Chances

Five

"Babe, hurry the fuck up! We're leaving in one minute!" Ash screams as I'm running down the stairs with three bags on my arms.

"Fuck off, Irwin!" I yell as I almost fall down the stairs. He runs up and takes two bags from my hands, leaving me with one. "Thank you, baby." I'm so fucking happy that we've been friends for years, and that we've been calling each other pet names forever. The only bag left that I have is a backpack, so I swing it over my shoulder and run down stairs. God, I am so excited! I haven't left Australia in twelve fucking years.

"Liv, hurry it up!" Mickey calls out the window and I practically jump into the car.

"I'm here, I'm here." I say. I hopped into the front seat, having called dibs the previous night, and Ash sits in the driver seat, because we knew everyone would be asleep most of the drive to the airport so we could be all lovey-dovey and crap.

I plug my phone into the car and press the shuffle button on my music. "Ugly" by Courtney Act comes on.

"The Sun is up and I'm coming down. It's been a while, but I'm burning out. Flipping my fingers on the five-inch screen. Novocaine pictures, comfortably numb to the scene.
Tap it twice if you like it. Tap it twice if you like it, think twice, you may not like it. Like it or not.
I'll let you see the good if you know me, I'll show you all the bad if you love me. But only I know the ugly."

Ash is looking at me with a smile on his face.

"What?" I ask him.

"Nothing, you just have an adorable voice." He giggles. I feel blush crawling up my face. I start to focus on the words pouring out of the speakers, and I start to tear up. Ash looks my way and I turn away from him. "Hey, hey. Why are you crying?" He asks me.

I'm trying to think of a way to tell him what's going on in my mind. I've never really found myself attractive, and ever since I got this haircut, I've been feeling really shitty about my appearance. This song speaks to me on a different level. Whenever I hear it, I get emotional because the lyrics make so much sense. When she says "I'll let you see the good if you know me" is what everybody everywhere is doing, painting a mask on their face for the strangers they pass every day, just so they can impress them for no reason. "I'll show you all the bad if you love me" makes perfect fucking sense. The person this is directed to isn't a stranger, they're connected to the one delivering the message. They're connected beyond the false representation of makeup and beauty, they're connected to the point where they're so god damn close that they can show their naked beauty with each other and not be afraid.

"I'm just thinking." I say and wipe away the fallen tears. I change the subject so I'm not the center of attention. "I'm so fucking excited about this trip!" I practically scream and everyone gives me a "yeah, yeah". Calum speaks up from the back.

"I never realized how much you swear until now." He laughs. Everyone kind of starts giggling and shit until everyone truly realizes how much I swear.

"Okay, fuck off, Calum. Fuck all the way off." I laugh from the front seat.

"Guys, we have another forty-five minutes until we reach the airport, can you shut the hell up?" Michael says.

"Whatever, dude." I say and turn up the volume. Their own song "She's Kinda Hot" comes on. I scream every lyric and the guys are singing along. I try to tune out everyone else singing and try to focus on Ashton's voice. His voice is heavenly. It really sucks that the guys don't let him sing that much, but at least he gets a solo in this song.

I close my eyes and rest my head against the seat. I am so excited about leaving here for a bit, but I'm scared of what awaits me in the world beyond home.