and stood in front of him, putting my hand out to stop him hiding away again and looked him deep in the eyes, it was the only way I could make sure he was listening.

"Michael, you saw those children on that ward. I see things, things much, much worse than what you have every day. I see kids with top to toe burns, Destiny is scarred all over her body from meningitis. I've seen skin pale because of cancer or just because they're losing their lives. It hurts to see them in that way, but it's my job to make them feel normal, like children, like human beings, and that's what you have to remember, you are you and anyone can see just how amazing you are... Is it just on your arms Michael?"

He shook his head "No it's... it's on my sides too."

I took his arm and kissed where the blotches were. He went to pull away but then put my hands on his shoulders and kissed me gently. I could tell that he was trying to distract me from looking at his skin, but I wasn't fooled that easily.

I ran my hands over his shirt and undid a few buttons until he grabbed my hand "Maria-"
"I'm not going to hurt you Michael, I just want to see how perfect you are" He chuckled sarcastically but dropped my hand.

I had undone his shirt and was staring at his smooth chest. On each side of him I could see the beginnings of more blotches, but these were not as severe as he had made them out to be.

"You're so beautiful" I breathed.

"Well if I'm beautiful then there are no words to describe you Miss Rose" My heart quickened at his husky, soft voice. When he said my name like that I couldn't function. Be still my beating heart, I thought.

He took my chin in his hand just how he had when we kissed for the first time and pressed his lips to mine just as sweetly, but then more deeply.
My legs started to shake as electricity flowed through my body, I couldn't think, only feel the need pouring out of both of us. He stroked his hands down my arms, making me shiver. Nothing made me feel more alive than his touch.

He stepped me backwards until I was up against the wall, only breaking the kiss for a split second to catch a breath. I ran my hands slowly over his exposed chest and wrapped my arms around his middle, pulling him closer to me.

Suddenly, he pulled away, walking back and sitting on the bed. I went to join him, with the obvious thought in my mind, but he reached his arm out to keep me at a distance.

"We shouldn't..." He said between panting breaths.
"What? Why? Is it something I did?" I whined, it was quite embarrassing, I was acting like a child who had just been denied sweets or something.

He chuckled lightly at my disappointment.

"No, definitely not. I just don't... want to take advantage of you... the last thing I want is to rush things... I'm in the middle of a tour and soon I'll be leaving..."
"Then take me with you, I'd follow you to the ends of the Earth, Michael, you should know that." He shook his head.

"That's why we shouldn't... you have your life here, you have a job, friends, family, what about little Destiny? You can't leave her, you love those children too much and I'm not taking that away from you okay? Me on the other hand, I have no ties, I can go to the ends of the Earth because people will make it possible for me to do so. Plus my life is always on the move too, right now I have to be completely dedicated to my work, I can't have... distractions as beautiful and as tempting as you"

The last comment made me blush, but I couldn't help feeling gutted.

After the feeling passed I then felt guilty. He was right, I couldn't just run away with him, as amazing as that would be. For that split second I had been utterly selfish, those children were everything to me, there was no way I could let them down like that, just how Michael felt about letting his fans down. It was a hopeless situation and I hated the idea that I was going to lose him.

"I should go..." In the time I had spent lost in my thoughts, he had done up his shirt again and was walking towards the door.

Then the tears started to fall.

"Michael! Please, don't leave..." But he was already descending the stairs. I rushed down after him and when we reached the bottom of the staircase, I blocked his path.
"Y-you can't leave" I looked around desperately for an excuse and then I spotted the bottle of wine on the coffee table from earlier. I walked over to it and picked it up, it was strangely light.

"When you said you'd had three glasses..."
He came over to me and looked inside the bottle and giggled. The depressive atmosphere I was feeling suddenly lightened. I knew he wouldn't leave in this state.
"Ah. Perhaps I had a few more than that..." He looked slightly guilty but no less amused.

"You can have my bed, I'll sleep in Roxanne's room... you really don't want to sleep in there, trust me" I felt myself cringe as I remembered the things I had witnessed going in and out of that bedroom, although I was seriously considering doing the same thing about ten minutes ago.

I grinned at the thought of what she would say, knowing I would never tell her.

"That's better, see you do have a smile on that pretty face of yours" He was making me blush again, it was hopeless trying to fight against the way he made me feel.

As we said goodnight, there was an energy between us, it was thick and made me feel heady, but in a good way. When he left and closed the door, I couldn't help but wonder how I was so close to waking up beside him.

*