C.H.E.R.U.B

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"Well, howdy! I'm Cletus! Welcome to Heaven! Guess you did somethin' good to get here, and good people deserve to give loved ones special blessin's!"

Collin:
Does it make you want to cry

Keenie:
When your loved one has to die?

Cletus:
Does it hurt you through and through

Cletus, Collin, Keenie:
When your face is turnin' blue?

Collin:
Well, luckily for you...

Keenie:
There's somethin' we can do!

Cletus:
We can help keep them alive,

Cletus, Collin, Keenie:
So you can watch them thrive!

'Cause here at C.H.E...R.U.B.!

Collin:
We'll save your honeybun from dying violently!

Cletus, Collin, Keenie:
'Cause here at C.H.E....R.U.B.!

Keenie:
No, we never even ask a fee!

Collin:
Because good people spread the love!

Keenie:
And we're here for all above!

Cletus:
We do the paperwork for you!

Collin:
And the heavy liftin', too!

Cletus:
So sit right back

Cletus, Collin, Keenie:
And let us bless a soul for you!
Oh, we... are the C.H.E.R.U.B.!

-

The television the commercial was playing on got shot by Blitzø, Y/n clapping as it exploded everywhere, putting a shield around herself and the others.

"Nice one, B!" Millie cheered.

"Gimme another, babe!"

Moxxie cleaned the debris while Y/n snapped her fingers, another television appearing, this one playing the 666 News.

"Eh, not feeling it," he said, pouring gunpowder down the flintlock. "Next!"

She flipped the station to a Betty Boop rip-off, seductively dancing. Moxxie flinched back, Y/n watched intentionally, and Blitzø and Millie looked bored.

"Really, babe?"

"I am a simple girl with simple taste."

"Uh-huh. Keep going, keep goin', keep goin'..."

She flipped the station to Wally Wackford. "I say, I say, are you lookin' to get work making crazy contraptions and goofy gadgets? WELL, call me at Wacky Wally Wackford's Wacky Idea Factory! where you make the things and I make the money!" Up close to the camera, he began to beg, "Please! I'm very desperate!"

"Bingo!" He shot the television, blowing it up.

"WHOO! You are on a roll, sir!"

The sudden violent shaking arose Loona from sleep, spilling the cup of water on her desk to the ground. "Guys, do you feel that?"

Blitzø grabbed Y/n close, huddling against her waist. "Oh, shit, it's a hellshake!"

"That's possible?" Moxxie asked calmly.

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