Exuberance Is Beauty (Book 1)

Chapter 3

The baby was so close. I started sleeping later and later. Less than a month left to go; my mind and body felt so ready. Some nights I willed him to come. I concentrated and rubbed my belly. Tried to coax him out. The excitement was building. I wanted to hold him in my arms. I felt that once he was born, my life in Bend would be secured. It had been two months since the letter from Jeff Lambert. It remained in my winter coat pocket in the armoire. I hadn't looked at it since the day it came. At first I was afraid that because I never wrote back he would be angry with me and do something vengeful. I didn't know what he could do from Portland, but I knew he could be cold and mean. As time wore on I realized that things were different. What could he do if I didn't write him back? I wasn't living in a house in Sellwood, having an affair with a married man. The worst thing that could have happened had already happened.

One day another letter from Jeff arrived. That day was like the others late in the pregnancy. I felt as if I hadn't slept at all, but I made myself get out of bed and get ready for the day. That morning I opened the armoire and removed a slip and one of the adorable maternity outfits Mary and I had made back when we couldn't have imagined I would be so big. I pulled the slip over my belly and powered my chest and neck. It was so warm those last days of my pregnancy. I pulled the skirt on and then the smock. The smock had barely any give. The skirt fastened with ties so adjusted to my size. Even pregnant, it was a smart looking outfit. Navy blue with tiny flower print, a white color and a red bow. It was simple but made me feel pretty and somehow suggested that at one time I'd had a girlish figure. Charlie was so big by then that instead of little kicks to my ribs, he seemed to fill up my belly, tightly secure in there. My skin around my stomach was like an inflated balloon. I could feel a little part of his foot just under my rib causing some pressure but barely moving. I knew that little round lump was his heel. I would rub it gently throughout the day. I was sure he was big enough to be born, but Mary's friend Lenore who had four children told me that the last month would take forever. "You feel ready, as if it will happen any moment. Then it takes weeks before labor starts." I had such a feeling of love and contentment when I ran my hand over my stomach. It was all I could do to wait for him to arrive. I picked up the hairbrush and bobby pins and started putting my hair up.

I turned when I heard a gentle rap on the door. The door opened slowly, it was Mary. "I thought you were sleeping. I just brought your mail. I'll leave it up here. You can take your time getting ready. No need to rush." She placed the letters on the dresser.

"Mail? From Carmen?"

"Yes. And, there's another letter from that man who wants to buy your house."

"Jeff Lambert?"

"Yes, that's what it says. Portland Museum of Art."

"He's a professor there. An artist. He teaches."

"Well, here it is." Mary started out the door. She lingered for a moment. "Do you want Frank to help you with your business affairs? Like we talked about? When you decide to sell the house in Portland. If you end up staying here in Bend? There's a lot he can do to help you Eve. He's a very good businessman. He's done a lot of work with the bank for the farm."

I was paralyzed. As much as I didn't want to let on that there was anything other than a letter from a persistent buyer, I felt almost as if I couldn't speak. I had to muster words to keep Mary from worrying or suspecting something else was going on.

"I do, Mary. When I decide to sell, I will have Frank contact Mr. Lambert."

She nodded. "I keep meaning to tell Frank about his letters and the man's interest in the house. I was going to ask Carmen if she knows him. Maybe she can talk to him for you when you decide."