Blind to Beauty

Chapter Seventeen

“Beautiful is greater than good, for it includes the good” –Goethe

    The days went by fast, and soon those days turned into weeks and the weeks became memories. I had turned in my volunteer hour form to Ms. Barely with a lecture about turning things in last minute.  Seamoore had given me little hassle about signing it. I had bought my cap and gown, my graduation party invites sent out to the family I never see so they could give me money to go off to the college I wanted.

     Lacey had dragged me out shopping with her for dorm room furniture and decorations. It was a bittersweet shopping trip. It would be one of our last for quite some time. I could tell that Lacey was trying her best to make this shopping trip the best, but we both were too miserable with the thoughts of separation.

     The real world was coming in quick, and it wasn’t something I had been prepared for –I don’t think anyone is prepared for the real world until it actually comes. The responsibility, the stress, the feeling of knowing nothing all over again. That’s what it would be to me. Everything I had known would be completely gone.

     I wouldn’t be living on my own for quite some time, since I didn’t have any money to do that, but I had to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I wouldn’t have my whole school year planned out for me now. I had the decision of getting a job or going to college. As I said before I had no idea what I wanted to study, so getting a job was currently first in the running.

     Seamoore and I hadn’t talked anymore about what was going to happen after our agreement was up. What more was there to say? We either talked to each other afterwards or we didn’t. I hadn’t been seeing him as much as I had been before, either. He was constantly out doing things with Collin and Casper. When I’d ask when he’d want me to come with him somewhere again, he said that he would call me and let me know.

     Hanging out Seamoore didn’t stop completely, but it was enough to make me a little upset. Instead of spending every day of the week with him, I was just seeing him once or twice during the week then occasionally for an hour or two on the weekend.

    When we did hang out, we’d just walk up and down town, arm in arm like we always did. Not much was said. Seamoore would ask me what I had been up to during the week, and I’d always give the same answer.

     “Same old same old.”

     He would then nod, and we’d be back into silence once again. The silence wasn’t awkward like it once was. Rather it was tense, like he wanted to say something but was holding back. I knew Seamoore wouldn’t voice what he was thinking.

     Collin would sometimes join us on our excursions through town. He’d happily trot ahead of us on his leash, trying to make Seamoore go faster. Whenever he pulled Seamoore would pull back on the leash, making Collin stop his tugging for a few minutes, before he would go back to tugging harder the next time.

     I noticed that Collin was similar to Seamoore. He was stubborn. No matter how many times Seamoore would tell him to stop pulling and yank him back, Collin still kept tugging. Exactly like Seamoore. No matter how many times I’d tell him to stop insulting some of the music I’d listen to, he’d still keep at it.

     When I wasn’t hanging out with Seamoore or helping Lacey pack her things up, I was looking into places to work. Our little town didn’t offer anything that was career worthy, or very substantial. My best bet would be to save up for a few months then move out to a bigger town. This would lead to looking for a type of office job.

    I had the qualifications to be a receptionist somewhere, but that wasn’t really something I wanted to do. It looked like a boring job. Answering phones all day and taking messages. Not my type of work.