Finding a Happy Ending (Niall Horan Fanfic)

Chapter: 41 Painkiller

Samantha's P.O.V.

Finished. I set down the pen with a sad sigh. I was never the best writer, but when I scanned over it it seemed pretty exceptional. It was emotional, mysterious, but I guess it got my point across. And if there is one thing I know about writing, it is to get your point to the audience. I set the paper down on the tiny end table and took a seat on the bright green hand couch next to it.

I sighed. Today was going to be so weird, I was not sure how to think of it. It was already two in the afternoon, meaning it took two hours or more to create that fateful letter. Time was wasting. I knew Elly-Ann was going to be home at three or four today, so I had to do this quick, before she can stop the inevitable.
My legs are shaking horribly. I was so certain of this plan just yesterday, but now I am filled with fear. I put my hands down on my knees and pushed down. This should force them steady. But as soon as I had started to apply pressure to my own knees, I felt an intense burning in the depths of my stomach.

The firey blaze made my stomach cringe and cramp. I swiftly attacked my stomach with my hand, cradling the outside, trying to sooth the pain. When my hand made contact with my poor tummy, the burning sensation shot up and gave my chest the sense of hot heart burn. Why was I burning up like this? Was I scared? I wasn't supposed to be. Sure, what I am about to do cannot be easy for anyone, but it almost felt like I was trying to tell myself not to do it. I had to fight myself however. I was going to kill myself, and that was final.

I looked over at the end table again. It housed my notpad and three pill bottles. Two doctor prescribed, and the last full of sleeping pills. I sighed and shook my face so my cheeks flared and I made a horse noise. This was going to be hard, but I really found that no where in my heart or mind, did I regret what I was doing. Sure, the thing holding me back was really was Elly-Ann, my job (which I took off from today), and even Niall. I wished he would miraculously burst through the door and save me any minute now. I half attempted to chuckle at the idea that he would save me princess style, and drag me from this tower to his mythical mansion castle. It was nice to dream pleasantly like that, reminds me of my childhood spent dreaming to be a princess. I'd be like sleeping beauty, with a kiss I awake from a spell and marry my handsome and darling prince. I was so wishful.

Unlike sleeping beauty, I don't happen to have narcolepsy. I have a problem with my life and will take sleeping pills for it. Glug them all down, and not even true love's first kiss can wake me from my lasting sleep. I was still staring at the pills, waiting for my brain to decide to take them. With a fire inside me, and my nerves tingling, I fatefully reached for the bottles. I grabbed both the pain relievers and the sleeping pills all in one hand. I brought them up to me, and set them down on the loveseat. I guess this is the last time I can decide to turn back if I want to. I gulped. I had always planned I would bleed to death after cutting. Never did I think it would end like this, with all these objections in my mind against it. I think now of how great it would be to die elderly. But, that meant I would have to live a lonely and depressing life even longer than I already have. I wasn't about to deal with that.

It ends here I guess. Unless I want to live a few pointless days longer, but that would not do me any good. And today, right now, it would mean something. It was exactly one year ago today that I met Niall. That is why I even held off until today. Maybe it would mean a little extra to Niall when he eventually finds out about it. I picked up the first orange pill bottle and looked at it. This is it. If I open this lid, there is no turning back. I will die. I almost started to cry as the thought that I'm taking my last few breaths right now. But at least I won't die unprepared. I knew this would happen. So, without giving myself anymore time to think it over, I opened the bottle, and emptied it into my hand. There was only six pills in this one, but that was okay with me. It would still do the trick. I licked my lips to make them moist enough to swallow these pills without needing water. Then, all in one quick motion, I did it. I opened my mouth, raised my hand, and let the pills tumble in. I closed, and swallowed.