Don't let go

16th November, 2004

Mummy isn't home today. She's said she was going to be gone for the whole weekend. I don't like it when mummy leaves. There's no one to read to me. After eating ALL my spaghetti at dinner i ran up the stairs to daddy's room to ask if he could read to me. He was in his office chair but wasn't alone. There was someone on his lap. I didn't like that. I thought I was the only person he would hold on his lap. He told me she was his friend. She was really pretty but not as butiful as mummy. I smiled at her but she Didn't smile back.

I closed my diary from eleven years ago and set it under my drawer. It's funny how much things have changed since then. I headed out of my room for dinner, this usually consists of a microwaved meal or the occasional pizza.

I made myself some Ramen noodles....the same thing I've eaten for three nights now. Setting it on our mini dinning area with the kitchen lights illuminating our small apartment. Mom says I should keep on as little light on as possible in an effort to limiting the bills.

She wasn't home today so i was eating alone. This isn't much of a surprise though. We occasionally have dinner together but thats only on nights when she doesn't works night shifts or is too drunk to remember her daughters name. Which, as i mentioned before is only on occasion.

After eating I went into my room pulling out my journal. I know. Who keeps a journal at 17? Me. No one knows I keep this though. It's my only escape besides reading. Or maybe it's just something I like to do to pass time.

12th January, 2015

The bus passed by my stop again so I didn't have much choice but to walk. At school someone was kind enough to leave me a much more rattier version of my grey hoodie in my locker. With a note attached to it (with a peace of gum) that said "found your hoodie in the dumpster thought I'd return it". Gee thanks! (Hint sarcasm). I think they might be running out of pranks to haul at me.

I bumped into Jackson on my way to lunch (again) it was unintentional. I think. I don't know why I even bother having crushes. It's not like anyone's going to actually acknowledged me. Besides the fact that i wear the same hoodie EVERY DAY or that my hair could pass for a birds nest. Or my makeup free face is always covered by my bangs.

I got tripped and called fat for taking seconds at lunch today. I din't have breakfast and wasn't looking forward to dinner.This led me to taking off my shirt and staring at myself in the mirror for about ten minutes in the bathroom at Harvest Bests(that's where I work). I know I shouldn't let those. words get to me but sometimes It's not as easy.
-Elizabeth flowers