Forever Ranting

Spiders and Insects in General

So if you know me, you'll probably already know that I am terrified of spiders and also very scared of like any other insects.

Now there are different types of people in my life dealing with the issue in very different ways.

1. Absolutely fucking terrified of being within 20 metres of a threatening looking thing and will probably scream and runaway or just look at it and nearly cry when it's stopping you from doing what you want to do and someone who isn't afraid either doesn't give a fuck or can't be bothered to come and kill it for you or has something they'd much rather do. - This is me and I'm pretty sure a couple of my friends are like this too. Please...

2. Mildly scared of the spider/insect, normally when it's big and really scary or could like sting or poison you or is likely to bite, but is able to kill upon demand, most of the time if they can be bothered. Although they don't seem to really care if it's not in a room they have to go in or if it isn't bigger than the size of their thumb they generally will just leave it. - This is my parents and I guess most parents have the same attitude as this. But a lot of the time if you are number 2 then you could also be number 3, they're kind of similar.

3. Hardly ever gets scared by them and tries to calm others down by saying, "Don't worry! It's not going to hurt you!" {May I just tell you that once this woman got bitten it the UK by a common house spider and actually nearly died! I'm not even making a single part of this up! I'm not exaggerating either and neither was she! So you know, they can seriously harm you. #JustSaying } - So this probably includes most of my family and a couple of my friends.

4. Not afraid at all but can sometimes understand why others are and sometimes they just don't get it, even though it's one of the most common fears in the world. Seriously, if you have not heard of arachnophobia then you were probably born today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! - This again can sometimes be combined with number 5 and I guess this is partially some of my friends and family.

5. And finally, these the people who are not only 100% immune to spiders but also - if you don't know my friends or me then look out - they also think that they are cute! These people are definitely the sort who don't understand why others are afraid of spiders and if you ask them to kill one they will refuse to hurt it, but that won't stop them from picking it up and putting it in your face thinking you have the same thoughts as them as, "They are so cute with their eight tiny little legs and furry little bodies!" - This represents my two weirdo friends; lexie13hoggy and Fuse360

Now I'm going to put in a number 6 but it doesn't really belong on the scale anywhere as you will soon hopefully understand.

6. This person I guess is quite similar to number 5 but likes to keep spiders as pets, as in, *find them in the garden/in your room, put them in a lunch container or something that afterwards you will still put food in and has no air holes or opening so it can neither breathe nor escape and then every so often open the container so it gets more oxygen in, then start poking it with a stick, then when you get more curious, put it under a microscope and look at how much cooler they look when you can see all eight of their eyes plus their fangs! Then keep torturing it in the container till it dies! Yay!* - I must remind you, I do not do this, I repeat, I do NOT do this! But of course I have a friend who does this, Fuse360.

She also has a "pet" spider on her window which she uses to tell what the weather is like, I can't remember it's name but why don't you just look beyond the spider? If it's raining you can tell without the spider crawling into a ball. If you want to know the temperature, use a thermometer or open the door for five seconds.

Before anyone comments it, I know "The whole point of spiders is to get rid of flies," but come on!

Frogs and chameleons are way cuter and they don't creep into your house, claim your shower, scare you when you're in the bathroom and make you never go in there again making you very smelly, very scared and ultimately it made you pee yourself or shit yourself depending on what you were going in the bathroom to do and how badly you were scared! Spiders are perverts!

Who do you really prefer Pascal or Incy Wincy Spider?

On to insects in general though, so

Spiders=Scary and could bite you, possibly poison you (depending on the spider) and kill you.

Wasps=Likely to sting you!
I know people always say "Just stay still and it will go away." But who ever does that? I will will run 10 metres away and waft my arms about till I know it's gone.

.......

WELL I HAVEN'T BEEN STUNG BEFORE SO :P

Bees are the same sort of thing but I don't panic as much unless I don't realise it's a bee because I know once they've lost their stingers they die so they only sting when they have to, it's strange because they sting to protect themselves right? But then they die anyway and they know they're going to die. I don't know.

But I don't often try to get someone to kill a bee for me since I know they're not a danger to me, they help pollinate the flowers to help them live and also they make honey. I love honey!

Flies=Did you know if flies land on something and they are on that object for more than 3 seconds they are probs pooping on that thing? (Unless they're actually on poo or food then they are eating it) Well you do now! Flies are disgusting! That's why I'm not so keen on eating outside/having a picnic. Four insects normally occur whilst eating outside;

•Bees
•Wasps
•Flies
•Ants

so half of the time when you're trying to eat you are actually;

1. Get your hair in your mouth cos it's windy with some other sticky substance you are eating at the time e.g. jam, chocolate etc.

2. Wafting away/running from things that are trying to take your lunch.

Ants=Gross. Again, they bite and steal your food.

Butterflies, I don't really have a problem with unless they land on me, then it's scary.

And it's the same with ladybirds, actually I probably panic more with ladybirds, especially if they are black and orange (cos they are poisonous, not cos the colours offend me!)

Daddy longlegs of course to me are just like spiders but they have the ability to fly! Which is fucking terrifying, they could take over the planet!

Moths=Hate. They're like creepy ghost butterflies that cling to light. And oh, my god, if there's one in your room at night and you turn your phone on, it's one of the scariest things ever!

I think I'm gonna stop scaring myself now but please vote if you enjoyed this chapter.

Also comment what number(s) you think you are about spiders, insects in general or one of the others in particular I mentioned. Tell me what you think of what I wrote or if there's something I haven't mentioned please mentioned it.