And All I Saw Was Darkness

Chapter 4- When things started to suck...(a.k.a. highschool)

So freshman year i lost my virginity to my crush, Ricky. And like i kinda already said, he spread rumors about me. Bitch. That ass said that i was a sex addict...like really?! Says the guy who sleeps with every girl he can get. Which..i guess i'm one of his sluts he had a quicky with. But anyway, those rumors got around to pretty much everyone in the entire school. So my life was complete hell. ***BTW THIS IS ALL IN MY FRESHMAN YEAR***

Guys only talked to me because they wanted to have sex with me. Literally every guy in the school tried hooking up with me. But what Ricky doesn't get, or probably never will get, is that i really like him, and even though i barely know him, i trusted him. He hurt me. In more ways than one. I was pretty sore after we had sex. **Yeah, i know, TMI!** Ricky never looked at me. EVER. Like i said, i was one of his one night stands, one of his sluts. Though everyone believed Ricky's stupid rumors, i wasn't gonna go down without a fight. It still hurt though. I lost a lot friends because of the rumors. He had to pay. He broke my heart into a million different pieces. Revenge definitely was my answer to all my problems.

The next few days, i started spreading some rumors about Ricky. How  we slept together, and i gave him an STD. That he's just as dirty as i am. Of course, everyone believed "the slut" and it got around in less than 2 hours. By the end of 3rd period, everyone thought Ricky had an STD. Perfect.

"OMG Stacy did you hear?! Ricky has an STD from one of the sluts he banged!" Liah yells running after me in the hallways.

"Yeah..i heard..that must suck. I would say poor Ricky, but he doesn't deserve it. Maybe he should stop having sex all together. I mean, who's gonna sleep with him now? No one wants to eff with an STD." i said overexaggerating. I wanted everyone in the hallway to look at him differently. He was no better than the sluts he banged.

Yeah, my plan completely back fired. Ricky straightened everything out. I should never underestimate the power of the popular. He even took a test and showed everyone around the school. So..that didn't work. But maybe talking to him will? I highly doubt it...but it's worth a try.

 The next time i see Ricky, he's hanging out by my 6th period with Jesse and all them. If i could just get him alone, maybe i could figure all this out. I don't need this type of stress right now. The bell rang for 6th period to start. Everyone walked in different directions. Soon, it was just me and Ricky in the halls.

"HEY." I yell. He turns around and smiles at me. He's got some nerve.

"Umm..hey." he says walking towards me.

"We need to talk. You need to take all the rumors about me back. They aren't true, and you know it." i look him directly in the eye. I'm so furious with him, i can't even look at what he's wearing..or how he smells. God, why do i like jerks?!

"Look, i didn't spread ANY rumors about you. Trust me, no one knows we slept together. I mean, they thought we did cause of that rumor about me having an STD..but yeah, no one knows. Just me and you..and probably your friends. You were pretty emotional that night. Feeling better?"

"Go to hell. You called me a slut after we did it and you know how important a girl's first time is to her. You ruined it. I know you spread those rumors. Who else would?" my head felt like it was on fire. I was raging with anger.

"Are you kidding me?! I know exactly who would. Your little friend Caroline. Miss goody-goody two shoes doesn't believe in pre-marital sex. If anyone spread those rumors, it was definitely her. So don't go pointing fingers at me when i told you that night i didn't want anyone to know we slept together." he looks pretty angry too.

"Fuck you, Ricky. Care wouldn't do that." I was yelling now. "Trust me, i've known her for 16 years. I believe her over you. You broke my heart and you don't even care. You won't even talk to me. I had to talk to you first. You're such an ass. Don't ever talk to me again. I'm officially done with you." i turned around and walked away. i didn't even look back. I meant what i said..i was done with him. Ricky was no longer my crush. Maybe i should start seeing Matty Mckibben..he's single..and Care's right, he's a good  guy. He's not a Ricky.

