EVERYTHING I DESERVE{CURRENTLY REWRITING}

ECCDENTESTIAST

Eccedentesiast (ek-suh-den-TEE-zee-ast) (n.): Someone who hides pain behind a smile.

Natalie's Pov

I spent the entire class half-focused on the lecture and half-obsessed with thoughts of Lorenzo. The events of last night replay in my mind, and I cringe internally. I shouldn't have reacted that way. I'm usually better at articulating my words, but he's disrupting what I've built.

And you're letting him.

After the lecture, I wander downtown and stumble across a candle-making shop. Memories of crafting with Jazz and Lani resurface, pulling at something deep inside me. I haven't spoken to them since our blow-up, but maybe I should, I miss them.

.

.

I'm taking a pan out of the oven when my phone rings.

"Hey, Natalie. I was calling to see if I need to bring anything for tonight." his voice was smooth and deep.

"Um, no, I've got everything covered," I say, mentally cursing the shaky edge in my voice.

Get it together girl, damn.

"Okay, just send me your address. I'll be heading over soon."

His request makes me pause. How did we get here? Giving Lorenzo my address feels reckless. Dangerous even. He has invaded my thoughts, unknowingly challenged my morals, and left me craving more. I haven't been entirely focused on school, and I broke my No Dating rule for him. We aren't dating, but still. I know I've lost my mind when the next words are my address.

Lorenzo's Pov

Thud.

Thud.

Whump.

Thud.

I land another hit on the punching bag. My mind is on Natalie and the rematch with Tobias. I've been too focused on her and haven't been training nearly as much as I should have. Why her? What is so special about her? Do I even like her, or has it been so long since I had sex that I'm desperate?

Every question leaves my head with an ache. I have no time to be focused on a girl, let alone one like her. She's pure and innocent. And most importantly, a distraction. She shouldn't be anywhere near me.

As I wrap up my workout, my phone rings.

"Enzo, my man. How are you?" Mateo says. I can practically hear his smirk.

"Teo, what is it?"

"So, might Mariana be in jail..."

Fucking hell.

.

"Sorry, I'm late. Something came up." I tell Natalie as I walk through her door.

"It's okay, the food is still warm." She offers me a warm smile.

I look around her place, and it's exactly what I expected. The lights are warm, plants are everywhere, and it smells like vanilla was made here.

"So, I have some paint by numbers, some blank canvas, and some dishes I made in pottery a while back. I was thinking we could paint them and watch Hugo?"

"That sounds nice, Natalie."

We ate, painted, and watched the movie. It wasn't a funny movie, so the night was pretty quiet; most sounds came from the movie or the movement of our paint brushes. She wasn't much of a nor was I, because of that, I was able to take her in. She is one of the most beautiful people I've ever seen. As she looks at the sad scene playing in front of her with tears in her eyes and a paintbrush in hand, I'm taken back to the night when my hands were on her warm and soft skin. I didn't plan on touching her, but I didn't regret it. Hearing her gasps and seeing the look in her eyes could make anyone think abnormally. I look away and replay every interaction we've ever had.

"Lorenzo, you okay? I've been trying to get your attention for the better part of two minutes." She looked amused and concerned.

"Yeah, sorry, I got lost in space." Which wasn't an entire lie.

"Right. Well, the movie is over now. Do you, uh, wanna watch another or..."

I move closer to her side of the couch and watch her as she watches me. "We could talk. I don't know much about you, Nataile, but I want to change that." We're incredibly close right now; I can hear her sporadic breathing.

"Yeah, we could or..." She leans towards me, but I am still in shock. "We could do other things." She hesitates for a second, as if she is unsure or regrets her actions.

I quickly focus and grab her by her face, inspecting for any signs of stopping. I take her lips with mine. As our tongues dance with each other, I pick her up from the couch and take her to what I'm assuming is her bedroom. I lay her on her bed, not daring to break away from the kiss.

"Natalie." I breathe out. Unsure of what I want.

She pulls back and looks at me, full of lust. "Please. Please, Enzo."

I kiss her. This time, it was more serious and sensual. I want this moment to last forever. So for tonight, I left my get lost in her essence. Tonight, I let her pull me into the unknown.

I'm back from my "hitaus," but for how long?????????????????????????????????