Chapter three,
Laurens POV.
I wake up from my alarm on my phone and the first thought that goes to my mind is school. Today is my first day on my new school here and you could say that I'm a little nervous. I'm pretty sure I'll make one friend at least, I mean, being the new one can't be that bad. Right?
I get up from my bed and walk into the small living room to find my dad passed out on the couch. I decide to leave him and take a shower in the disgusting bathroom. As I strip down my clothes I turn on the hot water and carefully step into the shower. As the water hits my body I jump back and let out a scream. It's ice cold water, in the middle of the winter. I quickly wash my hair and body with the cold water and step out of the freezing shower.
I walk back into my room and open my still unpacked suitcase to pick out an outfit. As I go through the small amount of clothes I own, I sit down on my bed and take a deep breath before continuing to look for something nice to wear. I grab a pair of jeans with here and there some rips in it and a grey tank top. As shoes I wear my worn out converse that used to be white.
When I get to the living room my dad is still asleep on the couch. I go to the small kitchen and look for something to eat but there's nothing eatable. I'll leave a note for my dad to go to the grocery store before I leave.
I wonder what the school will be like. I mean, I hope that the kids there are nice and I really want to make some friends. I just don't think it's a good idea to tell them where I live. Maybe they will judge me or something.
I write a note for my dad and leave it at the counter before grabbing my backpack and walking out of the apartment. I rush down the exhaustingly long stairs and make my way outside.
Yesterday my dad told me that I have to walk to school because he can't pay for the bus. I feel like some poor child that can barely pay for education. I bet everything would've been better if my dad never lost his job but sadly that has already happened.
I walk down the street and try to find my way to school. I read the signs and do my best to understand where I have to go, but it's hopeless. I look around and finally see the school.
It's huge, seriously there has to be more than five thousand kids in there.
I make my way inside, trying not to get lost in the crowded schoolground. There are so many people! I might die in here. As I look around I see a lot of groups, like, the popular ones and emo's. All that sort of groups.
I can't help but wonder if I'll ever fit in. They seem to be very close and I feel like they're not really waiting for some new, almost poor, girl to disturb them.
As I walk over the reception to get my schedule some people decide to bump into me on purpose. Nice, first day of school here and they're already making fun of me. I don't blame them actually, I mean look at my clothes. There's holes in them and they're dirty because my father is spending all his money on alcohol.
I quickly ask for my schedule and then leave to the classroom because I'm almost late. As I walk into the classroom I notice that everybody is already sitting on "their" chairs. I look around and find a seat in the very back of the classroom. Maybe the people in this class are nice and maybe I can make friends right now.
As a random guy takes a seat next to me, obviously not voluntarily, I decide to just go for it and try to make some sort of social contact with people.
"Hey, I'm Lauren." I say while holding out my hand. As I watch his eyes move away from me, he gets up and takes a seat in the front. That was rude!
I turn around when I hear the teacher come in and grab my books for English.
She introduces herself to me and then starts the class.
When I finish my last class of the day I quickly grab my bag and leave the school as soon as I can.
I take a deep breath when I get off the school ground and make my way home.
As I look around I see a small lake behind some trees. I can't help myself but walk over to the place to see if anyone is there.
It's empty, abandoned. Just as my life right now.
I sit down against a tree and grab my journal from my bag. I immediately start writing as I notice that I really have to get everything out of my mind.
Dear diary,
Yesterday I moved to a new house. It's a small town and there's not much to do.
Today was my first school day but the people weren't really nice. They weren't nice at all, actually. I tried to make a conversation with this guy and when I told him my name he just scoffed and sat next to someone else.
I've been wondering since the day I got here. Wondering if I'll ever fit in.
Everyone seems to have their own group of friends and they're obviously not waiting for someone to disturb their 'perfect' lives.
I guess I'll just see what happens. I don't have much to say anyway.
Dad started drinking, a lot. And I don't know how to deal with it. Whenever he is drunk he gets really aggressive and mad. Probably the frustration of losing his wife and not being able to get her back. But I have that frustration too.
Lauren.
I close my journal and put it back into my bag. I really needed to get all of this out. It has been so frustrating to have nobody to talk to. I always told my mom everything but now? I have nobody here, my dad doesn't even bother to ask if I'm okay. Then how do you expect me to talk to him about my feelings.
I grab a stone from the ground and throw it into the water, almost hitting a duck. I let out a little laugh when I imagine what would've happened if I did hit the duck.
As I look at my watch, which has a crack in it, I see that it's already 5:30 PM. I had to be home at five so I will just have listen to the yelling and preaching, again.
I quickly get up from the ground and throw my bag over my shoulder before walking away from the lake.
He is probably drunk on the couch, watching porn. Whenever I get home he is drunk or not home and to be honest I am hoping that he isn't home.
I walk past the basketball court where I met Shawn and can't help but smile at the memory. The way he introduced himself and the way he made me try to get the ball was so, special.
Oh stop it Lauren he would never fall for someone like you! Look at me, worn out clothes and shoes, long brown frizzy hair and no make up.
Isn't that what boys fall for these days? Make up pumped barbie dolls. I mean, no offence to people who like make up but you don't have to over-use it.
As I walk down the street I accidentally trip over my own foot. My books are all over the street and so is my bag. I quickly get up and start getting my books of off the street.
"Clumsy huh?" I hear behind me. I turn around to see Shawn standing there. As I look at him I can feel my cheeks getting warm. This is embarrassing, so embarrassing!
"Need some help?" He asks me before bending down to pick up some books.
"It's fine really." I answer but he is already picking up my books.
"Thank you." I say when he hands me my bag. "No problem, Lauren." He smiles at me.
He remembers my name, that's a good thing right?
"I should go home, bye." I say to him and give him a small smile before walking home.
I might as well skip school tomorrow. This was so embarrassing and the people there don't like me anyway! One day of missing school can't be that bad.
When I get home I'm relieved to find my dad asleep on the couch. I don't bother to eat dinner, I'm not hungry anyway. I immediately go to my room and get into bed.
People were so mean, I hate it here. I made a total fool of myself in front of Shawn and I haven't made any friends yet. My dad is drunk, every second of the day and I live in an almost abandoned apartment complex.
I turn off my alarm clock and lay back down. With all these thoughts on my mind I slowly fall asleep. Not worrying about tomorrow because I will stay home.