"Walk away, princess, Caroline spread those rumors about you and you know i'm right. Nice knowing you, Stace!." Ricky yells as he turns away. Fuck him. Who needs him? Not me. He just ruined my life. I did need to talk to Care though...what if Ricky was right? What if Care did spread those rumors...maybe that's why she brought up Matty in the car that one day.  No, Ricky was wrong. Care would never do that. I won't ask her. I already know the truth.

I don't even go to my 6th period that day. After me and Ricky got in that fight, i just left school. I just walked out. The fat lady in the wheelchair tried to stop me, but she can't get down the stairs 'cause she's in a wheel chair. Sucks being fat.

I get a call from Liah when i get home, "Where are you?" she asks.

"I went home early today. Not a good day." i replied.

"Why?! What happened?!" she said with intrigue.

"Well, i confronted Ricky about the rumors. We got in fight and started yelling in the hallways. He said he didn't spread the rumors, but he had an idea about who did. Liah, he thinks it was Care." i say in about one breath.

"WHAT?! Stace he's crazy. Care would never spread those rumors! She cares about you! Why would she do that?!"

 "Liah, i know, i know! I don't think she did. Its just the way he said it.." I was definitely having second thoughts about this whole rumor and Caroline thing.

 "Stacy, do you really have to question her?! We've all been friends for 14 years. We know how she's like. She'd never do this to you! Look, I'll come over right now. I'll be right there" Liah hung up, and i knew she was probably already in her car driving like a mad man over here. Maybe i should just call Care and ask her. What could possibly go wrong, right?

 "Hey Stace! What's up?!" care answered on the third ring.

"Hey Care, not much. What are you up to right now?" I ask trying to start a conversation before i start bombing her with questions.

"Umm...I'm just hanging out with Latham. He asked me on a date..NBD." i could tell she was smiling.

 "Good for you, Care! Listen, i have a question. Ricky and i got in a fight in the halls today, and well, he said you were the one to spread the rumors about me. He didn't spread em, Care. So, did you? Spread the rumors?" I bit my lip hoping for the answer i wanted to hear.

 Caroline sighed. "Yeah...i did Stace..." there was a long pause for quite sometime before i started yelling. I wanted to cry.

 "CARE, WHAT THE HELL. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOU'VE SEEN WHAT THE RUMORS HAVE DONE TO ME. I CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP ALMOST EVERYNIGHT. YOU KNOW RICKY REALLY HURT ME. YOU KNEW I LIKED HIM. I'M NOT A SLUT BECAUSE I GAVE UP MY VIRGINITY TO THE GUY I LIKE, CARE. IT'S REALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS WHO I SLEEP WITH." i didn't know what else to say, but i knew what she was going to.

 "Look, i don't want to yell right now, i'm with Latham." fuck her. seriously? She had traded me for one of the popular guys, who was EXACTLY like Ricky. What a fucking hypocrite.

 "Care, FUCK YOU. I'M GOING TO YELL. YOU'RE SUCH A FUCKING HYPOCRITE."

 "What the hell does that mean?!" her voice was starting to rise.

 "IT MEANS, LATHAM IS JUST LIKE RICKY. SLEEPS WITH SLUTS, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE ONE OF THEM. ME AND YOU AREN'T THAT MUCH DIFFERENT CARE. I MADE A MISTAKE, SURE. I SHOULDN'T SLEPT WITH RICKY. FOR MANY REASONS. BUT MY FRIENDS ARE SUPPOSED TO BE THERE FOR ME. AND YOU'RE NOT. YOU WERE JUST TRYING TO CLEAN UP THE MESS THAT YOU CREATED."

 "First of all, this is Ricky's mess. He's the one that slept with you. And second, i only spread the rumors so you wouldn't do it again. Stacy we're only 14. We shouldn't be having sex til we're married!" Here she goes with the whole pre-marital sex thing.

"That's you're decision. I believe in pre-marital sex. Why not, Care? Just know, if you follow that rule, you'll never sleep with Latham. You probably won't even date him. He dates girls that put out. You don't. I'm done with you. We're not friends. I hope spreading those rumors were worth it." i hung up. I didn't care what she had to say anymore. Friends don't spread rumors about eachother. I sat down on my bed and cried. What else was there to do?