A girl and her camera

Chapter four

A German slut. A term probably heard quite a lot during the war. But when it comes to this story, 'German slut' went two ways. It could either insult somebody to the point of anger, or upset somebody and reduce them to tears. And to Martha, it did both.

As Martha came and went from the Ghetto, she simply did what she needed to do. She went out, she filmed the few, glimpses of happiness that she could scavange, and she gave the food her mama made her take, to the Maardens. She behaved as only a civil, old family friend could towards Annabella and Karoline, and even towards Samuel. But he flatly, didn't speak to her. Martha knew she was wrong to call him an asshole, and even attempted to apologise for it. But Samuel was either absent from hearing it, or too stubborn to even tolerate her prescience for more than a minute. So once again, Martha was shunned by him. Something she was beginning to get used to.

Despite his anger, Samuel knew that the blame in their rift lay more with him. After all, he was the one who started the arguement, who blatently screamed in her face that he couldn't care less about her, and who drove her to call him an asshole. To say that Samuel felt a little guilty, would be an understatement. Deep down, he felt terrible for hurting his friend, and did want to apologise. But then, there was his stubborness, stopping him again. Telling him that he shouldn't yield to some demon of a girl whom hadn't seen him in ten years. Once again, just when she was close to opening Samuel up; he had to snap shut again, like a clam.

Since Martha felt as if she couldn't tell her family about this, she decided to confess her feelings to the girl who seemed to be the closest confidante she had. Hanna. Hanna, who still hadn't grown used to being somebodies best friend, was surprised when Martha related her arguement with Samuel, back to her. But to Hannas' credit, she did try her best to listen, and used her three-step plan to solving a dilemnia. Elaborate, expand, and offer a solution.

"So you asked him why he was still allowing himself to be black-mailed, he snapped at you, for not being there for him, and that was what started the whole arguement?"

"Yes," Martha sighed, "Then he told me to my face that he never even missed me to begin with, and couldn't care less if I just left again. Apparently, I'm good at that."

Hanna had to conclude on that note that Samuel couldn't be more wrong about Martha. Hanna had known Martha, ever since they started secondary school together. Martha could've chosen to shun her, like all the other children did. But she didn't. And it was then, she could tell that Martha was a true friend. Not like so many others who claimed to be 'friends'. So if Martha did leave Samuel, it couldn't had been done intentionally. That just wasn't what Martha was like.

"Well, I know that's not true." Hanna stated, "And it's certainly not fair of him to say those kind of things."

"I know but..." There was Marthas' own guilt, bubbling up from where she'd stowed it before. "I did call him an asshole. Which I did regret. I mean, aside from what he said that day, he was anything but an asshole."

"Yes, but Martha, you did try to apologise to him. That's the difference. Did he even try to apologise for what he said?"

"...No," Martha's head drooped, "The only thing I've gotten from him was the cold shoulder. And you should've seen the way he looked at me Hanna; it was like he wasn't even looking at me at all. Just straight through me; like glass."

That part was what hurt Martha the most. That Samuel was trying to look straight through her; as if she were transparent. She could talk to him, yell in his face, or even slap him if she wanted to. But none of it would even drive Samuel to just look at her, with some acknowledgement. And that wasn't the worst part of it. The worst part was that he wasn't forced to plague her existance; he chose to. Maybe he was telling the truth, after all. That Samuel couldn't possibly care less.