Little Puppets with Broken Strings

"Death Inspires Me Like A Dog Inspires A Rabbit"

I heard the door close downstairs and immediately got up. 

"So, who were you screwing tonight?" I asked, glaring at my older brother from the top of the stairs. 

"It doesn't matter, just go back to bed, Maddie." He sighed, looking exhausted.

"Did they tell you any good secrets?" I retorted. 

"Maddie please, It's not like that." Why couldn't he just be honest with me? 

"Then explain, exactly what it is like, because from here it looks like you're sleeping around with anyone who will tell you some stupid secret while Annie-" I knew that was going too far, but I didn't care.

"SHUT UP!" He roared, coming halfway up the steps. I flinched, quick images of him in the games flashed through my mind and with it came the emotions I felt at the time, fear, disgust, and anger.

"All you care about is yourself, you've become exactly what they want you to be, a Capitol clone. You know what I've learned? Money is much better than secrets." 

"What are you talking about?" He climbed the last few steps so that we were standing face to face. 

"Well, while you were out screwing around in the Capitol and Mom is enjoying her medically educed haze, I've been exploring my own talents." I smirked, knowing I had struck a nerve.

"This isn't a joke, Maddie. You can't do those things, it's-" He paused and shook his head. "You don't understand, there's more to it than you think. Please promise me that you'll stop, you have to." I swear that I saw something flicker in his eyes, but there's no way he could know. 

"There you go again, it's all about you, you want me to stop, but you certainly don't plan on it. You just want me to sit at home and watch mom slowly kill herself." I yelled, trying to hurt him as much as he's hurt me. When I finished I whirled around and stormed off to my room.

--Finnick--

I stood at the top of the stairs staring after my little sister. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach a million times over. I've messed up so badly. I never meant for Maddie to get hurt like this and I definitely never meant for her to try and copy me. The whole reason I did all of this was to protect her. She's my baby sister and I've put her through so much already. When I left for the games everything started falling apart. 

Maddie found out that our dad was having an affair and he made her keep it a secret. She was 6 years old and he manipulated her into keeping his dirty secrets. My mom was so busy with work that she didn't know and he was gone all the time with this other woman and her family. She was pretty much all alone. My mom told me that one night, Maddie asked her why daddy didn't love them anymore. She was confused until Maddie told her his secret. When my dad came home, my mom confronted him and told him he needed to leave, that was the first time she went off and took too many meds. Maddie still won't tell me what happened after that, but she told my best friend, Julian, and he told me. That was when I swore that I was never going to let her get hurt again. 

I've clearly done a fantastic job of that since she's run off and done the same things I have. It used to be worth it, doing what I had to do to keep her safe, even if that mean she hated me, because honestly I deserve it. When I came home from the games, she was terrified of me, because she had seen the games. It took her an entire year to be able to be in the same room as me and three years before she would talk to me. The only way I was able to get through it was my best friend Julian. He's been my best friend since I was little and when I left, he took care of Maddie, so when I came back, they were close and she would talk to him. 

I would do anything to take back the things that have happened to her because of me, but the only thing I can do is what I'm supposed to, even if that means losing Annie. I hated myself for what happened to her and even more so for not being able to help her now. I love her, but I could never tell that to her or anyone else, it was too dangerous. 

That is what my life has become a game of trying to keep everyone I love safe and allowing Snow to sell me to whoever he wants, so that I can compile enough secrets to someday get my sister, my mom, Julian, and Annie safe and far away from Snow. I'm not stupid, I know that's never going to happen.